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Kelsey
VIP September 2020

Stop saying it's the worse year ever

Kelsey, on July 23, 2020 at 4:02 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 21
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Is anyone else tired of hearing how this is the worse year ever? Even though so much has changed as far as some wedding planning goes, I'm still so happy that I get to marry my FH in 50 days. I honestly cannot wait! The one thing I am truly tired of hearing and seeing though on social media is how this is the worse year ever; it truly hurts when this year is going to bring so much good for me and my FH. When the pandemic started and places shutdown, my FH was furloughed; in May ( I think) we found out the branch of the company he was working was closing for good. He found another job about a month later. He is so much happier there then he was at his old job. So while many look at that as a bad thing, it turned out to the best thing and we turned this into a positive. I wish others would start doing that. I feel closer to my FH more than ever, we got to spend quality time together when we couldn't go anywhere. We got serious about what we are looking for in a house and watched a lot of HGTV to see what we think we can handle has far as remodeling goes. This hands down was and will not be the worse year. This year will still bring happiness to so many. I think that people's worse years are matter of perspective, mine was 2017. I won't go into details, but I don't find it fair for others to be saying this year is the worse year ever when I never even so much as thought about doing that during what I term as my worse year. Please tell me I'm not the only tired of hearing "it's the worse year"

21 Comments

  • Melle
    Rockstar June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    I think for a lot of people they are so used to seeing things half empty rather than half full. So they don’t remember all the things they still have that they should appreciate and all the opportunities we still have. Instead what they’re looking at is the fact that they’re missing some things or they got some things taken away from them.
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  • Kelsey
    VIP September 2020
    Kelsey ·
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    True and I understand that. I had tickets and camping passes bought and paid for 2 music festivals this summer. While they are both are cancelled. I waited about 2 months to get a full refund because going next year is not really an option for us; since we plan on being pregnant by then. Was I sad that I am going to miss them absolutely. But then I upgraded the honeymoon suite we booked for our minimoon. It's about putting things in perspective and finding the positive. Now my FH and I can have an even better vacation together.

    • Reply
  • Marcia
    Devoted March 2021
    Marcia ·
    • Flag
    I think many people have faced challenges from the pandemic, some maybe the biggest challenges of their lives thus far. 2020 is not the worst year of my life by far, but I suffered from clinical anxiety as a result of working on covid response in the early outbreak. At the same time, I also got to work from home for a time and be with my family, who I hardly ever see, which has been such a gift. And I've grown a lot through all of this. There is always good in the world if we look.


    I agree that people seem to be dumping their stress and pessimism on others because they think everyone feels the same way they do about 2020. Most people wouldn't go to a bride and say "2017 sucks" because things were hard for them that year. Mourning losses is a part of like, but I think some more hopeful talk would do all of us a world of good.
    • Reply
  • M
    Super January 2019
    Maggie ·
    • Flag

    That's nice that you and your future spouse haven't been badly impacted by this global pandemic. You both should absolutely be celebrating how well your lives are going. Practice turning off social media and tuning out the people you feel are too negative as ways to protect your mental health.

    But I think this is kind of an odd thing to try to police everyone else on. Your post title and you saying, "but I don't find it fair for others to be saying this year is the worse year ever" definitely seem like you are trying to control how other people handle this crisis.

    Many, many people have had their lives irreparably affected and they are allowed to be sad (or angry, or bitter, or...), just as you are allowed to be happy. If I were you, I would concentrate on the things you can control and let the rest be.

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  • Kelsey
    VIP September 2020
    Kelsey ·
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    Right but I can easily say that the challenges I faced in 2017 were life changing and while it may have been the worse year for me personally it made me so much stronger than i ever knew I could be. I wish that others would realize that though this year may present challenges for them but learning to strive for the good in the world and make the most of the year, they will realize just how strong they are.

    But it's ok for everyone to dump on brides of this year, how much this year sucks? While I never dumped on anyone who got married in 2017, I was in 2 weddings that year mind. I still plastered a smile on my face and was happy for them even though I was experiencing and going through so much that year. Why can't the folks who say 2020 sucks do the same thing that I had to do that year? I completely agree that people need to see the good. I'm just trying to understand.

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  • Kelsey
    VIP September 2020
    Kelsey ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    I'm not trying to control anything. I just wish people would keep things in perspective and think before they post is all...

    • Reply
  • M
    Super January 2019
    Maggie ·
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    Hmmm, you seem to be taking people's reaction to the global pandemic very personally. I can't relate to those feelings so I don't really know how to answer your questions. I hope you have a nice wedding and that no one else complains within your hearing.

    • Reply
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag
    It’s great that you’re having a good year and that you could turn lemons into lemonade, but that’s not the case for everyone. Hundreds of thousands of families are mourning the losses of their loved ones from a virus that half of our country still thinks is a hoax, families are being ripped apart because of the huge political divide, people are losing their jobs and inevitably their homes and other belongings because of the economy crashing, black people are still being murdered for being black, I could keep going for days. I’m glad that you’re having a good year, but not everyone is so privileged and they have every right to express that. This IS the worst year ever for some people.
    • Reply
  • Kelsey
    VIP September 2020
    Kelsey ·
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    Ok you just gave me a reason to not come on here anymore. All I did was ask people to be considerate of people's feelings when they say this is worse year ever. Clearly it got taken the wrong way. Good luck and I'm done with this site.

    • Reply
  • Marcia
    Devoted March 2021
    Marcia ·
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    I completely agree that people should still pump up the brides instead of telling them all the time what a bummer it is that their wedding is in am awful year. Totally on the same page
    • Reply
  • Marisa
    Rockstar May 2021
    Marisa ·
    • Flag

    Go on with your bad self!

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    • Reply
  • Sharon
    Expert September 2021
    Sharon ·
    • Flag
    I understand your perspective. Everyone goes through their own personal worst year and no, they don't dump on other people because of it. Everything going on this year is universal and life changing for many and we're all commiserating together.


    You're fortunate if the worst thing that happened to you this year is your FH losing his job and finding a better one so quickly. Most aren't that lucky. A lot of us lost family members and loved ones. Even if it wasn't due to COVID we still couldn't hold a proper funeral for them. Some of us have lost our jobs because of this and still haven't found a new one. Some of us had to postpone our weddings a year. Some have had loved ones in the hospital and couldn't be there for them. The list goes on. Of course I've also been able to find the good things during this because life is made up of good and bad times, sometimes at the same time.
    And while yes, personally I have been through worse it doesn't detract from how stressful this has been. I'm sorry if you feel like it's taking away from your joy. No one has a right to do that. But your dismissing the feelings of people who have suffered through this time is equally wrong.
    • Reply
  • T
    Expert April 2021
    Tiger Bride ·
    • Flag
    If you had posted that 2017 was your worst year, it wouldn't be a blip on the radar of anyone who got married that year. They literally would not care.


    2020 is an absolute bleep-show for LOTS of people. People have lost loved ones, people have lost jobs, people's businesses have been destroyed by shutdowns or riots or both, people have postponed weddings, missed graduations and proms and other once in a lifetime events, people are living in fear every single day. I haven't hugged my mom or my grandma in 4 months since I don't want to give them Covid. This is a pretty awful year for a hell of a lot of people. It's not right for you to be offended at someone saying as much.
    • Reply
  • Elizabeth
    Master December 2016
    Elizabeth ·
    • Flag

    People have lost loved ones. People have committed suicide. It's not about turning bad into good. For many, many people, this is literally the worst year of their lives. My best friend was planning her wedding for June and on what was supposed to be her wedding day (she postponed due to COVID), her mother died of COVID. My aunt lost her husband (she was still a newlywed). I'm glad that you and your fiance are having such a good year, but that isn't the case for everyone. Try to be understanding that others have not been blessed with the good fortune you have.

    • Reply
  • Ellen
    Dedicated September 2020
    Ellen ·
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    THANK YOU 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
    • Reply
  • Jessica
    Devoted July 2020
    Jessica ·
    • Flag

    On one hand - It's been a tough year for many, well beyond the annoyances that I have personally endured, so I can understand completely why this may literally be the worst year ever for some in worse situations than me. It is also a time that really deep societal issues are being brought to the forefront and are long overdue for some airtime and the emotions that this stirs up are so raw and real and necessary to move to a better place. This has made me feel like I need to downplay my wedding, shrug it off a bit when people mention they are excited for me. For awhile there it felt wrong to celebrate and I've even thought about not posting pictures widely on social media because there are more important things being shared on those platforms right now. Some of our friends are going through tough times after having lost their jobs, having to double down as an essential worker, or worry about elderly parents. It doesn't feel right to push our celebration into the forefront.

    On the other hand - I am getting married! I'm super excited about that. I still have a job and despite my FH being laid off we are still in our home and haven't lost too much financial footing. I am extremely grateful for our stability. I get to work from the safety of home which I actually LOVE more than going into the office because I'm an introvert, a homebody, and love time with my pets. I kind of love that we are all being forced to make do with some more simplicity, cook at home more, have time to invest into hobbies and other passions, and really think about supporting our communities and protecting others. I think that in the long run really positive changes will come out of this as we adjust our ways of life and perspective on the world.

    I didn't expect to write this much but thanks to the OP who forced me into a moment of reflection and gratefulness. I hope you can all find a silver lining in all of this craziness!

    • Reply
  • Jessica
    Devoted July 2020
    Jessica ·
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    The difference is that this is a terrible year for literally the whole world, the societal and global implications are gigantic. Some are impacted in major ways that you may have experienced yourself in a previous year, but the scale of this means that just about everything is in a state of change and produces this collective anxiety. Nobody can hang their hat on anything or predict the future right now.

    Just like many are trying to plan their weddings during this uncertainty, or figure out whether to postpone or not. Others are trying to determine whether or not to send their kids back to school, whether or not to see ailing parents and risk their health, whether to shut down their businesses or hang in there and hope for a turnaround, whether or not to sell their house to avoid foreclosure. ALL of that happening at the same time just produces a ripple effect on everyone that makes everything "suck."

    This does not discount your personal experience with tough times at all, it is just that we are at a huge inflection point that will be a major moment in history. We are all trying to navigate it and come out safely on the other side with no clear path to follow.

    • Reply
  • Jessica
    Devoted July 2020
    Jessica ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    About your funeral comment - I lost my grandmother in March and the family has not been able to come together to mourn. Her funeral will likely be at least a year and a half later. Really tough.

    • Reply
  • Sharon
    Expert September 2021
    Sharon ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I'm so sorry for your loss! Grandma's are truly the most special people in our lives (at least to me). To lose her is hard enough but to not be able to say goodbye to her properly is heartbreaking.
    • Reply
  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
    • Flag
    You wrote, “I think that people's worse years are matter of perspective”. That’s absolutely correct. Yours happened to be in 2017. But for many people 2020 IS their worst year thus far. Despite weddings being affected, there are some people who have been sick themselves, others who have lost jobs, many who lost love ones, etc. So, yes, I accept and have empathy if this is their worst year thus far. I realize that it’s sometimes more difficult to swallow when this is supposed to be a happy time for us brides. I’m a former 2020 bride (postponed to 2021) and I totally remember quickly changing the subject any time a person asked if my wedding was still occurring. I remember being bugged anytime there was something negative about the virus in the news, in social media or in conversation. I didn’t really want to hear about it and didn’t want to accept that the pandemic was as serious and deadly as it is was (more than that, I didn’t want to accept the fact that it was possibly going to affect our wedding). Instead, I preferred to remain in MY happy little bride-to-be bubble. But, now I can see that was totally my denial because I didn’t want all the sadness and negativity to be associated with my wedding. So, I totally totally understand!! Although 2020 might not be my “worst year”, it has definitely been my most messed up year for sure. However, even though we postponed until next year, I’m still super excited about our wedding. But, please do forgive me if I’m just not excited about 2020.
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