Step Fathers role

Your husband is an adult, who, I am sure, is capable of understanding adult decisions. Your daughter is an adult, and is clearly capable of making her own decisions. Your daughter's wedding is exactly that...hers. and, that is where your focus should be. I'm sure you love your daughter very much. What better way to show it, than by supporting her decision to do what she feels is best? This isn't your situation to "fix". Let them work it out.

You can ask her reasoning so that you understand it better but ultimately you have to respect her decision. I have severe issues stemming from my childhood dealing with bio dad and step dad. They run deep and I have my reasons why I'm not including either of them. She gets to decide what his role will be be patient with her because I'm sure this wasn't a decision she made lightly.

I'm sorry your husband will have hurt feelings, but the day is about your daughter and what she wants. She can include and not include anyone she wants in the wedding.

Posts like this make me glad I was raised by a strong feminist, so the phrase "give her away" has never been in my vocabulary. In fact, none of the officiants I talked to would even use the phrase "who gives this woman?" in their ceremonies. (Of course, we went with a female officiant).

I walked down the aisle with both my parents. If one of them had passed away I would have asked my grandmother or sister.

Didn't read all the comments but I think see if she wants to do a father-daughter dance with him instead? My mom basically guilted me into saying she could walk em down the aisle (my dad passed 7 yrs ago) and I would have probably just given myself away.... good luck with it and just try to enjoy the day don't try to worry about too many people's feelings. It's impossible to keep everyone happy.

It's her decision. You can tell her how you feel but it is your decision.

It could be something personal for her. I'd talk to her about it and see what it is she's thinking. She could always do a father daughter dance with him and include him that way.

This is her wedding day. You need to talk to her about it and support whatever decision she makes.

I'm sorry you are feeling this way! But I agree with all of the previous posters who said that it sounds like you are putting your husband's feelings over your daughter's. Ultimately it is her decision and you should support her. You can forgive someone and still not want them to walk you down the aisle. She is closest to her brother, that doesn't change anything about her relationship with your husband.

A lot of brides are choosing to walk down the aisle alone or with people other than their fathers. Also, she may not want anyone to "give her away" at all. Many women don't like the reference to property and choose to forgo that part of the wedding entirely. Perhaps, like all of the wedding, her decision was about the person she is and what she wants rather than anything to do with your husband.

@Sad Mother... You said there was no physical abuse but he yelled a lot. I have no idea what it was like growing up in this household, but what you consider "yelling a lot" might actually be verbal abuse. That does a lot of damage, even if it's not visible.

Your daughter may have a better relationship with your husband now, and she may genuinely want him to participate in "dad things" (not just using him for money), but that doesn't mean she has completely healed. It takes time and she might not be ready to give him a role like this in her wedding.