**Suggestions for a reception with drinkers AND non drinkers!! HELP!!**

Yeah that is a good idea Crystal. I was thinking maybe even putting it on the invitation that cake and punch starts at so and so time and dinner, drinks, and dancing at this time

Two receptions? It's a huge milestone event in YOUR life, and you're considering impossible logistics because some of your guests still haven't realized that they only have the right to call the shots in their own lives?

You do exactly what YOU want to do. When the non-drinkers got married and planned their own weddings, I assume they did exactly what they wanted to do (despite the fact that there might have been a drinker or two in attendance who would have actually paid for a drink, if it was available).

Start now. This is the perfect time to live according to your own conscience and heart. If guests don't like it, well, they don't like it.

Do what satisfies you and your man, not family.

I wish I could say they would all leave before it's all over but my parents will definitely stay the whole time to clean up and all that ya know? I guess we could just set up ice chests full of different kinds of beer and not let anyone get into them until a certain time. And not let the reception go too long so people don't have enough time to get completely wasted!!

I previously suggested making it known to your family that you are going to be offering an "open bar" of soda, water, tea, coffee etc. Maybe throw in a signature drink for them in a non alcoholic version (I swear I've seen a few that can flip flop between booze & no booze and they taste great both ways)

There are a ton of ways to accomodate your guests drinking preferences - due to those certain people who don't want to drink alcohol at my wedding, we decided to skip the champagne toast and allow people to toast with the drink in front of them.

@Erika, I believe we are in the same boat. Im Baptist but I have an occasional drink every now and then, no big deal. My mom and friends however are very much against it. My mom is more understanding than the friends if you can believe that!! I have 2 people in the wedding party that do not want to be around alcohol. I have informed them the reception hall has a bar and it will be a cash bar so if people want it, its there. I think they will stay for dinner but leave before the dance. Which is totally fine by me.

Feeling guilty is not the way I want to celebrate my marriage. And after all, it's Jesus I have to answer to, not my friends or mom or even my pastor.

Erika - My fiance is also a Baptist and is more conservative than I am. He is not a fan of people being drunk either. We don't really go to bars -- UNLESS it is a special occasion. In other words, if it's someone's birthday we'll go buy them a drink and stay long enough to hang out a little bit.

My honest opinion - And without knowing much about your reception (is it on a Saturday evening, etc.) - Is that I think you're overthinking this. I loved a PPs suggestion that cocktail hour is fun non-alcoholic drinks and that drinks will be served after dinner (if that is something YOU AND YOUR FIANCE) want to do rather than keeping everything completely separate. This allows everyone to celebrate together and if your family wants to stay, they can! I would assume that some folks in your family are more conservative than others just like some are more conservative than you :-) Let them decide what they are or aren't comfortable with. I really think this will make things A LOT easier on you

Yes Leslie we are on the same page!

And no we will not have a caterer with a janitorial service. We are broke so just kindof doing it all ourself! I will just have to do my best to keep the drinkers away from the non and hope for the best outcome possible

Have a bar. Offer jars/punchbowls/carafes of lemonade etc for those who don't drink.

I don't really understand how the bar question becomes such an issue at so many weddings. There is so much more to the day than that. No couple should feel the pressure by anyone to change their style.

It would never occur to me that it's my place to dictate drinks, food, music or anything else at an event that I'm invited to as a guest.

1) I wouldn't push the alcohol too late. If the partiers in your group may go overboard, you may want to leave some time at the end to try and limit any effects on driving. (Not sure if this is a concern, but something to think about!)

2) Like someone else said, have a signature cocktail AND mocktail.

3) You could always set some kind of limit somehow if needed. Either the amount available, the hours it's open, or something like that. Perhaps even tell the servers to allow free wine at dinner, but other than that it's a cash bar?

4) For the toast, you could have both champange and sparkling cider.

I know many who do an after party... maybe instead of two receptions have ONE and then an after party after (sorry if that's a repeat I didn't read all the replies).

"Instead of just telling me my family needs to get over it, how about giving me ideas on how we could go about having drinks and also respecting the non drinkers? Ways to accommodate both sides. "

Erika, there isn't any way to 'accommodate' both sides. You either have alcohol or you don't. There isn't some kind of grey area on this issue. Even if you only offered the alcohol at certain times, you are still having it. As you said your parents will be around the whole time.

All these other ideas offered are great in terms of LIMITING the amount of alcohol...but that means there is still alcohol.

I'm not trying to bring you down here...just pointing out the reality of the situation.

Hi Erika,

I feel your pain! My family is super conservative while my FH's enjoys having a drink or two at events such as a wedding. Though it was debatable, my FH and I decided against having alcohol at our wedding altogether. Not only does it much more cost efficient for us to just serve punch and lemonade, but we will not have to worry about having family members get in a confrontation with one another over those that are drinking (and perhaps acting a bit more intoxicated throughout the night) versus those who are not. I guess we decided to just pick our battle and sacrifice not having alcohol to avoid confrontation whatsoever. Overall though, it is your wedding, and whatever you and FH decide I am sure everyone will support

Thank you Jaz it's nice to hear from someone in the same boat! Some people don't understand. It's seriously not as easy as it sounds to just do what we want to. It's the fact that we have respect for our elders and care if they think badly about us.

Thank you Jaz it's nice to hear from someone in the same boat! Some people don't understand. It's seriously not as easy as it sounds to just do what we want to. It's the fact that we have respect for our elders and care if they think badly about us.

I shared this with my FH and he pointed out something important - who is paying for the wedding? If it's all or mostly your parents, then I would show my thanks by excluding alcohol altogether.

If they are paying for only some part or less, then I stand by my original thoughts.

My fiance and I are both in recovery so neither of us drink at all. Both of our families drink (some family members much more then others). However, a lot of our guest we know through recovery so about half the people attending will not be drinking. I had a hard time figuring out what to do. What we have decided is to have a cash bar which will have beer and wine only. I feel like the people who have traveled to my wedding should be able to have a drink if they wish. I plan to do my best in keeping the drinkers and the non drinkers at their own tables so everyone is comfortable.

FH's family like to have a drink and some of mine do and some guests do not approve of drinking but we are having both a alcohol bar and a non alcohol bar so everyone can have something

I was in a wedding where there were two sides (drinking versus non drinking). As I recall, they had the tables kind of separated into the drinking crowd and the non drinking crowd. They supplied sparkling cider for the non drinking tables and wine/champagne for the drinking tables (bottles were actually placed on the tables) This way, the tables all looked the same and when it was time for toasts, etc, everyone had something they could drink. It also acknowledged the non drinkers feelings were taken into account because it shows that you thought about them by providing them with an alternative. The bar only had wine and other soft drinks as I recall.

It worked pretty well for the bride (whose family was on the non drinking side) but you have to be able to place guest at either a "wine" table or a "sparkling cider" table.