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Just Said Yes June 2023

Stealing the spotlight

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Martha, on February 10, 2021 at 8:57 PM

My fiancé and I have been together for 6 years and engaged for 1 year. We were supposed to have an engagement party last April but because of COVID it was canceled. We still would like to have one but in May or June of this year. Our wedding date is June 2022. My fiancé’s sister is going to get engaged next month. We think that they will try to take away the attention from us for this year (and next) and want to have an engagement party right after ours in July and then try to get married in 2022, because they are older than us but have been together for the same amount of time. My fiancé’s mother has already told the rest of the family that she isn’t paying for anything if they want to get married in 2022 because that isn’t fair to us or to her because that’s a lot of money to spend in one year. But I feel like if they wanted to get married earlier, then he should have proposed earlier. They have known they wanted to get married for about 2 years now, so why is it that whenever something happens to us, there they are trailing right behind us, almost like they are trying to play catch up in a game we don’t want to play! Any advice on how to deal with this issue?!

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VIP November 2021
Allie · on February 11, 2021 at 2:55 PM
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Okay, so everyone else said there is no issue here...but I can understand a bit where you're coming from. We got engaged in November of 2019 and while the pandemic wasn't around yet, it came around right after, so we didn't really get to have a party or anything because of holidays, etc. Then my cousin got engaged in November 2020 along with my mother (my cousin and mom got engaged on the same exact day, imagine THAT) and the excitement was immediately turned to them and people didn't really care about us anymore. While it can be a little sad, just recognize that it IS based off of jealousy. You know how it felt in that moment and you don't want to give it up quite yet because you're still excited. I think the solution to correcting this issue is to stop focusing on it being like a competition, because it's not, and start focusing on the fact that you're going to have someone close to you just as excited for all of this stuff and who you can talk about wedding stuff with who won't seem uninterested or roll their eyes. It's so much fun being able to talk to people who are also planning a wedding because they care and listen and they're full of excitement too....hence why we are all here! If parents are refusing to pay, that isn't your issue. Just keep planning your own things and join in celebrating with her. Remember, this is your life and it's their life too. Life isn't meant to be a competition and it would be extremely unfair to ask someone to put their life on hold for yours to continue.
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VIP January 2020
Vicky · on February 11, 2021 at 10:34 PM
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...deal with what? This is the opposite of an issue.
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