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K
June 2020

Still waiting for a proposal. Did the pandemic ruin my moment?

Katherine, on May 28, 2020 at 3:20 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 24
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I could really use some encouragement. I’ve been with my boyfriend for nearly four years now, and I have been anticipating a proposal for around a year and a half. That is, anticipating moments when a proposal *could* happen - such as on trips. I have no doubt he will propose to me, but the waiting is becoming a lot to bear. The anxiety I feel before trips is almost too much. I suspect, he could have been planning to propose on a trip we were set to take in March. But now, because of the pandemic, we’ll be waiting to take the trip in September. Three more months of waiting for a *possible* proposal? Ughhh I am barely keeping sane! We’ll be taking a vacation with family in one month, and I hope and pray he’ll consider asking me to marry him then. He’s the one for me! Ladies, did the pandemic change any of your fiances’ proposal plans? Did he end up pushing it back or just ask in a different way? I’m driving myself nuts thinking about it.

24 Comments

  • Allison
    Beginner April 2021
    Allison ·
    • Flag

    The stress of waiting for the proposal is awful! Have you talked to your boyfriend about it at all? I'm sure he wants it to be a surprise but having a conversation on what the expectations are will be good and hopefully help you feel less anxious about the situation. I was also in your position last year so I completely understand what you're going through. Good luck!!

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  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2020
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    Maybe or maybe not? I remember when I was sad because I was expecting a proposal to happen at a time but it didn’t. Turns out something happened and the ring wasn’t ready so it happened a month later!


    My fiancé’s cousin just got engaged over lockdown. He was planning to propose in Greece but he had to change plans and proposed at their first date in the park.
    • Reply
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn Online ·
    • Flag
    If you’re so eager that the anxiety is “almost too much,” why don’t you propose yourself?
    • Reply
  • Mrs. S
    Super November 2019
    Mrs. S ·
    • Flag
    I’ve had so many anti-climactic vacations and sleepless nights for this same reason. Finally my husband told me he was going to propose on a trip and I couldn’t go on the trip. So when we took it a month later I was expecting it but he didn’t propose. He proposed right after the trip but tbh if he hadn’t I was planning to leave a few months later. Hang in there til September, and decide where your limit is. I know people don’t want to pressure their SOs but realistically I think it’s unfair to wait around for years, putting your life in someone else’s hands indefinitely.
    • Reply
  • K
    June 2020
    Katherine ·
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    Thank you for your kind words! I have brought it up in the past. He always reassures me that his plan is to propose, but that I will NEVER know the details of it. He’s very hush hush anytime I bring it up.
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2020
    Michelle ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    What helped me was having a time frame of when it might happen. He doesn’t have to give details.
    • Reply
  • Allison
    Beginner April 2021
    Allison ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Ugh that’s annoying. Mine was kind of the same way until his grandma started telling everyone he was going to propose when we went on a trip last October (he hadn’t planned to at that point). So then we had a conversation about how he was planning on proposing but it wouldn’t be in October but it would happen after that at some point. And then he proposed on that trip haha. I know it’s frustrating but if he’s said he’s going to, then he is and he is probably just trying to make it the most special moment as it can be! I completely understand the anxiety though of thinking every occasion is going to be THE moment!
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  • K
    June 2020
    Katherine ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Congrats to your fiancés cousin! That’s very romantic. And gives me hope! Smiley smile
    • Reply
  • Courtney
    Super September 2019
    Courtney ·
    • Flag
    Since you guys have clearly talked marriage and proposals before maybe you could raise your feelings with him. If getting engaged is the important part maybe you could let him know that it doesn’t have to be an elaborate proposal on a vacation - you’re just excited to take the next step. I knew my husband was going to propose because we designed my ring together. I was still super anxious waiting for him to “officially” ask me even though we had said we’d like to get married a million times.
    • Reply
  • Belle
    Super July 2021
    Belle ·
    • Flag
    The more and longer you expect, the more painful and disappointing you’ll get. Speaking from my own experience, some men won’t do the proposal most ladies dreamed of. Hard to so, but just try to distract yourself by thinking about something else. When it happens it happens.
    • Reply
  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
    • Flag
    Maybe just enjoy the trips that you all plan together for what they are, instead of assuming that it’s going to be a proposal trip. Seems like stressing about the “what if’s” would ruin the fun and create an unnecessary feeling of being let down. So just let it happen! I had absolutely no idea that on our trip to Hawaii, FH would propose. We hadn’t even gone ring shopping, so I never even saw it coming! But the surprise was much more exciting that way. And maybe your boyfriend won’t even propose during a trip and possibly it’ll be some other random time. But, again… Just let it happen whenever it does!!!
    • Reply
  • K
    June 2020
    Katherine ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Thank you for the kind words! You’re so right, it doesn’t have to be big! I just want to be his wife.
    • Reply
  • K
    June 2020
    Katherine ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Oh I’ve tried that. He still doesn’t give details! Ha! Maybe I can be sneakier about the way I ask lol
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2020
    Michelle ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Good luck, I know the feeling you’re feeling especially if it’s due time and you’ve been together for several years lol.
    • Reply
  • Melle
    Rockstar June 2019
    Melle Online ·
    • Flag

    I totally know what you mean. my husband is the type where if he is not given a deadline, he will take an eternity to do it. for instance, let's say the deadline is 5pm to turn in an essay - he literally will turn it in at 4:59pm. no joke, that's really how he is. we had talked about engagement a lot and i told him i have a time frame and he had one too but his was further from mine and mine was too early for him aha. i know some people think that it's weird to PLAN for something like a proposal but it's moreso the idea that we also want to have timing that aligns well for both parties. so we agreed on a year. except BECAUSE HE IS THE WAY HE IS.. HE WAS THINKING XMAS OF THAT YEAR. my god, talk about the last possible second ! surprised he didn't say new years eve! but eventually he proposed sooner than i thought he would, to throw me off.

    basically what i want to say is that it can be agonizing to wait, but it will come Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Rockstar October 2020
    Samantha ·
    • Flag

    My fiance really wanted an elaborate ring and an extravagant proposal and I had to explain to him that those things just aren't important to me. I want to commit myself to him and I would be happy with anything that came from his heart. My ring is an heirloom and my proposal was simple, but very thoughtful. Ultimately, an over the top proposal just isn't us and I'm so glad he chose something more heartfelt.

    • Reply
  • Kathryn
    Rockstar August 2020
    Kathryn ·
    • Flag
    We picked out my ring together, so I knew about when things were going to happen. It was driving me INSANE. I was chock full of anxiety and probably drove him crazy because I somehow convinced myself he would never propose even though he had the ring (he was and he had a good plan too). But neither of could wait, so we had a sweet and intimate moment where we had our first date. Talk to him about how its driving you crazy, then see if he'll give you a timeframe at least. Knowing "it'll be by July" makes everything a lot less nerve wracking, and you can hopefully feel a bit calmer with that framing and a knowledge that there will be an endpoint in mind.
    • Reply
  • Sharon
    Expert September 2021
    Sharon ·
    • Flag
    Can I give you some advice? Just enjoy every moment for what it is instead of thinking every trip or special occasion will be "IT". You just end up disappointed and not enjoying those times, maybe even feeling resentful bc it didn't happen. Don't rush through every stage of life waiting for the next milestone. It'll happen when it happens and itll be wonderful when it does. If he's a procrastinator like mine, then maybe give him a deadline. say you want to be engaged by the end of the year or whatever it is. But enjoy every date, every special occasion every vacation for what they are....time spent with your love making memories.
    • Reply
  • Phylicia
    Dedicated October 2021
    Phylicia ·
    • Flag
    Don’t think about it too much. Enjoy the moments you spend with him now and when it happens; it will happen.


    Good Luck!
    • Reply
  • Emily
    Dedicated March 2022
    Emily ·
    • Flag
    Want SO and I have been together going on 5 years. We just recently went to Disney, it was our daughters birthday, valentines and my birthday all on our trip, perfect time to propose right?!? Nope. So I just set a date and told him when we’re getting and married and where. 🤷‍♀️ Works for us. But I’d definitely talk to him about it.
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