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Halle
Devoted November 2019

Straight out of college and getting married ?

Halle, on January 30, 2019 at 2:46 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 28
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Hey everyone I just love hearing about others opinions on today’s young brides . Many people believe that because it is more likely in today’s society to marry when you have basically gotten your life together by having a career . Are there any young brides or now wives that got married young/planning to and or got married right out of college /planning to . I just graduated from college last May and I have gotten a TON of dissatisfied family and friends on my decision to get married at such a young age .what are your thoughts ?

28 Comments

Latest activity by Katie, on August 21, 2020 at 11:17 AM
  • Abby
    VIP March 2019
    Abby ·
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    I will be turning 23 nine days before my wedding! The funny thing is is that actually makes me the oldest in my family to get married so getting married young is the norm in my circle haha! I know of several couples in my friend group that got married early twenties or even 18 or 19.
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  • Halle
    Devoted November 2019
    Halle ·
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    Do you have any positives or negatives you’ve observed from any of those couples
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  • Tara
    Master May 2020
    Tara ·
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    It’s not so much of age, as long as she is 18! I can’t be that broad and say every woman younger than 25 is too young to marry. It depends on the person. Is she mature enough to realize and handle the responsibilities of marriage and running a household? Is she financially stable and able to live on her own income if her husband should leave her? Those are some of the questions I would have to know the answer to before saying someone is too young to marry.
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  • Abby
    VIP March 2019
    Abby ·
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    Everything has been very positive as far as I know! They are all so excited to be married and don't feel like they missed out on anything which is what a lot of people's concerns are about. They are proud that they get to be married longer haha.

    I'm so glad I'm getting married young! I get to experience the rest of my life with my best friend!
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  • Brit
    Devoted May 2019
    Brit ·
    • Flag

    Not me, but my best friend. She got married at 23. She is still happily married almost 12 years later and has 4 kids. Her and her husband are my goal couple. She is my go to for advice. I feel like if you are ready as a woman to get married, then no one should tell you no. As long as you are comfortable with it, don't let the negative nelly's tell you otherwise.

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  • Halle
    Devoted November 2019
    Halle ·
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    Awe that is so sweet I feel the exact same way !!!!❤️❤️❤️😍
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  • Bailey
    Super March 2019
    Bailey ·
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    I graduated college a year early in May 2017, but my schooling wasn’t finished until May 2018. I will turn 23 about two weeks before our wedding, and have no regrets at all. My FH will be 24 when we get married and be 25 a few months after.

    He owns our house and has for the past year, so that’s one less thing on our plate to worry about. He has a good job, and my job is good as well, just not full time yet.
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  • LB
    Champion November 2016
    LB ·
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    I started dating my H when we were 18. I can honestly say if we got married right out of college, we would have had a much harder time. By waiting and growing together in our lives and careers we were able to establish a strong foundation before we took the step to get married. I guess when I see young brides I just don't understand the rush, but that's just from my personal experience. I know if we decided to get married right out of college we would not have the family support we had later in life.

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  • Megan
    VIP January 2019
    Megan ·
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    We were both 27 when we got married and wouldn't have it any other way. I realize getting married young works for many, but it wouldn't have worked for me. By the time we got married we had thoroughly enjoyed whatever version of our young 20's we needed to, were established in our careers, able to immediately buy a house, and basically knew what our lives would look like. If we had gotten married at 23 it would have meant already being married through my husband's 3 career changes, which we made it through fine (obviously...we did as a dating couple) but I'm glad we weren't going through that with the pressure of a marriage "on the line" if that makes sense. We took things slow. We had been together about 5 1/2 years at the time of marriage, and very much did enjoy the fact not a single person was unhappy or questioning out decision. It was nice to have unanimous support. As a bonus....my parents wouldn't have paid for the wedding if we were under 25. That's not why we waited but it was a nice bonus for waiting.

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    I'll be 25 when we get married, so not exactly young. But I have been dating my fiance since I was in college, and he proposed while he was finishing his masters degree (he will be 29 when we get married). I'm pretty much the first of my friends to marry, and my fiance is one of only a few of his friends to be getting married but I don't think it's a problem! I think as long as you are an adult you can make good decisions. People do change & mature, but that's possible to do while in a relationship.

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  • 2d Bride
    Champion October 2009
    2d Bride ·
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    I got married for the first time a year out of college, when I was 23. I wish I had waited longer. At the time I got married, he was the experienced older guy who could give me advice on my career, because he'd already been working for a few years. After I'd had a few years to establish my own career, he was no longer able to fulfill that role. At that point, he began to feel unneeded, because so much of his self-image had been tied up in his being able to help in that way. And his feelings of being unneeded (rational or not) had a lot to do with the end of our marriage.

    Obviously, your experience may be different. But I will say two things:

    * Your chances of divorce get lower for each year you delay marriage.

    * Every single person I have met thinks the above doesn't apply to her, because she thinks she is mature for her age.


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  • E
    Super October 2017
    Emily ·
    • Flag

    I think that honestly it depends. There are pros and cons to getting married at either age range. I never expected to but I was 32 before we were married. When I was out of college, I was with a man and we were planning to get married. We were never engaged but we were together for 8 years and had a house together. Everyone's experience is different, but I remember constantly defending myself against people who said that I was too young. I think it's not always about age or maturity level - it's about how people change and grow together or not together. I was a mature, responsible young person and today I am a MUCH different person. I am grateful that my life changed the way it did, but there was a lot of heartbreak during those transitions.

    I think what people were getting at when I was young was that life will surprise you. No matter how well you plan, those plans will change. Sometimes in ways that are hard or painful or difficult and sometimes in ways that change your needs and personality and that can affect your relationships.

    How's that for not at all an answer? Lol

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  • E
    Super October 2017
    Emily ·
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    I love your bullet points... That is a big part of my point. These things did not apply to me because I was so mature and responsible. Now I see that while that was true, it wasn't as much of a service to me as I thought it was. Not that I missed out on "party days" or dating around like some people may tell you when you're young, but more that I was so focused on this picture of the future instead of focusing on the now because you don't really realize what the future holds.

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  • MD
    Super July 2019
    MD ·
    • Flag

    My fiance and I will both be 23 when we get married. He proposed a month after we graduated college, and then basically a year after that we're getting married. Honestly, we haven't had any family or friends say anything about us being too young, but probably because we've been together for over 6 years, and both of our parents got married in their teens/early 20s. The only people who really comment that we're too young are those who don't really know us, like acquaintances or church people. People are going to think what they want, and of course it surprises me sometimes when those thoughts come out of their mouths, but at the end of the day it's my life & marriage, not theirs.

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  • Lizzy
    Super October 2019
    Lizzy ·
    • Flag
    I will be 31 when we get married. I have grown and changed so much in the last 10 years and I would not have been ready to be a wife after college. I think if you feel like you've grown and experienced life with your FH, that may work for you. Every relationship is different
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  • Jessie
    Devoted May 2019
    Jessie ·
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    I’m not young per say but i started college later than most. I waited till I was 21 to begin school and do so part time. My wedding actually falls on my graduation day. I don’t think it’s necessary to have your life all settled before getting married. There’s no timeline that you need to follow, do what makes you happy
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  • Destiny
    Savvy August 2019
    Destiny ·
    • Flag
    By the time we get married, I’ll be 22 and my fiancé will be about to turn 23. We actually met in college. I won’t be graduated just yet..I’ll have about a year left of nursing school by the time we get married. However, I don’t think getting married young has hindered us in any way. We still do the things “young people” do like going out with our friends, separately or together, going on trips, and just living our lives. In the beginning we did get some questioning as to why we wanted to get married, but it’s been nothing but positives thus far. I feel like others always have a say in young couples, but all that matters is that you and your fiancé are both ready and can handle all the responsibilities that come along with marriage.
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  • Jennifer
    Beginner June 2019
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag

    As long as an individual is over 18 and in their right frame of thinking. One can get married when they wish. People say I am an older bride. I support anyone getting married for the right reasons!

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  • Mrs. S
    Master November 2019
    Mrs. S ·
    • Flag
    I was engaged at 21 and I broke it off. It was a huge mistake for me and I’m so much happier now. But if you’re in the right place with the right person then it’ll be good.
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  • Futuremrsk
    VIP August 2019
    Futuremrsk ·
    • Flag
    I will be 30 when we get married and my FH will be 36. We are both glad that we have waited to get married. If I would have married the guy I was with when I was 23 I can guarentee that I would be divorced right now. I have changed so much since my early 20s. My values have changed and what I deem important in a relationship has changed and my FH has said the same thing. I'm not against getting married young if it's right for the couple. Only they know that. There are people I went to high school with who married right away and are still going strong, and there are those who are on their 3rd marriage. Depends on the person/couple I think. For me personally, waiting was the better option.
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