soooo..if you're having a secret civil ceremony...

Personally, I am not in this situation, but my brother and his wife did get married about 6 months before their "big" wedding. They literally only told the people who needed to know, like our parents and her mom, and maybe a few very close friends, and of course the Pastor (the wording at the Cermony was a Celebration of Marriage instead of Marriage) Then they let everyone else think that it was the first time they were getting married. They didn't wear their wedding bands around people that didn't know, which wasn't a problem for them because they lived pretty far away. But if you want to keep a secret there shouldn't be a big problem doing so. Also make sure to let those you do know that you aren't "announcing it the world" so they know not to share the secret with everyone. Good luck! =)

Thanks Gidge!! Good advice I'm excited.. i just booked our appt. to go apply for our marriage license!! YAYYYY!

We had ours a few weeks ago, but our wedding is in September. We did for similar reasons to yours--all related to health insurance and finances. We didn't exchange rings at the civil ceremony (haven't even bought them yet), and we still use the words "fiance" and "engaged," even just around each other. We're looking at the civil ceremony as a bunch of paperwork and our wedding as the beginning of our marriage. The only people who know are my immediate family, his BM (who was our witness) and the people at Blue Cross Blue Shield.

We're thinking about doing a secret ceremony and only telling the BM and MOH. BM and his wife will be our witnesses and MOH is only in the know because she won't be signing a marriage certificate on our wedding day. If we do this, we're having one of my cousins who's a minister perform the ceremony instead of the original pastor (BM's grandfather) because it would mean alot to my family and it's free (lol)... I think you should def not wear rings until the wedding. When you're excited, it's hard enough to hold off on telling everyone. It'll be even harder to hide the truth when someone's asking you about this ring you're so proud of. Good luck!

This isn't a stupid question at all and at times I go back and forth about the rings lol. Both of our families know we will be legally married for immigration pupouses. In fact his mom and my mom will be at our ceremony held in a garden this summer. However, we are thinking of saving the rings for our ceremony a yr later in the DR so it will feel extra speial. If ppl ask we will not lie most ppl are totally cool with it! In fact I asked my brotehr and sister if he wanted to come to the ceremony in the garden and they were both like no I dont need to see it twice lol...Ill be at the wedding in the DR.

We get asked this all the time, only "need to know" people have been told we are already legal. We had our civil ceremony 4 1/2 months ago and the wedding is on our 1yr anniversary. My "engagement" ring is a band w/diamonds, I just tell people he knew I wouldn't like a solitaire and since he works with the public he just told family he was tired of getting hit on so he wears his band to show people he is TAKEN. lol

Ravenk, that is hilarious...

well u can still wear it at home? but don't if u don't want questions.......

I'm thinking we are going to have to have a secret ceremony just because or family is full of drama!!

We are in a similar situation. We got engaged Sept 5,2009 and got married right away(Sept 24th,2009) because of insurance issue ( we actually went to the court house, applied for a license and my friend who is a notary signed it) No one knows but my closest friends and recently my mom.We didnt even exchanged vows. I would love to get married on our one yr anniverssarry but it's hurricaine season here in south fl. Sigh -- My engagemtn ring which is not tradicional will be my wedding ring as well ... I have cried today thought because I have been lying all along to my sisters, all the family actually and my kids. They have no idea we got married already--everything is so expensive..and there's to much drama with out of state guests ( it seems) I wish both of you love and besat wishes.. hang in there ..

I agree with FH. No bands. Just continue to wear your e-ring.