Super religious parents...

Yes. We are not very religious. I believe and go to church my fh does not. Everyone wanted us married in a church and my pastor declined marrying us because of my fh non attendance. So we are getting married at our venue and having a non religious ceremony with a officiant. In todays society religion has nothing to do with marriage really it's about the love you share and that's all that matters. Keep firm in what makes you happy. Your mom will have to get over it not to sound rude.

My mom has in recent years gotten more religious and that's okay. It works for her and I understand your struggle. However, it's your day and you aren't flaunting your atheism so I say do what you want.

After having issues with my church, we have decided to get married at our venue. Me and my family always thought I would do my wedding ceremony at a church, but life happens and you just have to do what feels right and is right for you. It is your wedding day and you must do what makes you happy, I am sure your mom would understand.

I'd just find a non-religious ceremony script and tweak it however you'd like. I don't think she will ruin your day..and honestly, of all the weddings I have been to - I don't remember what was said during the ceremony. I don't remember if they said 15 Bible verses or none. You do you!

FH family is very religious, both he & I are Catholics, but don't to mass much, also I had a very specific wedding vision that did not involve a church ceremony. We met with the priest at my FH family church, and he was very welcoming, and accommodating. He is on the younger side, and said that the Catholic church was trying to be more accepting (I don't know if this is true on not). But we are able to do a short Catholic ceremony the morning before the wedding, that will just have our parents, and the MOH & Best Man there (my parents are also catholic, and were on board w/ this), and then we are having the big ceremony the next day. The Priest will sign our wedding license. FH parents are paying for the catholic portion, and we are paying for the non-Catholic ceremony.

The Priest already petition the Archdioceses on our behalf, and they approved.

Again, all Priest & Parishes are different. We originally asked the Parish that we live in, and the Pastor is older, and very set in his ways.

FH and I both aren't all that religious. My parents are. We decided that we would have a family friend marry us and that he can reference God and it being a holy matrimony but we want the main focus to be on us and our love.

It was important to me to honor the religious side of the wedding because of my family and background (and the fact that I do believe in God).

Basically, this is a long winded way to say you have to do what you have to do. If you both don't believe, then don't involve religion. If you don't believe but still want to honor a part of religion, then maybe have a small something said about God in your ceremony but make sure the focus stays on you and FH's relationship and love. People will always judge one way or another and at the end of the day you have to have the ceremony you genuinely want

If youre mature enough to get married, you’re mature enough to disclose your religious beliefs to your family and decide what kind of wedding ceremony you want. I would have a chat with your parents beforehand so they know what to expect and you can deal with any pushback before the actual event.

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I understand what you're saying, but "coming-out-atheist" is actually a pretty big deal, especially with family members who won't understand.

My FH and I are not religious either. I don't intend on including anything about God or scripture because why would I? I feel like it would feel fake and honestly I don't want to be rolling my eyes at the alter bc I included something that means nothing to me at all. I don't agree that you NEED to disclose your religious beliefs to your family. I never talk about mine with my parents because it would always and forever be a fight and because I am mature enough to know that - I save my mom the worry about my soul burning for eternity lol

I can only suggest to you what I plan on doing - not talking about those parts of my wedding.. after the ceremony if my mom brings it up, I will just be like "Wow, you're right! I didn't even notice there was nothing included - oh, I think we're needed for pics!" and move on. It's my wedding and I am an adult. I hope you find a good way to navigate this. All I can say is don't do anything you don't want to do. If including something for your mom doesn't sit well with you - don't. It's your day.

View Quoted Comment As a lesbian from a baptist family with a FW from a catholic family, I understand how big of a deal it is. Some things in life aren’t easy. You have to live your own truth and, seeing as how this is one of the biggest events of your life, it’s important that you don’t alter your ceremony to fit someone else’s vision. It’s also important that they know things like this now in case you decide to have children and your parents try to push their beliefs onto them.

Some of my family is VERY religious and some have moved more away from the church. I am a confirmed Catholic but really only did it so my grandmother wouldn't have a heart attack. After that, I promised myself I would never do something like that again, including getting married in the church. I have no issue with people who are religious but its just not for me and I have no problem making my objections known. That being said, we are having a friend get ordained with the "United Church of Bacon" (look it up if you want, but religious people won't like the description - fair warning). We told my mom and decided that outside of our friend and her, no one needs to know (including my dad) and "we don't need to flaunt our objections to religion" which makes me laugh because its acceptable to flaunt religious beliefs but not a lack there of...but okay.

To me, adding religious elements to my ceremony would be insincere of me and really I feel like it would be, and even should be, offensive to those who are genuinely religious to use it just to keep peace. I think anyone who would rather have you "pretend" for the day rather than maintain your truth are only religious for status, and not for any true belief, but that's just my experience.

Your wedding ceremony, your choice.

I'm agnostic. I'm getting married in nature, which feels spiritual enough for me. My SO is an athiest so no mention of God in our ceremony.

Our ceremony will be about our love for one another here and now. I don't wanna think about what comes after this life lol. Vows really do call our beliefs into question. While I was reading through sample ceremonies, they are all worded so differently and it got my fiance and I talking about some of the different phrasing. "Till death do us part", or verbage like "soul mates/eternal love". The vows can be tailored to your liking and should feel free and natural to say. I'd be uncomfortable in a religious ceremony making vows to my partner if the spirit of the vows didn't jive with my personal beliefs.

Do what feels comfortable for you and your partner. It's the foundation of *your* marriage. I'm sure your mother will think it's a lovely ceremony. Afterall, she has a respectful daughter who is concerned about her feelings. I think that's awesome. Maybe have a convo with her sometime beforehand so that she knows you are athiest.

I am agnostic and FH is athiest so no mention of God or religion will be in ours! His uncle is marrying us (father figure) and is also no religious. My mom and her side of the family is however christian and I have explained to her many times my views, although she doesn't agree she at least knows not to expect her views in it. I would definately tell ypur parents before the wedding so they have tome to take it in, think and be aware/ok enough the time of. My mom knows it's my choice and accepts that but constantly talks about god and how she is sad he wont be part of my wedding but I just ignore and change topics! Goodluck!

The only person who can truly decide this is you, as you know your mom best. Some people do not act react well to surprises, while others need time to process their reactions to surprising information. If you feel that your mom would react badly on your wedding day, potentially ruining it or creating a bad memory for you of the day, I would suggest having the hard conversation now. Be respectful and honest, and hopefully she will have the ability to get over it by the time your wedding happens. If you truly don’t want to tell her, and also don’t want to upset her, then you might have to include some religious thing is you don’t want to in your ceremony. It’s ultimately up to you which path you want to take, but I would suggest to being honest and authentic with both your Ceremony and your family.

Well, you need to talk to your family about your religious choices.

If there ends up being a really huge issue to the point where you think your wedding day will be ruined in some way then...elope and do it your way.

Not trying to convert you but maybe that dream was God trying to tell you something. He is very Real.

View Quoted Comment Pretty sure she specifically said she wasn't looking for anyone to convert her.
Your truth isn't everyone else's truth - respect the OP and keep opinions that don't have to do with dealing with her issue to yourself.

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Pretty sure I stated I'm not trying to convert her, and my truth doesn't have to be her truth.

I come from a super religious/traditional Hispanic family. I (sort of) came out as an atheist a few years ago to my mom, but she's not really accepting or understanding. So she thinks the wedding is going to bring me closer to Jesus or whatever. Unless he is the officiant or the DJ, there will be no Jesus at my wedding. But my poor sweet Abuelita doesn't know and I'm sure it will kill her.

I feel ya.

Just remember it's your day. The start to your marriage. It's about you. Be strong and just keep being civil.