Starting Dinner w/o Newlyweds

If you are doing a first look, I don't think that you honestly need more pictures while your guests are eating dinner. You only get one wedding day. You should spend it with your guests as much as possible. And never, ever give up a chance to eat. Eating dinner privately would be rude and super weird, sorry.

I personally would find it odd just because I feel like the bride and groom should be seating to start and join us for dinner. We're doing a "grand entrance" just to be introduced, and I feel like I would want to see the bride and groom come in before I start eating. I don't know how anyone else feels though! You know your crowd much better than any of us do!

For comparison, our timeline is:

330pm first look and pictures, then 4pm ceremony starts

430pm cocktail hour and pictures

530pm reception, first dance, blessing and meal

645 toasts and parent dances

745 cake cutting and dessert

930 last dance and send off

I think it would be odd to eat dinner without the newlyweds, yes. I would do the pictures during cocktail hour instead and be there for the whole reception. That's what cocktail hours have traditionally been for, to entertain the guests while the couple is off taking pictures. I don't think the guests would think it's weird if you missed cocktail hour but they would think it was weird if you missed dinner

Eating privately? That would be a huge side eye from me. If you want a little privacy have a sweet heart table. People aren't going to be comfortable starting dinner at the party you're hosting without you even being there.

@Nicole, you probably mean a sweetheart table. Head tables are for wedding parties and aren't really done anymore.

We wanted to eat dinner separately so that we could spend some alone time together before being pulled in every direction and spend actual dinner time visiting each table (20 tables) to make sure we personally thanked our guests for coming

Nope, sorry. You can have your own table at the reception, but you absolutely cannot eat separately and have alone time them.

@Mary thanks for the timeline and @Kristin I like that idea

Not only would it be odd, but also rude.

We ate alone at our sweetheart table and no one bothered us since we ate at the same time as our guests. We also snuck out after dinner to get some alone time and make sure the vendors were fed right. In total, we were gone maybe 10 minutes.

Gone during dinner I'd find super odd though.

Ummmm no. Take pictures during cocktail hour. I understand not wanting a grand entrance, which is fine. You can just mosey in. Hell you can maybe even have guests start dinner before coming in. But you absolutely cannot eat dinner separately from your guests and come in when it is time to cut the cake!!

Honestly, you should be with your guests for more time than that. It sounds like you won't be part of dinner.

Dup

If you ate separately I as a guest would wonder if you were getting something better for dinner than I was

I would be so weirded out as a guest, like "where are the bride and groom!? We can't start without them??"

This sounds extremely selfish to me. If you want that much private time away from your guests, elope and don't have any guests.

Dinner is a buffet therefore we will be there for most of it just not the very beginning. My guests aren't concerned about if we're having a better meal, that's actually ridiculous. If taking 20min away from guests outside of the 5 hours they're there is selfish then such as life. For all they know we're taking pictures. At any rate, i do appreciate the actual suggestions/alternatives and even the dissenting views.

We'll most likely do additional pictures during cocktail hour, still not do a grand entrance, and spend the reception visiting the tables to personally thank guests for coming out

Well, enjoy your search for validation. Let us know when you're actually here for advice.

Not searching for validation and actually appreciated the dissenting views. Even adjusted our timeline (per my last comment) but you enjoy your quest for advice validation in wanting people to take it exactly as given.

There's a reason no one does this op, it's extremely weird and rude. But like lily said, we'll be here when you're ready to accept the advice of the overwhelming majority.