Started talking about wedding plans have the date but not engaged yet :-(!

Oh Leeann.. i'm sorry that you are feeling a little lost and sad about this. I feel you a bit.. I was hoping it would be my year for like 6 years and it finally happened for me on this past Valentines Day. I kinda thought it would happen, i just didnt know when. It is hard.. financially. But yaknow what.. there aren't any rules about having to be married within a certain time after an engagement.. if you and your FH dont mind getting engaged (because you LOVE eachother and want to commit to one another) then you can slowly over time save your $ and plan a small but very lovely wedding! It'll all be okay..and your best bet is not to over think it..don't feel sad because he doesnt propose. i think a lot of guys ..if they feel pressured, or like they are stressing to make ends meet, they wont be thinking abt marriage, rings or weddings.. they have this ego thing. they want to be sure they can provide for us first and foremost. Just be sure to give him credit where due and keep ur chin up

Please don't stress too much (I know this is easy for me to say and hard to do though) I was in the same boat- we set our date (6/5/10) well before we got engaged. I had even done some basic planning prior to the ring going on the finger. The main thing is that you are with a man who loves you and that you want to marry... it WILL happen. I get that money gets in the way- Ugh, but concentrate on the good stuff more than the bad.. you don't have any control over this one, so worrying is fruitless.... Hugs, T

Please dont take offense to this question, but how do you make wedding plans, and set a date if you have not been asked to marry? Or are not engaged? Do you mean that you two have discussed marriage but he hasnt formally asked you to be his wife? I wish you all the happiness in the world, so please dont be offended. This is just really new to me as Ive never heard of someone "telling" thier boyfriend we're getting married on such and such date and beginning to make plans without being asked.

No we both really agreed on the date after all its tight on money so no ring yet we started planning so that our loved ones would have more then enough time to save and be able to join us on our wedding day and theres nothing wrong with dreaming a little!

You can always get married at the courthouse then when finances improve, have the ceremony/reception on your anniversary....

I mean, just because you don't have a ring doesn't mean that you are NOT engaged, we talked about getting married and he "unofficially asked me" like 4 months before I got my ring... the ring is just for outsiders looking in..... if you know you are getting married then go ahead planning.... there is alot of DIY stuff you can do.... but like Tara said... you can always just go to the courthouse and get married and then have a "reception" a year or so later.... a young lady at my job, didn't get her ring until about 2 weeks before she got married.... so I mean it's just a matter of what you can afford and what your comfortable with..... I mean there is always VEGAS.... LMAO!!! but don't worry sweety it will all work out....

That happened to me recently. My boyfriend and I talked about marriage and he asked my parents for my hand and everything but was saving for a ring he really wanted to get me. I started planning the wedding this summer. We sent the date back in July. We visited venues and my mom and I even bought my dress lol. But I had no ring on my finger. We knew he was planning it and getting things together to do it so I wasnt worried. The week after I bought my dress he proposed "officially" at our house warming party.

Every girl has her "dream" wedding and there's nothing wrong with that. But at some point you just have to embrace the reality of your life and financial situation. You do what you can afford to do. After all it's the MARRIAGE that's most important - not the wedding. And if you guys are already living together....

Ok. I can completely understand the notion of not having a ring. In todays society that is completely normal to be engaged and then go ring shopping or to continue to save for the ring. Afterall a ring is just a symbol of what the two of you share. My comment was more in relation to you saying that you came up with a date to get married (not you both decided on a date), you said he hadnt asked you ( not you've decided to get marry just havent had the formal proposal). If its just a matter of you waiting for a ring then by all means plan your wedding!! You dont have to have a ring to be engaged. So please dont think I was trying to be negative on your situation.

I do feel your being some negative kinda made me cry actually may want to chose ur words more carefully. And yes I came home and said to him " hun I kinda seen a hall today and asked them to hold the date for us (he knew the date I really wanted) and he said that it was ok for us to have this date chosen its not like I planned this to happen and he knows. and it was a suggestion more so.

Well...I'll keep in mind not to post on your discussions any more. Youre the one that said you were depressed and were afraid that you would be dissapointed. I really gave you the advice that I would give to my own sister in a situation like this. The tone of your post was as if you were planning a wedding...wasnt engaged and were afraid of beign dissapointed. Not that you two were happily in love and the only thng missing was a ring....Hope everything works out for you and your wedding...

I think the tears may have come more from the situation you feel in, rather than what Bride to Be said. I saw no animosity or negativity in her post. She said what I was thinking, and probably in as tactful, straightforward, honest and careful way as anyone could have. There was no mean tone to her reply; and I truly felt her concern for you. It amazes me over and over how misunderstood a posting or reply can be read. I now try to always reread what someone wrote to me, as if I had written it now, and see if the "tone" changes when it "changes ownership".

Well said Rev Carleen! I don't think any of the ladies on WW would post negatively. We are here for advice and support. Sometimes it is difficult to interpret the tone w/in a post and maybe if you are feeling negative about your situation you may read it as a negative post? Everyone does things differently and it sounds like you and your FH are doing what works for you. I'm glad that as a couple you know you don't need a ring to make "it official". Now that you have a date in mind and a goal to reach you can start saving your pennies! I hope you get the wedding that you want and everything works out well for you. Keep your chin up, at the end of the day you may not get your dream wedding...but you'll always having your dream man

Hey Leann,

Congrats! Though we all love rings, you are not marrying the rings. Even on a very low budget you can make it happen.

I would suggest that you look in catalogs and find things you like and from there find something similar for a cheaper price. It is very possible to do.

I am the head volunteer at my children's school. I decided to have them a Jr. Prom. However, this was to raise money for the school so I needlessly to say I tried to cut every possible corner on spending money and I did. With ballons in the floor and ceiling, decorations on the table, (used school constuction paper and supplies, cut stars, covered windows, had star brust in the windows, background: shower curtain, leaf swag, spray painted silver, balloons, plastic table covers) and other little things. However, I did all this on less than $100 budget. And we raised 956.00 on admission along. $5 per student and parent.

What I am saying is just be creative and it will fall in place!

GOOD LUCK!

I would get married on the streets as long as im married to the I love.I really dont understand Big wedding's If too people really love each other it shouldn't matter where they get married.You can do a couple of things 1 of them get married in the same place your having the reception or 2. go to the court house then have a big reception. Anyway it goes It's your day not the people A attending.remember this is your day enjoy it no matter how big/small When you say (I DO)its to him not everybody else.Congrats and Goodluck

Here is my best advice. Set your budget and stick to it. It is so easy to get caught up into everything. But if you remember what is that you can go with your budget that will help. All my best to you and God Bless.

I really think some of you took my post wrong or I wrote it wrong I am 100 % in love with him he is more then I have ever dreamed about I am very lucky to have him and I don't care if we have rings or not or weather we get married in jeans and t shirts near a garbage dump lol. Any ways I am going to close this post now thanks for everyones advice.

How long have you two been together?