Spouse of the Bridal Party

If this is the boat you’re in, I’ll assume you won’t likely be alone. Are there other groomsmen with spouses who don’t know anyone? Even if you don’t know them, you could end up making your own fun getting to know each other.

Lord that sounds hellish. I think you're fine to skip the ceremony honestly.

Hopefully you'll still be seated with FH. I was under the impression that the head table included spouses?

Otherwise, go to cocktail hour between & make friends with the bartender.

I have been in the same situation. My partner was a groomsman at a wedding in the Caribbean that was still held after all the hurricanes hit because they would not be able to have any of their money returned- also a reason why wedding insurance can be CRITICAL! I encourage you to still try to attend the wedding; it is unlikely that anybody would be talking much during the ceremony, just arrive closer to the start time. People are generally very open at weddings and over food in general, so I don't imagine it will be difficult to find someone to share conversation with at the reception, especially if the bride and groom are diligent about their seating arrangements. If all else fails, you can make the trip into a scouting effort and use the experience of their wedding to make notes for your own. Best luck to you and try to have fun.

Ouch! That's awkward. This is the main reason I'm not doing a head table! I couldn't imagine seating a couple separately. If you're not terribly close topthe groom, I think you're fine to wait til the reception since you'll be alone all morning anyway.

Ugh I'm so sorry to hear this! I was just talking about this situation with my FH. I stressed that I wanted wedding party SOs and even friends that won't know anyone else to be seated together (for example, our friends is really good friends with all of the groomsmen, and would have a much better time seated with them).

Honestly, I'd still go to the ceremony and cocktail hour! I know it'll be tough and awkward but who knows, maybe you'll meet someone! I'm an introvert so I always roll my eyes when people tell me this, but weddings are a little different because you all have some sort of connection to the bride and/or groom.

I was in a very similar situation in December! FH was in a wedding that was held at the couple’s house in the middle of nowhere, out of town. I ended up just going with him before the ceremony and it turned out one of the other groomsnen’s girlfriends did the same. so I at least had someone to hang out with while FH was occupied with wedding activities. Are they having a rehearsal dinner the night before? That’s where I met the other groomsmen’s girlfriens and made the plan to hang with her during the ceremony. Good luck!

I think most adults should be able to attend the ceremony and the reception on your own.

You will get a much more relaxed start to your day than your FH- take advantage of it. Have a luxurious bath or a spa treatment. Have room service for breakfast with a mimosa. Make it a mini holiday for one.

No one would be talking during the ceremony anyhow, and you are free to mix and mingle during cocktail hour.

If you are seated with other SO's of wedding party members, you all will already have one thing in common. Make social conversation. We're only talking the duration of dinner here.

Lol omg same situation happened to me 2 years ago!!! Never met the bride, met the groom a few times and he was a close friend of my FH. We weren't engaged yet, but my FH was in the wedding and it was in a different state. My name wasn't even listed on the invitation, not even just "guest." FH asked the groom if I was invited and he assured him that I was but I just did not feel comfortable going so I didn't. Felt somewhat bad for making FH go alone but he knew a lot of the people there, I knew no one but him and the groom. I did NOT regret not going.

I was in almost the exact same situation last year, even the “and guest” invite. I just didn’t go to any of it and stayed home to relax.

View Quoted Comment I know there's a rehearsal, but I don't know the details of the dinner. That's a good idea to make a few friends beforehand.... assuming I'm invited that is!

I honestly would be annoyed if my spouse was close enough to the groom to be his groomsman and they referred to me as “and guest.” Even a couple i had never met before (H’s friend) referred to me by name on our invite.

I would be annoyed if they did a head table and didn’t allow spouses/significant others to sit with the bridal party but I would make the best of it. Assuming we’re staying a hotel (we never drive to weddings), I’d start the morning with a spa and breakfast and mimosas and make sure I looked killer for the wedding. I’d make friends at the rehearsal dinner or during cocktail hour. I would take full advantage of the open bar. I make friends easier the more I drink, lol. As soon as dinner is over, you can be with your spouse.

Exactly the reason I hate head tables. Thank god people here don’t do that anymore. Let people sit with their spouses. You don’t need to put them on display . Smh

Unless my FH felt strongly that I attend, i'd probably let him go alone or meet him after dinner if it was nearby. Sometimes you have more fun just hanging out with your childhood friends yourself....

Have you confirmed all these details? I’m doing a head table where all the dates sit with us, but I haven’t told everyone yet because i don’t know some of the groomsmen’s spouses and they’ll see it when they arrive! Our wedding is out in the middle of no where too but there’s a saloon we’re planning on telling people about when they get here that they can kill time at! Maybe just play it by ear and mingle at the rehearsal dinner so you can make friends and not be feeling so awkward.

View Quoted Comment I’ve actuallg never been to a wedding where spouses sat with the bridal party. Coming to wedding wire was the first time I’ve ever heard of the idea of putting them together to be honest.

OP is probably have a relaxing morning and go to the ceremony and everything. It would be a fun chance to meet any other spouses alone. Is it a large wedding party?

What does your fiance think about you skipping it? Is it possible addressing you as guest was nothing personal? especially if you've never met the bride, it could simply be just an honest mistake.

View Quoted Comment

Yeah, I agree Ive never heard of that, I think that would be totally weird to have the spouse at the bridal party table too. If you cant stand to sit at table with people you don't know for one night, then the might cause more problems. Take a chance and talk with the other plus ones.

View Quoted Comment I'm going to go. Since it's pretty far from home we'll be making a small getaway out of it.

I didn't take the "And Guest" too personally. However i thought it would've been pretty easy for her FH to text my FH, or even look on Facebook and get my name. Seems more lazy than rude.

This is why I hate head tables! It's one thing to have to wait around while they take pictures and what not but to not be able to eat together is beyond me. I've been in this situation before, twice! Once I think FH mom asked if I could be invited too, we had only been dating a few months, and after I found out she asked I was really embarrassed. But she was the photographer and FH was a groomsman so I still felt really isolated and we hardly saw each other the whole night. They took pictures before the ceremony, after the ceremony, after dinner when it was dark so they could be under the lights, etc. I ended up getting really irritated because I didn't know it would be like that and wished I had stayed home. We ended up leaving early (around 9) because we had been there since 8am (including me) and I was so over it.

The second time he was a groomsman in his best friends wedding, this was after we bought our house, but before we got engaged. I knew a lot of his friends at this point, and while most of them were in the bridal party, some of them were not so i was seated with them. It was a little more tolerable but we still couldn't eat together, I had to wait around a lot, etc. Thankfully, all of his friends are married now, lol, and we get to go to weddings just as guests, not bridal party.

View Quoted Comment

Wedding wire was the first time I had ever heard of it. I am actually including them now but it still is definitely a concept not practiced everywhere. Some people don't feel comfortable being alone during dinner. I personally am very outgoing and so is FH but I have friends who I know would feel awkward. Everyone is different and has to find what works best for them.