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Super March 2016

Spinoff: how to tell people my ceremony isn't "legal"?

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sandpiper, on March 30, 2015 at 10:45 AM

Posted in Planning 26

I saw in the "topics that don't go over well" thread that some people think it's dishonest if you don't tell your guests that your wedding ceremony isn't legally binding. I'm having a DW in a country where getting legally married as a foreigner is a huge pain in the ass. So we're going to have a...

I saw in the "topics that don't go over well" thread that some people think it's dishonest if you don't tell your guests that your wedding ceremony isn't legally binding.

I'm having a DW in a country where getting legally married as a foreigner is a huge pain in the ass. So we're going to have a brief JoP ceremony at my grandma's place the week before or after, and have FH's sister officiate our non-legal ceremony that everyone's invited to.

It's not a secret by any means. Our close families know and I've mentioned to some friends. Do I need to do something to "get the word out" to other guests? I can't think of a way to do it that wouldn't seem strange or awkward, and I didn't think anybody would care. But now I'm second guessing myself. I don't want any of my guests to think I'm being "misleading" or just throwing a party to be a "princess for a day."

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26 Comments

Devoted November 2015
Lauren and John · on March 30, 2015 at 1:49 PM
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None of their business IMO.. you can word it something like "celebrating the union of..." but its up to you
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Nancy Taussig · on March 30, 2015 at 1:56 PM
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I officiate destination weddings for couples from all over the US and from other countries. It is not difficult to get married in Florida and it is recognized everywhere.

I have also done "re-enactments" when the couples got married previously (sometimes I've done both ceremonies). I just word it a little bit differently from a wedding or a vow renewal.
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Savvy June 2015
Claire · on March 30, 2015 at 3:57 PM
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Similar situation here.

FH's home country has strict requirements to register the marriage.

We're doing our legal paperwork in conjunction with a typical Arabic contract and filing with the Embassy the week before the wedding.

The wedding will be a typical American event. Invitations say "...join at the celebration of our marriage..."

I'm not doing anything to get the word out. I am telling friends and family when they ask about planning, and so far everyone understands. (Of course, we also had to postpone for a year due to the same registration process)

ETA: If anyone questions me about why we're doing ours this way, I'll tell them that the American wedding is a blessing of our relationship and the public statement of our commitment in addition to the celebration.
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Super September 2015
MS4 · on March 30, 2015 at 4:12 PM
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I saw an AMAZING invitation that dealt with this so tactfully. It said:

Bride and Groom are getting married!
(In a private ceremony on XX date)
Join the Newlyweds at their wedding reception on YY date to celebrate their new marriage!
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Super May 2015
JoyBekee · on March 30, 2015 at 4:43 PM
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Similarly, we're getting married in England "Catholic Ceremony" however, we have our civil ceremony done, cos we're Canadians. The point is clear, Britain only allow a wedding in their country if you already have proof of a legal marriage. We only get a certificate from the church. We don't intend to mention it to our guests, cos it doesn't really matter in my community; cos the church ceremony trumps all.
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Master October 2015
MrsA · on March 30, 2015 at 4:50 PM
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Another for the invites....Exchanging vows.
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