"sorry you are not invited" cards

The announcement after the wedding would be nice, I received one years ago that the couple said something along the lines - big weddings aren’t our thing, but you were with us in our hearts... (it’s been a few yrs., so I forget the full verbiage).

Omg lol could you imagine knowing someone is getting married, getting an envelope in the mail from them, getting excited and thinking that it's a wedding invitation only to open it up and see that they literally sent you a card letting you know you're not invited? I definitely see the point behind it but good grief that sounds like it could be very disappointing for some people.

Ask anyone who thinks it a good idea, if in his workplace, or his sorts club, if he would like it it the boss or captain took time out to announce all the reasons you and three other people would never get a promotion or raise other people were getting. By 8 years old, kids start coming to understand that parties are limited things. Families do not host 16 kids in a room that seats 6 for a birthday party. Your neighbor or brother may be chosen, not you. To enumerate the reasons you as host are not inviting people is always considered bad manners. If someone's fiancé or Dad does not know this, tell him. Good manners means you mention who is invited, not who is not. And that you never list reasons. Because people may feel that they qualify, and someone else does not. Then you get in to mom always liked you best arguments. Hosts invite, for their own reasons. And the only polite thing is for their family and friends to assume, everyone has limits on space and money to spend, and must seriously limit their invitations accordingly. Assume people k ow that by adulthood. To flat out tell them as in the original post, is acting like they are too childish to have figured that out, or, have never had friends who would invite them to anything, thus never had the opportunity to figure it out, or, that they have never themselves hosted anything, and learned the ins and outs of things. And you do not make it obvious you assume they are childish, or outcasts, or always enjoy the hospitality of others without reciprocating. None if which is nice to say or imply, with a, why you are not invited letter. Then again, you could look at your fiancé, Dad, or whoever, and just say, if you cannot figure out why it is a bad idea, you are socially hopeless.😈 Change the subject and disagree about other things.

I'm having the same dilemma within my planning now.

View Quoted Comment Sorry, but it’s very inappropriate. Invitations extend hospitality. To formally send a notification that you aren’t inviting them to something is beyond rude. Sending wedding announcements after the fact is fine, but you’d still say nothing about being sorry they weren’t invited. If anyone asks or it comes up just say it’s a small wedding. No registry link of course.

View Quoted Comment Apparently, the majoriry of your post was deleted.