alicia
Dedicated May 2019

Thank you card dilemma

alicia , on May 7, 2019 at 6:22 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 25
Saved
Reply
I was just married this Saturday and I’m starting to think about thank you cards for all of our gifts (as I have not so much as opened the card box yet)

I want to send one of our wedding photos with the thank you’s but it might be as long as 6-8 weeks before I get my professional photos back.

I think it’s a little rude to start cashing checks without sending thank you cards out soon after and I know it’s also wrong to wait so long to cash checks so that people don’t forget they wrote them and have it mess up their account balance.

Also, of the tons of pictures our friends and family took apparently no one took photos of just my husband and I so that wouldn’t really work either.

So do I just wait to send the thank you’s until the minute I get my photos back or just send the thank you’s without the photo?

25 Comments

Latest activity by KatieBugg247, on May 7, 2019 at 4:27 PM
  • Allison
    Devoted April 2020
    Allison ·
    • Flag
    I would go ahead and send the thank you cards-people appreciate a timely thank you. You can use your pictures for Christmas cards later in the year! Or reach out to your photographer and see if he/she can send you two or three edited pictures of just the two of you so you can use it for thank you cards!
    • Reply
  • Grace
    Expert June 2019
    Grace ·
    • Flag
    I would go ahead and send the thank yous. I like the PP’s ideas or you can just use an engagement picture or other picture of the two of you in the thank you
    • Reply
  • Sharon
    Expert September 2021
    Sharon ·
    • Flag
    I think it's customary to wait until you get pictures back before you send out the thank you cards so people wouldn't be upset if they didn't get one for a few weeks. At least I wouldn't be.
    • Reply
  • Martha
    Devoted September 2019
    Martha ·
    • Flag
    For weddings I’ve gone to, it’s taken a couple months to get the thank you card. I don’t find it rude, I think every couple wants to send one with a photo from the wedding, and most people know that.
    • Reply
  • Jessica
    Super May 2019
    Jessica ·
    • Flag

    I think it's ok to wait a few weeks. Will your photographer get you any sneak peeks? We get about 20 within a week and then the full gallery in the 6-8 weeks.

    • Reply
  • Abby
    VIP March 2019
    Abby ·
    • Flag
    Most people understand that it could take up to a couple months since people like to wait for their wedding photos so I don't think anyone would think of you as rude. We didn't feel like waiting that long so we sent out thank you cards with no picture.
    • Reply
  • Kk
    Devoted October 2021
    Kk ·
    • Flag
    Maybe you can ask your photographer to send you one pic early?
    • Reply
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag

    Send thank you's without a photo. A photo is a nice touch, but definitely not necessary. I'd rather not receive a photo than wait 2+ months to find out that the couple received my gift.

    • Reply
  • Alyssa
    Super September 2019
    Alyssa ·
    • Flag

    All the weddings I have been to, the thank you card has come quite a while after the wedding and I never thought twice about the time frame in which I got a thank you! Could you maybe write the thank you's now and start addressing the envelopes? That way, when your pictures come in all you have left to do is stuff them in the envelopes and send them?

    • Reply
  • B11
    Super May 2019
    B11 ·
    • Flag

    Send them without the photos. We've received photo thank you cards and regular thank you cards for wedding gifts. We read them when they arrive in the mail, and then they get recycled.

    If you wait the 8 weeks to get your photos back, then you're also getting close to the 3 month mark that thank you notes should be sent by.

    • Reply
  • Melissa
    VIP September 2019
    Melissa ·
    • Flag
    It’s perfectly fine to wait a few weeks to send the thank you notes. Also, your photographer will usually give you a sneak peek of your photos within a week or so. As for the checks, I would cash them. I always hate having outstanding checks from weddings because it makes managing my money a little tougher.
    • Reply
  • Mcskipper
    Master July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
    • Flag
    It is much more rude to not cash checks than to send them before the thank you card. If you don’t cash them soon, people will start worrying that you didn’t get them. Cashing them acknowledges receipt, thank yous can come later. Although if you’re waiting up to 8 weeks to even GET a photo, then more time for ordering, THEN writing the card, you could be pushing it. (If they’re written and ready to mail and you’re just waiting to tuck a picture in, that’s an okay timeline). There’s no requirement that you need a photo , and most people would rather a timely photo-less thank you card than waiting several months for a photo. THAT said, the standard etiquette timeline for wedding thank yous is “within 3 months” ...The most important part of a thank you card is the personal note to say thank you.
    If you REALLY want pics for your card, it’s not unreasonable to ask your photographer if they can provide you with a couple of “sneak peak” or “preview” options to use for cards if possible— just make sure to be understanding if they are unable to.
    • Reply
  • Nemo
    Master August 2018
    Nemo ·
    • Flag
    I’ve never received a thank you card with a picture on it. I don’t really think people care that much about what the thank you cards look like. You have 3 months from the wedding to send out the thank you cards, but the sooner you get them done, the better because it is honestly something that will weigh on you until you get them sent out.
    • Reply
  • Jessica
    Expert October 2019
    Jessica ·
    • Flag
    I would highly suggest you do open your thank you cards and deposit the checks. For people who still use checks, especially those who don't keep a good checkbook balance, waiting over a week or two to cash a check is considered rude as that check/money is technically in limbo for that person's account. If you waited two months (checks are only good for about 90 days anyway) someone could be hit with that money they gifted you coming out at a time when the money isn't in their acount anymore if an emergency might happen to them. We really don't think of that stuff anymore considering not mant people use checks anymore.

    So I'd say if you want to send a picture, make Christmas Cards this year with wedding photos or maybe even a second kind of thank you to all your guests. But open, deposit any checks, send your regular thank yous asap.
    • Reply
  • Jessica
    Expert October 2019
    Jessica ·
    • Flag
    Open your wedding cards I meant not thank you cards. Lol. I wish we could edit our posts..
    • Reply
  • C
    Super July 2019
    Crystal ·
    • Flag
    I would just send it without the photo so that checks are not sitting out there.
    • Reply
  • Allie
    Master August 2019
    Allie ·
    • Flag

    I would either try to get a sneak peak from your photographer to get them out sooner or just go ahead and send without a picture. The Christmas card is a good idea.

    • Reply
  • Brooke
    Dedicated October 2020
    Brooke ·
    • Flag
    Ask your photographer for a few photos and explain what you want to do..... Waiting a few weeks isn't bad, you're enjoying your new marriage after all the stress of planning it.... Take a break.
    • Reply
  • Kiki
    Super May 2019
    Kiki ·
    • Flag

    I personally will be waiting for my photos to send thank you cards, it's a common thing to do in my area though. Cheques I would cash right away because those people probably set that money aside expecting you to take it ASAP.

    • Reply
  • Sherry
    Master September 2019
    Sherry ·
    • Flag

    I have always received thank you cards weeks after the event. I think you will be fine to wait to send the cards until you got the photos back. Maybe ask the photographer if they can send you a few sneak peeks and choose from those. I do agree that you probably shouldn't wait to cash the checks though.

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

WeddingWire article topics