A
Beginner June 2021

Talking baby

Alex, on February 4, 2021 at 10:53 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 25
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I am getting married June5th 2021. My fiance and I are very eager to have a baby and are considering trying before the wedding. I am very picky about birthdays since I have a January bday and it sucks!! If we try now, i’ll be out of my first trimester by June and we would have a halloween baby. If we wait till June i’ll have the baby in March (original plan). He thinks May but I have a feeling I would be sick during wedding. Our hesitation for trying now is, me not being able to drink at bachelorette and bridal shower in may. Having to hide that im not drinking! Also, ive asked some friends what they think of pregnant brides and the response was not good. Im curious if anyone has been through this and if they have suggestions and advice! Halloween or spring baby? What do you all think?

25 Comments

Latest activity by Shakiyla, on February 8, 2021 at 6:53 AM
  • SHY
    VIP January 2022
    SHY ·
    • Flag

    If it was me, I'd wait until after the wedding to start trying for a baby!

    You'll have so much going on from now up to your wedding day, that (possibly) being pregnant would just add another stress (not that being pregnant is bad!) onto you. Plus, like you mentioned, you'll have to hide the fact that you are pregnant from those closest to you. You can def. have fun without alcohol, but I feel like being pregnant during your bach party, might be a little much for you as well.

    I just personally like to take things one at a time, so that's why I say wait until after the wedding!

    • Reply
  • Biaani
    Expert May 2021
    Biaani ·
    • Flag

    You're almost there, just wait a little. Enjoy every stage of your relationship. You'll have plenty time for babies.

    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    I would also try after. My best friend and her husband were eager to have a family and they just decided to try after the wedding just because there is a lot going on with wedding planning and I feel like I would rather just enjoy the time with my future husband
    • Reply
  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
    • Flag
    I agree to wait. My friend was pregnant before her wedding and then lost the baby. She was still really affected by the loss at her wedding, which should be a happy time.
    • Reply
  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag

    My husband and I had the same discussion before we got married. He really wanted to start trying a couple months before the wedding, but we ultimately decided to wait. I didn't want to stop my birth control months before the wedding because I would have no way of knowing when my period would come because it was always unpredictable before I went on birth control and if I would've gotten pregnant I didn't want to be sick at my wedding. I took the last of my birth control the week before my wedding as that was when the pack ended. I am currently pregnant with our first child. It took us almost a year exactly for me to get pregnant, but that was because I had unexpected fertility issues. While every pregnancy is different, I can't imagine what it would've been like getting married during my first trimester. I got lucky and didn't really have morning sickness, but I did have a UTI (pretty common during pregnancy) so I had to use the bathroom constantly until it went away. I also hated food and drinks I previously really liked. For example, we had my dad's birthday party when I was around 8 weeks and my grandmother made deviled eggs as soon as she opened them I thought I was going to be sick. She ended up taking them outside because the smell bothered me so much. I also hated lemonade which is normally one of the few drinks I actually like. I don't drink alcohol so I didn't have to find not drinking from anyone, but since you do drink alcohol, I think you'd have a difficult time hiding it from your friends and family unless they are completely oblivious.

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  • Katie
    VIP August 2021
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    We are also eager to have a baby. However we are holding off until after the wedding is done. I don't want to sneak around trying my best to hide the fact that I'm pregnant before the wedding. I don't want to risk gaining to much weight before the wedding and then not fit into my dress. And I want to enjoy all my wedding stuff and drink as much as I want without and unborn baby ruining my plans. Plus as you mentioned having morning sickness. Plus the stress from the wedding isn't good for the baby. I suggest waiting until right after the wedding
    • Reply
  • Dj Tanner
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
    • Flag
    This is where we are at too. We talk about it all the time and we can’t wait. We are going to start trying right after the wedding. Like that night Haha. My dress is pretty fitted and I do want to have a few drinks on my wedding day so I definitely won’t be getting pregnant before that. My wedding is at the beginning of June as well. Think about it, it’s just a few months away. Use these next few months as a way to get into the best shape of your life and prepare your body for pregnancy! After everything that’s been happening with Covid the last thing you want is to be sick during your wedding.
    • Reply
  • Karla
    Super February 2020
    Karla ·
    • Flag
    I suggest waiting until after the wedding.


    My husband and I got married last February and decided we would start trying after his sister’s wedding in October since we were both in it and wanted to fit in our dress/tux as well as be able to drink.
    We also thought since we’re older (32 and 34), it would take us a bit longer to get pregnant and hopefully just get a lot of practice in and still be able to go on our covid-delayed honeymoon for our first anniversary. Well we got pregnant the first month we started trying and I’ve had a horrible first trimester (though everyone’s experience is different). I’ve been so fatigued/tired, nauseous, bloated, and every day for the past three months I have had a pounding headache that will last for 6-8 hours. Even if covid wasn’t preventing us from traveling/taking our honeymoon, there was no way I could have even gone on it. Even now that I’m officially in my second trimester and my symptoms are starting to ease up, I still wouldn’t want to travel in this condition. I couldn’t imagine being in my first trimester during the tail end of wedding planning and my actual wedding.
    Also something to think about— have you already ordered your dress? Most women don’t start showing and gaining weight until later in the pregnancy so it may not effect them fitting into their dress. However, I still got quite a bit of pregnancy bloat that first trimester that probably would have prevented me from fitting in my dress. My sister-in-law who is typically very small and petite (around 90 lbs and 5’1”) is currently pregnant as well. She’s only 10 weeks and she already has a little bump due to bloat. So just something to think about whether you’ll be able to take out your dress and by how much.
    • Reply
  • CountryBride
    Super April 2022
    CountryBride ·
    • Flag

    I hear what your saying I am a mother of 8 and here are some things to think about

    1. If you get pregnant in June you will have a February, I got pregnant with 2 of my boys in July and they were both due in March and came in March,

    2. everyone shows differently but if you were trying now you would have a pregnant belly by the time your wedding was here and would need alterations, You would need to watch what you eat during your reception seafood and undercooked meat is frowned upon as well as you couldn't drink. and you have to pee constantly I had morning sickness til 25 weeks but everyone is differently, I suggest waiting until after your wedding and if you want a march baby try in late June early July

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  • Karla
    Super February 2020
    Karla ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    She might have a later period in June which would push her into a March due date. Technically, even if her period started June 1, her 40 weeks wouldn’t be until March 8, 2022. So the few ways she would have a February due date is if she has her period early in the month, delivers early, and/or ovulates earlier than most. I’m assuming she’s already calculated these due date months based on her LMP.
    • Reply
  • Devoted June 2021
    ·
    • Flag
    June 4, 2021 bride here and fiancé and I have been having crazy intense baby fever. We agreed to stay trying after the wedding, maybe august or September. I’d like a summer or late spring baby. My bday is Christmas Eve and it sucks, Christmas steals my shine all the time lol that and I have to always worry about getting everyones gifts in time. So I’m always stressed on my bday- not fun. But I think whenever you and your fh want to start trying you try. Your friends opinions of it shouldn’t be a factor. Plus ttc can take a while or it can happen quickly. So choosing the month of birth can be tricky depending on that. Good luck all in all
    • Reply
  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
    • Flag
    Be patient abd wait. My birthday is in January and I hate it too lol. I'm getting married in April and we definitely want to prevent pregnancy during our wedding night lol
    • Reply
  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna ·
    • Flag

    IMO there is never a perfect time to have kids and it's really a personal decision. If I could turn the clock backward, then my husband and I definitely would have started trying to conceive before our wedding. 1 out of 8 couples struggle with unexplained infertility issues, and I had no idea that we would be one of them since we're healthy and I'm under 30. For most women under 35, insurance doesn't start to cover infertility benefits or even diagnostic testing until you've been trying to conceive for a full calendar year. A baby is a gift no matter what the season, and timing is not always something you can control. But if you want to play it safe, then I'd probably recommend starting to try for a baby right after your wedding.

    • Reply
  • Dana
    Savvy October 2021
    Dana ·
    • Flag
    Would definitely suggest waiting til after. You don't want the kind of stress involved with weddings to interfere with enjoying your pregnancy.
    • Reply
  • A
    Super September 2020
    Alli ·
    • Flag
    I would have a serious talk with your significant other about pregnancy... ultimately it’s up to you two! I would never let my friends or family dictate when I bring a baby into this world; so I wouldn’t try to hide it (which would be hard and obvious anyways if they expect you to drink). As far as planning a wedding and being pregnant, I don’t see an issue with this at all... Thankfully, I am one of those women who have absolutely no symptoms and nobody would be able to tell at my wedding up until at least 20 weeks (other than no drinking...). It is hard to say though. I’ve had friends who could not function or get out of bed for weeks in all trimesters. Best wishes 🤍
    • Reply
  • MLS
    Dedicated September 2021
    MLS ·
    • Flag
    I want to try now, I am feeling so impatient. So I totally feel you. I am taking my iud out right after the wedding. If I can coordinator right I really want a September baby (Virgo baby!).
    You want to be able to enjoy your wedding, not just drinking but you'll be extra tired and having various physical and emotional symptoms. You're so close, I would wait it out.
    • Reply
  • A
    Expert September 2020
    Amanda ·
    • Flag
    I’m really surprised more people haven’t said this, but you’re very fortunate if you do get pregnant at the time you plan. I certainly hope that’s the case for you! For many, it can take a lot of trying. I would focus on a healthy baby coming when it’s supposed to in an environment that’s ready for it - trying to focus on a birth month you will soon find out is one of many many things you cannot control with pregnancy.
    • Reply
  • Katie
    VIP August 2021
    Katie ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    This is so true! Well said 👏👏👏
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  • Meaghan
    Savvy July 2022
    Meaghan ·
    • Flag

    I just want to jump in and say, please do not plan what month you want your baby to be born. You could get pregnant the first time you have unprotected sex, or it could take six months. Your baby could come early or late. There is absolutely no way to say, "we are going to have sex on this date, get instantly pregnant, and our baby will arrive on this date." Please, for your own sanity, let this idea that you can pick the birth month fade away.

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  • Meaghan
    Savvy July 2022
    Meaghan ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Yes! I just wrote this too. Its both cute and absurd to think someone can pick the exact month a baby will be born. Most people are lucky if they get the season they prefer!

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