Start Time to put on invite

Don't do it. Those that arrive on time will start to get impatient. I think it's okay to put promptly at 4 though.

I swear FH family does this to us. They will have a gathering and tell us 3 and we get there nothing is ready and no one else is there. It's kind of annoying.

If the ceremony is at 4:00, you put 4:00. Adults know to show up at least a little bit before that. If you put 3:30 then guests will be showing up around 3:00 and have to wait for and hour.

Put the actually start time...like PP said those who do arrive on time could get annoyed if they have to wait longer than necessary.

I put 1.30 pm on our invites, ceremony started at 2pm. As it was a civil ceremony they have to start on time and a lot of people here assume the bride will be late, so they are also late. Anyone who we knew was particularly good at time keeping we told them if we saw them.. It all worked well, everyone said it was a good idea. You should know your own relatives though, mine wouldn't be on time to safe there lives!!

I would just put four.

We decided to put an earlier time, but NOT for people to get there early. We are having a casual wedding, and the bar will be *open* as people arrive. So we're doing a split cocktail hour for people to socialize, grab some wine, then go over to the ceremony site! When we published the invitations, we intended the wedding to be right at 6. But I like this idea so much more.

This bride will not be late! I put the actual start time, if people are late, oh well, that's on them!

I like the split cocktail hour if you have guests who are gonna be late for their own funeral.

Yea, this is tricky as I know our social circle assumes things will start late. To put things in perspective though, we went to our venue with the DJ to see how the room is laid out (DOC suggest we come during a wedding day set up). So we got there at 2:30. While waiting on the DJ, we saw a couple arrive around 2:45. We thought, shoot we won't be able to see the room since the wedding must be starting soon. Nope the wedding start time on the sign inside said 4:30! After visiting, we were outside chatting. Another guest (actually knew the dj) stopped to say hello and mentioned being "late" as she got there around 4pm. We let her know she was actually early since the welcome sign said 4:30. She told us the invite said 3:30. Poor early guests had to sit there for over an hour. Cant win, but I'd rather not punish the early guests to ensure the late guests don't miss the ceremony.

I wasnt sure about this either until I looked it up. I will also put exact start time. Ppl show up early anyways.

I would put the actual time it starts

This isn't a black or white response. You know your crowd. You do what is a cultural norm for your crowd.

The white American culture is very monochronic but other cultures such as Hispanics are ploychronic and more flexible on time. My family is Hispanic and if I said 4:00 on an invitation and actually started at 4:00 everyone would be kinda bummed and think I'm being pushy. It is just the norm for us that 4:00 actually means 4:00ish. That being said, I would put 3:30 on an invite because 98% of my guests are Hispanic.

However, if I were hosting a party for my co-workers were 100% of them are white Americans I would put 4:00 and start sharply at 4:00.

So it really just depends on the majority of your crowd. If you have a very mixed crowd maybe say 10 or 15minutes earlier but no more than that so as to not keep monochronic guest waiting too long but not to catch polychronic guests off gaurd.

Also, I'm Cuban American so I really do run on both times. I always consider who my host is and plan accordingly. Your guests should do the same.

In my experience, most people know they need to be there seated by the start time on the invitation and therefore show up 15-30 minutes early.

If you think parking could be tricky, an insert card or note on your website could warn guests of the parking situation and you could subtly suggest guests leave enough time to deal with parking.

@futuremcmalcolm so that lady arrived at four when she was told 3.30 so technically the was late from what they had told her,if she had been told the correct time.if 4.30 she probably wouldn't have been there until five and it would have all been over!! OK I do think putting an hour early on the invite is a bit much. As I said I put a half hour early on our invite. I got there ten minutes early to take photos, in the ten minutes I took the photos and while I was waiting outside the door to go in about ten couples arrived, if I had given them the correct time they would have missed the whole thing!!

I'd just put the start time for the ceremony. If you are worried you can plan with your officiant to start about 5 minutes late in case of stragglers. Adults know how to leave on time and usually are extra careful with weddings.

IMO it's based on your crowd, culture, and venue. Our coordinator (who also owns the venue which is a farm) recommended putting 4:15 even though our ceremony starts at 4:30 because the ceremony site is a short walk from the parking. An hour is crazy but depending on the venue I see nothing wrong with a 15 min buffer.

I would put in the invitation at 4 but really start at 4:15... Usually 15 minutes is a good amount of time to let the stragglers get there on time.

I agree with the ideas to put "promptly at 4:00" on your invitations and also attach something on there or on your website that warns the guests of parking difficulties.

This is always tricky - also: loved learning about mono/polychronic systems @Nessa!

It is also generational. Boomers and Gen Xers are more of the '15 minutes early' crowd (again, these are generalizations) while Millennials view times as 'suggestions' - getting there right at 4:00 or even a few minutes after is okay. You'd need to know your crowd.

I day-of coordinated a wedding where I was told to give a 15-minute buffer and not a single person was still trying to come and get seated at start time so we went ahead. I also just attended a wedding where the start time was 3:00 and at almost 3:30 it finally got started. At around 3:15 I noticed that I (and other guests) were getting antsy, looking around/back at the doors, checking watches/time, etc.

I think if you are concerned, a 15-minute buffer is MAX that I would do, and then have your DOC or whoever is directing just watch and start when it looks like the coast is clear of stragglers.

It also depends on the venue - at a church or inside location where late guests can sneak in and not be seen drawing attention to themselves, go ahead and start at the time of the invite. If it is an outdoor/open area venue and it will be so obvious that guests are scurrying down from the parking area and all eyes are on them, it might be worth it to give a little wait time.

Doing this punishes the people who do arrive early. If you put 3:30 your conscientious guests will arrive at 3:00 and have to wait an hour.