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MrsD
Legend July 2019

Tell Me Your Crazy Vendor Stories!

MrsD, on May 30, 2019 at 12:02 PM

Posted in Planning 30

Did you have any crazy vendor stories? Either one you hired or one you just talked to in the early stages of planning? Share them with me! My story involves officiants. I had no idea it would be so hard to decide on one. We went back & forth on asking a groomsmen, and ended up asking one. He was...

Did you have any crazy vendor stories? Either one you hired or one you just talked to in the early stages of planning? Share them with me!

My story involves officiants. I had no idea it would be so hard to decide on one. We went back & forth on asking a groomsmen, and ended up asking one. He was so honored & happy, until his wife told him "you'll embarrass them and yourself, I won't go if you do it". What?! His wife literally said that. So we totally understood, his confidence was shot and he obviously didn't want to do it anymore, and choose to go on vendor search. By the way, he RSVPed recently and his wife STILL ISN'T GOING. So regardless, she wasn't going to go. She "doesn't like people" which I can't believe is an actual sentence that came out of an adult's mouth.

So I talked to about 15 officiants, I was super picky in what we wanted & had already wrote a rough draft of the entire script assuming the groomsmen would do it. I wanted the professional to read it & understand the feeling we were going for, even if they changed the script. My fiance and I worked on it for over a month so it was pretty much the tone & length & right amount of religion for us. On TWO separate occasions, we had officiants ("professionals") refuse to sign contracts. One had the nerve to say "We aren't a 'vendor', we are doing this for God." but then still require a deposit and payment, with no contract whatsoever. It was the dumbest thing I had ever heard. The second got offended I wanted them to sign the contract, not just us. Without them signing it, it isn't legally binding! Our coordinator (who also did vendor contract review) was floored by both and said she had never even heard of that before. I must have just had back luck!

We finally found one, a pastor that does weddings on the side, but doesn't have a huge business from just doing weddings & not being involved in a church at all. He was so kind and even laughed on the phone when I explained what the two other officiants did. He sent us his own contract he requires both parties to sign (which put us at ease even more), and he charged LESS than the other two that didn't want to sign contracts. He had great reviews, we actually found him on Thumbtack, and we meet in person this Saturday to discuss our ceremony.

In the end, we found the officiant meant for us and that fit us the best. But still, it was a crazy journey that took over 12 months to complete. Out of all our vendors, officiant was by far the hardest to find!

30 Comments

  • Erin
    Devoted June 2019
    Erin ·
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    :::sigh::: I am currently going through it with my vendor's owner smh. So... our ceremony, cocktail hour, and reception are in the same location but in two different buildings/spaces, right? Well, the people who owned the land are no longer business partners and both want this property.

    It is a nasty, messy, disaster and my wedding is in the middle of it. Now, the courts have stepped in and put up an injunction stating NO ONE can use the property until they come to an agreement. My wedding is 28 days away and I can't do anything about it.

    My awesome wedding planner has already come up with a plan B, but that plan B is an extra 10k and I don't know what we're gonna do. Scream, Cry, Yell? Didn't do a damn thing for me.

    I did eat my feelings yesterday, but I had cauliflower pizza lol. I'm upset but I'm not crazy. I worked too hard on my body to blow it all to hell now, even if that's truly what I want to do.

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  • Stephanie
    Expert September 2019
    Stephanie ·
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    I haven’t had anything too major, yet, lol. We met with a DOC, who we had talked to a couple times on the phone and, while we didn’t sign a contract that day (it was Friday), she was going to do a couple things over the weekend for us and we would sign the contract/pay the deposit on Monday. Monday morning she called and said she had decided she wasn’t taking anymore clients this year. We found out that our caterering company also does wedding planning, so we went with them and they have been fantastic.


    I hired my priest back in February. He’s a close family friend and who I have always wanted to officiate my wedding. Anyway, he just emailed me saying he is moving out of state for a new job and is unable to get my wedding date off. After going through a list of alternates, I finally found someone that is free who I like. Thankfully my mom is also a priest, so she was able to give options of who she knew we would like.


    I hired my makeup artist (separate hair and makeup people) back in December, she just emailed me a week before my trial, that she just had emergency open heart surgery and couldn’t guarantee she would be back to work by our wedding date and had to pull out. Sucks, since I was super excited for her, but so glad she told me know. Anyway, I had the hardest time finding a replacement. I contacted close to 20 and either never heard back, or they were booked. I even had a couple tell me I was ridiculous for not looking sooner (they were obviously more understanding when I explained my situation to them). I was feeling very discouraged, but my hair stylist had a good friend who is free and offered and she is cheaper than everyone else I looked at, so that ended up working out very well.

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    Oh no! I'm so sorry! I can't imagine. That's awesome your planner already has a plan B, bu that's not fair to you at all!

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    Oh my goodness! It sounds like you've had several trials during wedding planning haha! I'm glad you ended up finding great vendors for each though!

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  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
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    I've got 2 so far. (I hope that this is the end of it.)

    1. FFIL was very happy to help us venue search, but he wanted to look at non-traditional spaces in the city. He pulled his own strings, and found a church basement that he was assured was being renovated and would be ready in 6 months. Then, FFIL couldn't go the day FH, FMIL, and I were free.

    We get to the church. The woman giving the tour leads us through the back way, down a freaky stairwell, and into the basement. Well. The catering area is a bunch of old, splintery desks/tables cobbled together, with no visible way of hiding it from the main area. The person in charge of renovating (the church's priest, whom we never met), clearly cannot focus on one project, and skips from one to the other (the tour guide complained about this). Old doors are set up as a wall to block the bathroom, but the wall is only half built. The mezzanine balustrades are only halfway done, and are not likely to be done before our wedding, so it is unusable. The floor is plain concrete, and they say we have to rent in a dance floor. The tables are absolute horror shows of old folding tables, and the chairs are metal folding chairs. They have a restricted alcohol policy, only offer the space for a VERY limited time on Saturdays (and this includes load-in and load-out). And this is just the stuff I remember. I didn't even take pictures, it was such a horror show.
    The cherry on top of all this?

    The tour guide starts absolutely RIPPING on "millennials" and how "they just drink and party" and "aren't responsible".
    FH and I are BOTH *visibly* millennials... if you know that millennials are 25ish-38ish. If you don't... well, congrats, you just badmouthed the generation you're selling to... on top of showing off a space that can't possibly be safe.

    2. The priest from FH's own home church.

    We first contacted him last August as we prepared to get engaged. We tried to keep up a dialogue with him after we got engaged. We went to weekend precana. We expressed our problems with this precana. We attempted to keep talking to priest to make this work. He avoided us for weeks, and then, with 3 1/2 months to go, denied us permission to marry in the church. In a 20 minute meeting. Without talking to us about it or explaining why. (Thank goodness I had resisted FH's assurances that we could order invites.)

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    OMG! That is crazy. I'm glad you toured it before booking it. I can't believe they were even trying to rent it at all like that?

    I'm so sorry you can't be married in his church, that's insane! So did you find another venue and officiant?

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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    We go to a church that is one large ground for multiple congregations. there is one main pastor. let's call him Pastor D. i reached out to him to inquire about a wedding there and the protocol. he was initially okay in response like maybe takes a week to reply. but then it got so bad... i sent five emails and he didn't reply to any of them [the five emails were spanned within a time frame of a few months or so, that is and consisted of follow ups and more questions i came up with]. so eventually i gave up and told my fiance to try to contact him... well HE WAS SURE RESPONSIVE TO MY FIANCE THAN ME. it kind of angered me because it felt like he was neglecting me. we did go to actually see him in person a few times but there were things he said he would email me and obviously.. he never did. all in all, everything worked out, we got connected to a far more responsive church elder. i joke that maybe Pastor D stopped replying to me because i kept asking for a discount AHAHA.
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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    That is super weird! I'm glad you went with someone else, it's not a good sign when vendors don't respond to you from the get-go!

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  • Keeya
    Dedicated August 2019
    Keeya ·
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    Right before I told her we booked another photographer, she actually found me on Instagram and commented on one of my photos of my fiancé and I. Then she emailed me again and said she would finally get us the contract. But I just did not trust it anymore. In the end all is well that ends well!


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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    Ugh, how random! It for sure sounds like you did the right thing.

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