Terrible Toasts!

I don't have any stories myself, but I have been to several weddings where the toasts were just AWFUL! One I went to, the best man carried on for a good 10 minutes.. About nothing.

Worst was when every parent's speech was 20 min and all 4 of them spoke. It was absolutely dreadful. No idea what they said cause it was just mind numbing.

We're not allowing any toasts- the DJ has been explicitly told not to give the mic to anyone that isn't me or FH lol

Last summer FH and I went to a wedding where the MOH toast was so cringe-worthy!

She got up to speak and started telling nice stories about the couple then it turned into a preach of "Work together but enjoy your time alone, don't forget your love for each other, don't give into temptations of others, when babies come life changes and you won't like each other anymore and kids will run your lives...etc". MOH was a mom. Everyone felt kind of uncomfortable.

Two months later the groom cheated on the bride and yesterday they finalized their divorce so...I think MOH knew something was up.

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Omg how awful!!

A little over 3 years ago I was the MOH in one of my best friends weddings. The best man gave the WORST speech ever, well because it really was not a speech. So it was time for the toast and speeches. The grooms daughter gave a very heartfelt speech - but it was a speech from a teenage girl - and was mostly about her dad; and then the best man was handed the mic and all he said was DITTO. That's it.

My BIL's toast wasn't terrible, but it also wasn't...the best?

He talked about his relationship with his brother, my husband, which is all fine and great, but...that's....all he talked about. He mentioned me in the last line of the toast and it was just "treat her well"

It was sweet, but it also went on for 5 minutes and didn't focus on us as a couple, it was basically just story time of them growing up, which I thought would be more appropriate at a b-day party or something similar, not a wedding.

I went to a wedding where the bride’s sister did a rap.. It was really cringey because you could tell she was nervous, she was mumbling and really quiet..

We went to a wedding where they got married at the base of the ski mountain, and then the reception was the next day. But after the ceremony, we went back to the bride's parent's condo for champagne and toasts. The only thing the MOH said was "Good luck dealing with her! She's your problem now." MOH was bride's sister. and the Best man didnt even know he was supposed to give a speech, so he got up there and goes "Well, you did it. Now go procreate." I felt so bad for the couple, and the whole thing was so cringey we just slipped out the door and went to get lunch LOL.

The last wedding I went to (besides mine!) was one where there was some financial disparity between the bride’s family and the groom’s...which is to say, the couple had expensive taste, the groom’s family was willing and able to pay, the bride’s family was ...traditional and a little upset not to be the main hosts of the event. As such, BOTH fathers gave “toasts” (speeches). Neither was particularly short, but it seemed the FOB was determined to one up the FOG, so he went up with a several page speech. Not only was it painful bc of length, but his speech also included a couple of very uncomfortable budget digs aimed at the groom’s parents 😳

we avoided toasts altogether at our wedding!

FH's cousin's wedding...BM speech ended in:

"May your wedding night be like a Thanksgiving dinner...little bit of leg, little bit of thigh.....and a whole lot of stuffin'!"

....I could swear you could hear everyone's jaw drop lol. Lots of elderly family at this wedding, too! hahaha

I went to a wedding and the BM speech was basically how him and the groom were in love and the bride ruined everything....he even gave her a super dirty look.....I always had a feeling he was marrying her as a cover and then this...

All I can think of is Michael Scott saying a wedding is the combining of two hot metals

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Hahahah so good!

Oh man I have so many bad ones I can share!!

At my sorority little sister's wedding her MOH was her middle sister who opened her toast with "I was surprised when (bride) asked me to be her MOH because we've never really been that close... but it's so exciting to be a part of her big day".... yikes!

But the worst I've ever heard was for one of my guy friends from college. His two older brothers did a joint speech where they joking roasted their brother a little bit. They took this time to finally fess up about wrecking a golf cart 15 years ago and blaming on their brother, the groom. All the guests laughed but apparently the groom was punished a lot for the accident way back when - he was in high school and grounded all summer and had to come up with the money to cover the damage. And when his brothers confessed at his wedding mid-reception... he was FURIOUS! The groomsmen had to legit hold him back and he was pissed for the rest of the night. It was quite the downer...and we all wished they hadn't shared that family story!

I think the worst speech I've heard was made by the groom of a wedding I attended years ago. The bridal party had gone through multiple coolers of beer while taking photos between the ceremony and reception. As such, they were very drunk when they arrived at the reception. The groom tried to give a speech thanking everyone for coming but all he did was some incoherent slurring. The bride took the mic from him and thanked everyone for him (she was not drunk) and you could tell she was super upset and embarrassed. It was painful to watch.

Went with a friend to our coworker's wedding and her MOH went into detail how they got wasted at 13 years old lol

I hate toasts. There won't be any at my wedding. I feel like all people do is end up making it about them and not the couple ...

Yikes I came to this post for a laugh and now I am terrified about doing toasts at my wedding! Ah I am going to talk to my MOH (sister) today and try to talk her out of wanting to give one lol

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That's aggressive!!