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Just Said Yes February 2023

std and formal stationary help

Skyefye, on March 25, 2022 at 6:44 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 7

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So my FH goes by a nickname, Zae. His real name is José but he hates it. So much so that he wanted to legally change his name to Zae but ultimately I convinced him not to because of his family. He is Mexican, and most know Latinos are very prideful. Now I’m faced with the STD, stationary, and wedding signs.

Friends and my family call him by his nickname, but NOBODY in his family calls him by that. I don’t even know if some friends and family even know his real name haha. His family calls him by his first and middle name (he’s a Junior so his dad was just Jose).
I fear that his family will get the invites and STD and be like what? Obviously they know who it is but I’m not sure if they would have anything to say about it. I don’t think he even knows the answer to that. Am I over thinking it? I think I am but I just want to be respectful to his family. His abuelita in Mexico is going to get that invite and be like who the hell is Zae 😂 she’s not on fb!
I definitely plan to do the invites formal but everything else as far as the std and wedding signs… I’m conflicted! He doesn’t really seem to have an answer either so I’m thinking I need some outsider opinion.

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7 Comments

Latest activity by Christy, on March 26, 2022 at 12:35 AM

VIP May 2022
Jasmine S. · on March 25, 2022 at 6:52 PM
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Generally save-the-dates are less formal than invitations. If you want to put a nickname on your STDs, because that's what everyone most commonly knows him by, then go ahead. So don't worry about it now, just put Zae and you'll have time to figure out the signs and stuff for the actual wedding day.
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Dedicated September 2022
S · on March 25, 2022 at 6:53 PM
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Hmm what if you were to ask his family (i.e., parents) if they would think it's inappropriate to use Zae in your stationary? I feel like they'd also appreciate knowing that you're trying to be really thoughtful about it and wouldn't want to offend his family one way or another. Ultimately if they're okay with it, I would probably use the name your FH feels more comfortable with. But either way, people will know who it is because you'll probably have a picture of you two featured on your save the date or something (unless you won't haha then I'm not sure)
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Just Said Yes February 2023
Skyefye · on March 25, 2022 at 6:55 PM
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I would hope they’d know who he was! But this is the stuff I think of haha. Thank you though, surprisingly enough I did not think to even ask the family 😅
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VIP October 2022
Taylor · on March 25, 2022 at 8:43 PM
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My fiancés nickname is Ray. Full name Raymond. We put ray on the save the dates because no one but some of his family calls him by Raymond. Some of his family was like why but he didn’t care. It’s not their wedding. It should be what your spouse wants to be called. If they don’t like it oh well in my opinion🤷🏻‍♀️ I guess my fiancés nickname is not quite as extreme as your SOs lol
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Just Said Yes February 2023
Skyefye · on March 25, 2022 at 9:08 PM
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It’s like Jose “hozae” kinda haha. But good point!
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Devoted December 2022
Orianna · on March 25, 2022 at 9:20 PM
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You could always do Jose Middle Name “Zae” Last Name. Maybe wordy, but then at least you’d hit all the bases. And that way, when you do the more informal signs at your wedding you could just do Zae having already established that it’s his nickname.

My FH has an uncle nicknamed Babe. From childhood (think Babe Ruth). Formal invites are going to Raymond, but his seating assignment will say Babe. All of our invites are very formal, but our seating assignments will say their nicknames.
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Dedicated July 2022
Christy · on March 26, 2022 at 12:35 AM
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I don’t like my FH first name that he goes by or his last name. When I did the STD I shortened his name to be more in line to what I like and he got bombarded with texts asking if the STD was for his wedding 😂😂😂 Some people thought it was spam (I did a text through the Knot) oh well! Now I’ve gone back to his formal name even though it’s his dads name too (he’s a 3rd) but it is what it is lol!!
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