Strippers

@Beklynn. To be clear, I would be grossed out by that type of exposed skin contact with some random guy/girl at a bar too. That would also make me imagine the mucinex bugs lol. You really never know who has ringworm or jock itch or thrush or herpes.

We discussed this and agree that we are way past anything like that in our lives. (we are both in our 40's) He wouldn't care if I had one but I personally think it's gross.

Didn't want one for this reason, it's not me anyway, and I let those who informed me they were planning something that I would refuse to go if there was such a thing planned. I'm not into it and wouldn't enjoy something like this.

Well, I went to a Chippendales show...which is basically strippers. FH had no problem with it. He actually jokingly texted me to ask if I was still pure for our wedding night. I told him they gave me a mini lap dance and he laughed.

ETA: Once we went to a birthday party with a surprise female stripper. I watched the show with him. Nobody gave her money because...well...nobody came prepared for a stripper since it was a surprise. I gave FH all the money in my wallet to give to the stripper. I felt bad...she was only a meh pole dancer (which I'm in the aerial/pole dance art community, so I know how hard it is), and she was working really hard for hardly any money. I told FH to put the dollars in her g-string. I was not jealous whatsoever. We're both pretty secure with this kind of stuff though.

OP, come back! Did you guys discuss strippers before the party? Did he have any idea? How did he find out? Did you tell him? Or did he walk in on some stripper action?

So many questions.

I really don't want saggy balls in my face...I have my FH for this... Lol.. but I'm about 99% he will have tons at his party so I guess I wouldn't turn one down if I got one..Ha! Oh yea and my SIL will be at the party so I cant get away with anything!

I don't think it's so much anything to do with "trust." But I merely don't see the point. You want to see someone else's penis in your face? Tits or ass in your face? Nah. There is literally no point in doing this. You say it's fun? I can think of a million other ways to have fun other than disrespecting my partner the night before we're agreeing to spend our lives together.

Strippers really aren't my thing.

We JUST talked about this in premarital counseling. My FH is very honest with me. There is NOT a "you cant touch a stripper" rule at most 'establishments'. And full nudes- forget about any legal rules. I have a HUGE problem with it so much that it makes my stomach churn. I can't handle the idea honestly. He knows this and if he chooses to go then he's going to have to be prepared to deal with sickened fiance'. He did agree not to do it the week of our wedding. I just want them to do it and get it OVER with and do not tell me for months cos I need LOTS of time to get over it (I just think it's a way of men to cheat personally- because you CAN touch them). LOL in counseling i told him I'd just go ask a man to pull it out in the bar. He said "but they're not strippers and dancing -" I said "oh I will ask them to dance! go ahead and go". lol we had a good laugh about it- but I honestly can't handle the thought of it at the end of the day.

I would feel more comfortable with Fh going to strip club than a regular bar. Single women at bars are scoping for men whereas strippers are scoping for cash. (I trust fh so I trust him wherever he goes)

I went to a bach with a stripper once and the guy I was seeing at the time was PISSED. There were major underlying trust issues in that relationship.

I think my FH's feelings would be hurt if I had a stripper at a party. I wouldn't care if he wanted one, but he wouldn't like it. Either way, we'd discuss it with each other beforehand.

I am not having one. My MOH was upfront with me and said the shower was enough of a headache (not because of me...but bc of other BMs...I didn't ask questions or get involved). My shower was beautiful and I had 2 others since (my hometown and work one).

My FH did have a bachelor party a month ago. I know he went to a "gentleman's club". We talked extensively about it but there's no trust issue. I wasn't THRILLED about the idea but I know and like his friends. They're all married and made it but one stop among a few of his favorite spots in his hometown. They hit up a few bars, the club, and finally a diner to wind down at 2-3am. I'm glad he had fun. I had fun at my showers

I'm haven't asked my girls yet so who knows if I'm even having a bachelorette party, but honestly a stripper is not my thing. Penises aren't very pretty.... I don't really want FH to have a stripper at his (and he knows this). Also, I hate the "last fling before the ring" crap too.... like I'm getting married, not living life as a monk. I plan to go hard at the bars and clubs as a married woman with my husband regardless!

ETA spelling

My fiancé knows I would never do that. My bachelorette party is a complete surprise but I know it will be very classy and my FH won't be upset. Maybe I'm a prude but strippers and dancers are not my "thing" or entertaining for me.

I've only been to one bachelorette party with a stripper. It was gross and the bride cried.

There won't be any at mine...when my MOH asked me what I wanted to do for the bachelorette, I just shrugged and said, "Um...something where I can wear both a dress and yoga pants?" So we're getting dressed up for dinner and then coming back to the house and doing a spa night. FH won't have strippers at his either. When we talked about it, he was dumbfounded that I would even think he might want them. I didn't, really, but we had just moved to an area with a TON of strip clubs and so I was curious. I think they'll probably go to a baseball game and out for drinks.

So basically it was a non-issue for us, because we agreed that they're not our thing, but both of us would be upset if the other had them. But, the people planning our bachelor/ette parties know us and know that we don't want anything like that, so, again, non-issue.

I've never even been to a bachelorette party with a stripper. Basically everyone I know would be SUPER uncomfortable with one.

They surprised me with one I did not want one he was more mad about him not getting one lol

Is he actually mad? Because I would be wondering why FH is so angry about not getting a stripper.....

I have a feeling my FH would probably not be thrilled at the idea of strippers for me or himself. If I pushed it he'd probably give in, but I don't really care for strippers myself.

No but hey and let me be clear there was no junk in my face either I let my single ladies enjoy the stripper for a minute then I asked him to leave

Guy here. I never had strippers nor did my wife. I would have never had them and I definitely didn't want my wife to get them nor have them with any other bachelorette parties with any of her friends.

I read a lot of people post about "trusting" and they reference cheating with the stripper. They come from the angle that as long as a fiancé doesn't have sex with the stripper than all is good. It's not that I would have been concerned that my wife would have sex with the stripper and to be honest I really wouldn't mind that she "sees" the stripper. My problem is the touching. Women don't just sit in location A and watch while the stripper dances in location B and then the stripper just goes his merry way. These shows and private strippers are VERY hands on and engage and pick up the women, touch them, sit in her lap and/or he sets her on his lap and he grinds, he'll often grab the ladies hands and put her hands on his butt, he may pick her up and simulate a sexual position with her and dry hump her through her clothes, he may put whip cream on himself and try and get the women to lick it off plus a lot of other things that aren't actual sex but are very inappropriate for someone in a committed relationship.

The stripper will aggressively seek out each woman and try pull these antics with them all. The bride to be gets the most interactive touching and sex games.

Plus, in many cases the women will have had a lot to drink so they may be more apt to play along than tell him to get away.

I would find that very inappropriate and revolting as a fiancé and husband. I wouldn't want my wife anywhere near any of these stripper events.

I'm surprised any significant other would find this acceptable. If the stripper didn't inter-mingle and touch the women and engage them in this raunchy play I wouldn't care.

This would be a huge violation of our relationship boundaries.

Many refer to these events only within the guidelines of people are just "looking" at strippers or that everything is fine as long as they didn't have sex. They gloss over what stuff usually goes on with male strippers at bachelorette parties.