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Savvy September 2016

Surprised by guests not coming?

bridget, on August 30, 2016 at 10:10 AM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 26

Hi everyone! So there are people not coming to the wedding who we expected to come. It's actually a small relief to me, because it cuts costs down, but my FH is a little hurt by some of the people not coming. Some are his very close friends who he's known for several years, but they can't take off...

Hi everyone!

So there are people not coming to the wedding who we expected to come. It's actually a small relief to me, because it cuts costs down, but my FH is a little hurt by some of the people not coming. Some are his very close friends who he's known for several years, but they can't take off work, planned something else that weekend, etc. We are very appreciative of those who are coming, and all of our guests are very important to us. But I know my FH is a little sad that certain close friends aren't taking the time out for this important day for us.

Is this a common thing and we're being sensitive, or as anyone else had close friends/family not come to the wedding? And how were you affected by it?

P.s., this is a wedding with invites sent out at the normal time, not a particularly casual affair, but it does require travel from some of the guests

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26 Comments

  • MrsKristenS
    Master August 2016
    MrsKristenS ·
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    I went through this. We invited 209 guests and only 159 RSVPd. Then, we had 5 cancel last minute and 4 people not show, so we had 149 our of 209 attend. 29% decline. Yikes. This wasn't a Mexico destination wedding either.

    I was a little sad by a couple close friends canceling, but I got over it. The people who come are what is really important!!! Plus, we ended up adding 1K more to over consumption bar to keep it open until midnight, so it was a blessing in disguise that we didn't have more people! Our friends and family can DRINK! Smiley smile (Don't worry, we paid all 6K of the bar bill)

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  • GymRat
    Master May 2017
    GymRat ·
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    Oh I see what you're saying.

    But still doesn't matter.

    Maybe they have to work? Maybe they just don't feel like it? I think your FH has a right to be sad about it, but there's nothing that can be done and dwelling on it won't change anything.

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  • Cynthia
    Super October 2016
    Cynthia ·
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    It's strange FH and I was having the same conversation last night. It appears most of the declines are from my guest. I know my wedding is a Thursday, and some excuses are medical and financial reasons so I understand their declines - but it still hurts especially for those that "just can't make it". But I am finding comfort in knowing "those that need to be there will be there, and at the end of it all I will be married to the love of my life".

    There will always be a reason for people to decline - just accept it and move on.

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  • Caitlin
    Master July 2017
    Caitlin ·
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    I'm sure we will have some but that's why as soon as we made the date we made sure to text or verbally tell our VIPs to make sure they were aware.

    But we do know things come up. We had RSVP'd to FH's cousin's wedding and planned on going until 2.5 weeks before when FH had mandatory training come up for a class he is teaching and since the wedding was on a Friday we could no longer go.

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  • hearts
    Devoted October 2015
    hearts ·
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    I had a few people who declined that I was quite sad about. On the day of the wedding you are going to be so preoccupied with who IS there that you won't think about the people that are not! Take a moment to be sad, but don't dwell on it or let it take away from your wedding!

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  • B
    Savvy September 2016
    bridget ·
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    Thanks so much for the support and encouraging words, ladies!

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