Telling friends who aren't bridesmaids?

Yes, obviously. I can also walk down the street in Midtown Manhattan and tell everyone I see to F off, but I'm not going to do that.

And yes, BMs do the inviting, I give them the invite list. Thanks for nitpicking.

Just pull aside your selected few and tell them they're not Not in your wedding

I am in a similar boat, I have an old, old friend that has taken a... different path than I have who is expecting to be in my BP. I just haven't said anything and I think she's gotten the hint. People will figure it out and it'll be fine. You don't have to say anything. And yes, wait just a little longer to ask, maybe a couple of months. Dresses don't take that long to come in and nobody needs a whole year's notice to be a BM.

I personally think it is a nice gesture to have something when asking your BP. I just did very nice, hand-written letters. A picture sounds sweet, too.

I think that might be theraputic. Dangerous, but theraputic.

This was also an issue with me. Although a little easier because I am not having friends at all- I have 3 sisters and 3 first cousins that I needed to include so that already made 6. I actually did tell my three closest friends because I was in their weddings and felt special so I didn't want them to think I wasn't thinking about them. I simply said that I was only have family but they are invited to get ready with us, nails, etc. Maybe offering for them to come to something like that would be a nice gesture.

I have this problem. I have a group of 5 close friends that we have been close since grade school. I love them dearly, but I didn't want a massive bridal party

My plan is having my best friend since 4th grade, my 2 FSILs, and my best friend from college. I am ALSO having my 3 oldest nieces be Jr. BMs. I felt like I had to cut it somewhere, and with the 5 it was all or none for my group of friends. I don't plan on telling them straight out. But they can be involved in as much as they want.

That's my plan at least. Fingers crossed feelings don't get hurt. I already know 3 of them will understand. Worried about the other 2

Bad idea. I have a friend that has dropped some serious hints about wanting to walk in mine but she just got a job, her bf is gonna be having surgery and she has a son with health issues and I felt that instead of her worry about walking and all the other stuff that comes with being a BM to just come as a guest. Saves her money from getting a dress. She told me she was a little hurt I didn't ask her but understood why I didn't. They will figure it out on their own and they will be upset either way.

I honestly try to figure out why people have to make so much drama around things. Not being in your wedding will not be the end of the world for anyone. You don’t have to explain why to anyone about anything. Don’t pick her and move on. If you are that worried about her feelings pick her and move on. Stop dwelling on it.

I'd like to say I found this so helpful. I was feeling bad about not asking a few friends. Thanks ladies!!

I would just have a response in mind IF they question why they are not in the BP. I would not purposely tell someone that they are not.

You don't call people and warn them that you are proposing this weekend (hypothetical) and sorry, they didn't make the cut. You wait for them to approach you. If they are hurt and mature enough (not sure why people feel hurt about these things, but each with their own) they will approach you and ask why, then you give them your true reasons and everyone moves on.

I am having a DW in May of next year, and we are only asking BP next month. However, I have picked a dress that is not expensive and can be bought from the rack, and the guys suit is also easy, so no complicated dresses to order 8 months out - with that said, try to always figure out the logistics ahead of time, and wait as long as you can to involve others, if you don't understand why, keep lurking here. We're not google, we're real brides/grooms seeing and living the experience right here and right now. You may not agree with everyone, or any of us sometimes, but we are trying to help each other.

Eta: spelling

Don't put the pressure of telling them in advance on yourself. When everyone else gets their bm proposal they will realize it then. As you've stated you had to draw the line somewhere. Also, in regards to the bm proposals I gave my bridal party boxes ... it's a matter of preference on this board and many ppl think they're unnecessary, try not to take it personal