Starting to Plan 101

The Italy option would not be good for invites to friends not well situated. That would be good only if they were inclined toward international travel for holidays and weddings. If you can find a planner focused on low cost weddings, that might help. The other option is to look for less costly venues, like community centers, maybe some churches. It sounds like some people (or all) will have to encounter some travel expenses, especially to get lower venue prices than CT

Unfortunately, the average US wedding cost around $30,000. So the >$20,000 is about right. I think reaching out to planners in the areas you are considering is a good first step. A lot of planners will do a no cost consultation with you where you can tell them your budget and they can let you know if what you envision is possible.

If you want a smaller wedding with mostly family and your closest friends, an Italy wedding sounds great. But it sounds like most of your friends wouldn't be able to attend. Just remember this is about what you and your fiancé want and what works best for you two!

In my experience guests tend to feel more imposed upon and less inclined to travel to a destination wedding that is local to neither the couple or either of their families whether foreign or domestic.

I don’t think the fact that you are all in different locations changes that perspective as much as some may believe. Certainly I’d take the idea of an international destination wedding like Italy off the table. All that does is shifts the costs from you to your guests which IMO is wrong.

Once you invite guests I’m afraid it’s no longer just about you and your fiance. People may sacrifice unreasonably to attend an occasion as special as a wedding and that absolutely becomes your responsibility.

To answer your question, one way to cut costs is to have a smaller wedding. It’s usually recommended to invite in circles if you want to avoid hurt feelings, for example immediate family only, children of immediate family but no others, first cousins but not second etc.


But if that’s not possible there are always options for a more casual type event that can accommodate everyone who should be there, for example a BBQ, picnic in a park, desserts and cocktails, cake and punch in a rented hall, a restaurant reception etc.

Hey there! So we actually contemplated the exact same! We live in Charlotte but friends and family are all over. Then talked to planners in Italy but that’s a long and expensive flight for guests. We ended up going with summit on cross mountain and the venue w coordinator was 10k. There were other options in the blue ridge mountains that were less though !

O ya and we are doing a smaller wedding! About 40 guests. That will help you with costs! If you do smaller you may only need a day of coordinator. We also skipped a rehearsal dinner and are doing it morning of. Only wine and beer no liquor!

View Quoted Comment Ty! Unfortunately future hubby does not want to get married in the mountains?!?!? I think I’m leaning toward Connecticut so the grandparents can come without issues. It’s just soooooooo expensive there and there are minimums! Going to have to make a trip home and do some digging for cheaper options up there