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Kt
Dedicated October 2018

Substitute bridesmaid?

Kt, on November 24, 2016 at 10:26 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 48

Ok so my sister lives in Kansas. She might not be able to make it due to financial reasons come time to stand up in my wedding. Of course I want her to be in it but I want only 5 bridesmaids. Would it be awful to explain this to my one friend and ask her to be a fill in for my sister is she can't...

Ok so my sister lives in Kansas. She might not be able to make it due to financial reasons come time to stand up in my wedding. Of course I want her to be in it but I want only 5 bridesmaids. Would it be awful to explain this to my one friend and ask her to be a fill in for my sister is she can't make it? It's in 2018 so I know I have time. I just know that she's supporting 5 people and that even the cost to drive would be to much. Would it be really bad or tacky to tell my gf this? I'm only having my 2 closest long time friends, my sister (hopefully) my soon to be step daughter and my niece. My gf that I want to maybe sub I haven't known as long even tho we are really close. I just don't know what to do. Please help!

48 Comments

  • OGJessieJV
    Master July 1867
    OGJessieJV ·
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    Wow, this was entertaining this morning. Thanks OP.

    Just food for thought: Another BM and I were friends with a bride for over 20 years until her wedding. She was such a bitch and Bridezilla to us that we didn't end up speaking to her after the wedding. Years of friendship doesn't mean anything if you treat your nearest and dearest poorly during your wedding.

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  • Fabiola
    Expert June 2017
    Fabiola ·
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    Pretty entertaining for a Friday morning. No you can't have a bridesmaid substitute in case your sister can't make it. Two years seems like a reasonable time for her to make accommodations.

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  • Sarah
    Expert October 2017
    Sarah ·
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    Ya I have been a stand in before. It's a lot better to just keep who you have that's close to you. Why do you have to have 5? Just because there are five groomsmen? Nah you'll figure it out!

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  • N
    Master December 2016
    Nancy ·
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    Fill in bridesmaid? Do not even consider this.

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  • FJB
    Dedicated June 2017
    FJB ·
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    Imagine how you'd feel if someone asked you to do that

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  • Abbi
    Super March 2018
    Abbi ·
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    I'm done.. The fact that you even debated this being okay. This is wrong and mean. If someone did this to me I would never speak to them again. Your going make your friend feel like second best. She is only good enough if your sister cant come..... Just no.

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  • CMC
    Master November 2016
    CMC ·
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    Yeah no that is NOT okay.

    Also, I don't know that details of your situation, but if my sister couldn't make it to my wedding because of financial reasons, I would try to help her out (she does have quite awhile to save though).

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  • Nikol
    VIP December 2017
    Nikol ·
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    You shouldn't have asked anyone yet. Way too early and you'll probably have some problems down the road. This is tack AF, and your sister has 2 years to save.

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