Terrible Wedding Day

For anyone who just read that excuse my auto correct. LOL. One part I was just talking about how I have your current pain and heartbreak being reminded of that day and how I felt terrible About it eversince... I don’t know if I should feel shame for shame but I feel like I have dealt with this for so long I wanted to know if anybody else is going through something like this?

OP I am sorry that you felt this way about your wedding day.

Without meaning to be insensitive, have you considered seeing a therapist or counsellor? It has been three years since your wedding has passed and you have not been able to move past certain things which happened on the day/in the lead up. As you have said yourself, you cannot go to another person’s wedding without those feelings returning and have not been able to come to terms with what happened.

Perhaps seeing someone may help you come to terms with what happened and moving on so you can focus on the good things in your life and what lies ahead?

Awe, no! That stinks. So sorry that you feel that way. Maybe you should consider a vow renewal so that you can have more of your dream day? Save up for your dream dress for a while until you decide if/when you want to have a vow renewal - that way the money for things that you deem important is already saved up so nothing will interfere if you decide to do so. And maybe you could keep the event smaller so that nobody can ruin it. Otherwise, if you're anything like me, all you care about is the photos. I could have a tiny, tiny wedding and then have a staged photoshoot with a beautiful venue, father walking me down the isle, me and hubby together, and with important people like family. If this is something you'd be interested in, it'd be much cheaper than having another wedding. I totally would've done that if I had thought of it prior to a wedding. Wishing you the best of luck on whatever you decide!

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much for your comment! I love the idea and I think that is what I need to recreate a positive memory to heal.

View Quoted Comment Absolutely! A vow renewal or a staged photoshoot might really help you get what you originally wanted out of your wedding. Hope you're able to make some unhappy memories more happy! 💞💞

View Quoted Comment I think you’re right, a therapist would definitely help. It’s not insensitive at all! Really that is great advice and I appreciate it ❤️

I totally suggest a vow renewal! Save up, buy your dream dress and make it all about you regardless! If it were up to me, at this point I would take a photographer, officiant, and my fiancé to the Rocky Mountains and just elope. I would get my dream dress, get my hair and makeup done, stay in somewhere secluded, fancy dinner and spoil ourselves. The family drama is ridiculous. I will definitely tell you if you do it all over again, focus on the two of you. Just spoil yourself and treat Yourself like you deserve.

Those people and what they did to you is absolutely wrong. Absolutely absolutely terrible. How dare they. Inconsiderate, no manners, and just despicable. I really would encourage you to THROW ANOTHER WEDDING AND SCRATCH THE FIRST ONE! SAVE UP FOR THAT DRESS, GET THAT HAPPY FEELING, AND DO IT WITH THE ONE WHO DOESNT LET YOU DOWN, YOUR HUSBAND. Perioddd. And invite new people and make sure they’re totally gonna be there for you if you’re inviting them. Like, deada$$. And I pray you have an amazing time at that one

Sorry this happened to you. What did your spouse have to say about everything? Maybe do a vow renewal at a destination or something small with people you know would support you

I am so sorry you are going through all this and reliving your pain constantly. As many have said, I'd definitely consider counseling to help you get through this healing process. How has your husband helped you, does he feel the same way?

I'm sorry so many people let you down on your special day, is there something that happened and lead up to that?

Again, as many have noted, I'd consider a vow renewal to recreate the day as you would want it to be. Buy the dress you always wanted and make sure only those that are your closest / dearest are included. Praying and hoping that you are one day able to heal from this.

I unfortunately know exactly how you feel. My first wedding, my friends (bridesmaids showed up in tennis shoes) my aka best friend brought her new puppy with her and put his puppy pad under my gift table! She then got mad at me because I wasnt paying her any attention. While getting dressed for my wedding she also refused to help me with my make up or hair because I should have known how to do it by then! My uncle was supposed to marry me but he got sick with pneumonia and wasnt able so my cousin was my back up and he was out of town due to another emergency so my aunt ( yes I have ministers in the family lots thankfully) anyways so my aunt decided she would do it the day before however her husband had a stroke that night and so she came did the ceramony quickly and had to leave! My cousin who was to play my wedding march on the piano also was sick with pneumonia. My sister who is handicapped was taken away by ambulance an hour before the ceremony due to a blood clot. My MOTHER showed up in a white dress!!! My Baker got the dates wrong and delivered my cake a day early. I fell doing decorations because I wanted to do things myself and well I scratched my arm all the way up. My photographer showed up AFTER the ceremony had started. My dad, well he would rather go fishing down by the lake so he changed his clothes before the father daughter dance so the pictures of us are of him in his work clothes! My own husband refused to give me a proper kiss for the wedding. His family showed up thinking it would be a joke ate and left. I didnt know his sisters at all to include them. All and all it was a farse and a disappointment. I never felt pretty or pampered or truly loved on that day. I never got over it. After 10 years we got a divorce. 6 years later I'm getting remarried again to the love of my life and I'm making sure that I'm not having those problems again! If I were you and it's still bothering you. I say buy a sexy dress grab your husband and have a renewing of the vows and make sure it's how you want it to be! Dont be afraid to exclude people and make it as big or small as you want it to be.

Aww I'm so very sorry you had to go through that on your big day. Everyone deserves to have their special day. Maybe do a intimate vow renewal with just the two of you and hire someone to take photos of you guys.

Wow so sorry to hear that. I recommend you see a therapist and consider having a vow renewal for your 5th anniversary.
Due to hearing soooo many stories like yours, it influenced me to not have a regular or "normal" wedding. We can have so many high expectations about that day and how others are acting and when we are let down it's such a heartbreak. I was completely stressed out with my engagement pic photoshoot and I don't want to feel like that on my wedding day.
Thanks for sharing your story.

Honey I am so sorry to hear this...my heart literally breaks for you. I absolutely agree with the other ladies...create your dream renewal !! Get the best!!! What's so interesting is people like myself and thousands of others would LOVE to be part of a wedding party!!! Helping in any way possible and will make sure to guide everything along as smoothly as possible! Heck INVITE me!!! 🤣❤️❤️ What horrendous people would do that?? You should be excited and proud of your wedding experience.

I feel like your first sentence says what’s most important. You stated, “I’m happily married...”. So, to me, that outweighs anything else because there are so many couples who have go through the big wedding hoopla and have the “perfect day”..... but are now unhappily married 3 years later. In those cases, the wedding was the best thing they had together as a couple, and that’s not the way it’s supposed to be. So sometimes you have to step back and think about that… Which would you prefer?


But wow, it’s really sad to hear when 1 single day has become more thought of than the over 1000 days you’ve been married. So, hopefully getting it out and sharing with others will allow you to let it go and be fully present to enjoy the wonderful days with your husband.
However, if your wedding day is still agonizing you and breaking your heart this much, I’d totally throw a surprise vow renewal. That would be fun, different, exciting and special. Have your family and friends think they’re just coming to an anniversary party. But, then it ends up being an entire ceremony and reception. That would possibly give you the happy feelings and memories that you’re seeking in a marital celebration. But be sure to release any expectations about the day and just have a great time. Either way, best wishes to you!

Private vow renewal, your way! 🤗

I will be praying for you! I highly recommend a vow renewal. If you don’t like something work to change it. A vow renewal could be a way to change your perspective on weddings and create new beautiful memories!

Everything everyone has said above! I didn’t have a terrible day, but I wish someone would have told me my makeup wasn’t perfect when the photographer started taking photos. There are a couple of other things, but I’ve tried to remind myself that it’s not important. The important thing is I’m married to the most amazing and thoughtful man.


I never did get a proper honeymoon, so when covid is over that’s something on the list. If your day wasn’t perfect, most definitely look into the vow renewal. And only invite the people who matter to you who you know will go.

My heart hurts for you! I'm so sorry so many things went wrong, and people made you feel less than special on one of the most important days of your life. I agree - do the vow renewal and get your dream dress. Make it all about the 2 of you! My "wedding/elopement" wasn't all that great either. We had to postpone due to the virus, didn't get a real honeymoon, and had none of our family there. It was pretty underwhelming, so we're still looking forward to our "big" wedding as soon as the virus gets better. I wish you the best and hope you're able to have the re-do of your dreams!!!