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Devoted August 2021

Stressed!!

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Crystal, on September 22, 2019 at 10:36 AM

Posted in Planning 27

I am recently engaged and in the planning process. We chose the date 8/13/21. I have never been married and I am a single mom to 2 girls (11 & 2). I will be turning 39 this Friday.

now here’s the kicker.

I feel like I am on my own with all the planning and idea scheming. Every single thing I say I want or say I like SOMEONE from my life (mom, best friend, friends) will comment “can you afford that?” “That’s kind of expensive” “I did this...” “You should just do this.”
I have envisioned my wedding for many years. I have a fairy tail dream I want but Of course I understand that I need to be reasonable.
my cousin got married this last summer and my entire family fawned over her and her beautiful wedding Etc (which I didn’t even find remotely beautiful). My aunt proceeds to tell me I should just have my ceremony and reception at the AMVETS cuz it’s cheap. And serve salad and sandwiches from sams club. (No offense to anyone that may have done that). I stated to my best friend that I wanted a candy bar station and she says, “YOUR WEDDING IS GONNA COST 100K!!” How so?!

i feel as if I deserve more than that. I have sacrificed a LOT being a single mom. Working hard Etc. I do nothing for myself. Ever. Everything is for my kids. I feel like I deserve ONE day where I can be beautiful. Feel classy. And be in a beautiful environment. When I bring this stuff up they call me “Bridezilla” is it really that bad to want a beautiful wedding?? I feel like I have zero support in helping with anything.

sorry to unload, I just needed to vent somewhere where there may be someone feeling the same way.

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27 Comments

Dedicated June 2022
Valencia · on September 22, 2019 at 9:49 PM
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That really sucks. I know how you are feeling. Every time I say I am doing something everyone is just like “oh so you going all out huh.” Me and my FH have been together for over 5 years and have children so they feel I should just be happy with anything... whereas I feel I waited this long I deserve the best. Which is why I planned for 2021 so it will give me time to make payments on the things that I really want... when I said I wanted a honeymoon my FMIL asked why since we have been on vacation together before... smh just make a plan, give yourself plenty of time, and try not to stress
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Dedicated October 2019
Erin · on September 22, 2019 at 9:49 PM
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Congrats on your engagement!! I did all of the planning on my own as well and didn’t hire a wedding planner. There are times you will get stressed and overwhelmed, but just take a step back and breath. You’re way ahead of the game and focus on checking off one thing at a time. I checked off big ticket items first, i.e. the venue, florists, cake, catering, dress, which helped me to feel like I was accomplishing thing and then took a few months off and then would work on small projects (i.e. guest book, signs) for later. It will turn out beautifully and it’s your day, so do want you want. I was engaged for 1.5 years and am getting married in less than a month. Someone told me recently that you’re the only one who will know something didn’t go as planned or look how you wanted it to be, so don’t stress when it gets here. I know it’s easier said than done and I didn’t enjoy the planning process, but can’t wait for the weekend to be here. You got this!
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Just Said Yes July 2022
Tiffanie · on September 22, 2019 at 9:53 PM
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It's your day and don' t let folks stress you out. Everyone always to have their opinion and remember that's what it is, their opinion. You can have what you want because you have 2 years to plan and that's more than enough time. You just have to start with a list and utilize this site because it has so many ideas and tells you where you need to start. Start a wedding account and set down and make a budget and start saving each month. Think about what are the things what is most important to you. If you have been to tons of weddings like me then I'm sure you already have in your head what you did like and what you didn't like about them. It's okay to take some ideas from each to fit your dream wedding. You can have dream wedding if you prepare, budget and most importantly remember it's about you and your fiance' at the end of the day. You can do it.
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Beginner April 2020
Tiera · on September 22, 2019 at 10:00 PM
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Hi, I totally understand everything you’re saying! You deserve to be happy and have anything you want, no matter what it costs! We wait all our lives for this special day that we’ve dreamed of when we were younger, and to have to settle. And who says you can’t have everything you want and stay in budget. Creativity will get you far! You can do most of the stuff yourself and have fun at the same time.. for the candy bar you can do a nice one for cheap! I say do whatever makes you happy anything is possible! You can have the wedding you dream of and stay in budget it’s possible.
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Master November 2022
Chrysta · on September 22, 2019 at 10:06 PM
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Just listen to your heart and do what makes sense to YOU!! You DO deserve an amazing wedding!!
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Devoted August 2021
Crystal · on September 22, 2019 at 11:40 PM
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Thank you, ladies. So much! I appreciate the kind messages and ideas. This is exactly why I wanted to come to this site. I appreciate it more than you’d know!!
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Savvy May 2021
Sierra · on September 23, 2019 at 5:45 PM
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Family/friends often think they're being helpful by making comments like that but they more often than not come off as condescending. It's your wedding - you make it whatever you want it to be. If someone makes a comment you don't appreciate, just tell them that you respect their opinion but it's ultimately your special day, so it's up to you what you include/don't include. It can be stressful, but people eventually get the hint.
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