Stressed out moh

View Quoted Comment You’ve made me feel so much better about this thank you sooooo much I will relax now and take it easy!!!!!!! And wait for her to just tell me what’s next .. I was really worried that she wanted everything to be a surprise but gave me no details but I’m more relaxed now!!!!! Thank you

View Quoted Comment You're very welcome! I'm glad I could help.
It may be that she has those expectations. You never know. But everything is harder with Covid. That trickles down to everything related to weddings. Things like, how many people are allowed to gather for a shower? Will anyone even come now that restrictions have tightened? People have lost jobs and are really struggling financially. It's not the best time to even be having these kinds of parties, let alone a wedding. Here in California, we are back to shelter-in-place orders, a.k.a. stay at home. No gatherings whatsoever outside of your own household. It's bad right now. Hopefully your relative will communicate better in the future.

View Quoted Comment This is very true& things are getting worse here in NYC for sure!! Thanks again

Her expectations are unreasonable. You're also holding yourself to an unfair standard.


She straight up asked you to "surprise" her with a bridal shower and hold a bachelorette that requires travel? These parties are done if someone volunteers. You don't ask
"Surprise" her with a simple Zoom bridal shower. Explain to her that you'll have to scrap the destination bachelorette because of covid and finances. Done
You should not be in limbo for 3 years. You should not be chasing her down for directions

You need to really talk to her about how you're feeling in the most sensitive way possible. No beating around the bush and be direct, but again, be sensitive to the whole situation. It's okay that you want to focus on your wedding a bit due to their wedding being an ongoing thing of 3 years. But, you're about to be on her shoes planning during a pandemic that came out of nowhere. Even if you have to type or write something and use it when you talk to ensure everything you wanted to say is said and well thought out all the while being mindful of the brides feelings. Honesty is the only way to move forward no matter what the outcome may be. Just be kind and know it's hard to stick it out especially as a bride. It's overwhelming and hard at times.

Give her a deadline to respond to your concerns. Let her know you will not be able to participate until she provides you with further information. Focus on your own wedding and life until she gets back to you.