Stepdad vows to stepdaughter...

I wouldn't do it. She's a part of the family, not a part of the marriage. Vows are said between people who have the ability to accept or reject each other's love and presence, and she doesn't have that (not saying she would reject him - just that it's not in her remit to make that decision). Instead, why not have him write her a letter that can be given to her privately. Nice paper and good ink - make it something she can keep and reread throughout all your years together as a family.

We're doing something similar, haven't worked out all the details. I don't think FH will actually say vows, but he wants to give my daughter a ring or necklace during the cermony. He's also adopting her after we're married so it's a little different.

Actually a vow is just pledging a commitment. I think it would show her that he is just as committed to her as to her mom.

I really don't like the idea of stepparent vows. The fact is, the real vows are between the two of you. If you two split up, he's not going to keep any vows he's made to the children. Pretending that he would just sets them up for betrayal.

I don't have the children say vows/make promises. Step-parent can say he will always care for her and love her as his own.

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Goodness, yall are all too weird about this whole thing. If you THINK like a child, then it's not creepy whatsoever! It's called innocence and age- appropriate conversation. All of you need to take a deep breath and stop being the ones who are creepy!!!

I think its very touching giving kids a promise ring from the future step mom/dad promise to be there when needed to always be by their side to lean on and like the song the dad he didn't have to be i think and according to my cousin who step dad knelt on one knee to during the wedding ceremony who gave her her promise ring and he had a matching one for a different finger made her feel special and apart of the ceremony since he wasn't just married her mom but her as well mom and daughter was a package deal and it made my eyes tear up he even promised to protect her from boys and to always make her laugh and smile through thick and thin its your wedding your families combining with each other so in the end if this makes you and your kids happy and your mate go for it its your family day no one can take that away so make it as personal as you want

When I read about vows first time, I thought it was incredibly touching. Now I read all the above... As we are getting ready ourselves for the wedding and writing vows, I realized that every word is very important. And it is as important as vows between wife and husband. If he/she can't or do not want to live up to these vows - maybe this marriage is not meant to be? As much as we love humor in everything, vows are not meant to be a joke - it is something that should be taken seriously.