Soon-to-be stepdaughter as flower girl? Brother as groomsman?

Your wedding day is well over 1 year away! Step away from the wedding planning and enjoy your engagement!!! You just got engaged yesterday! Take some time to enjoy it for a few months before diving head first into the planning.

If the 10 year old wants to be a flower girl, let it be. As for groomsmen it's a personal choice for your groom to make on who he wants standing up there with him.

I guess I'm just nervous! I've never done this before, so I have no idea how far in advance I need to start thinking about these things, especially since I'll be doing it largely on my own. I'm sure his daughter would be thrilled, we haven't had a chance to ask her yet. I just thought she might like a little more responsibility. And my fiancé's cool with my brother being a groomsman if need be. But you're right, I should probably enjoy the engagement first before I start turning into a bridezilla. Thank you for your quick response

Meh, I don't really think people want responsibility, especially kids. They just want to feel important. I'd let her guide you on how she wants to be involved, I'm sure at her age she'll have some opinions. If she asks to be a FG I'd say sure.

Otherwise I'd wait to make/announce any final WP decisions until 8-10 months out. And start with the actual people in your life and work from there. If you go hunting through your cousins for a kid of "flower girl age" it's not as meaningful IMO. Your brother can stand on your side if you're close (my brother was my MOH and he rocked), your sides can be uneven, you don't need ringbearers or flower girls or a wedding party at all if you don't want one. Ask the people you WANT, not the people you think you SHOULD ask, just be aware of family dynamics - like, if the norm in FH's family is that siblings are always in the wedding and you don't ask them, will it hurt their feelings and hurt your relationship? That kind of thing.

Deep breath!

My future stepson will be our ring bearer. He's 8 now, and will be about 9-10 when FH and I get married. I don't have an issue with it.

Hi Kris,

Thank you for your response. I do want her to feel important, since she will be my stepdaughter soon (and has been waiting for us to get married for a couple of years now).

I understand about it not being as meaningful to "hunt" for people. I'm already thinking it won't be very traditional and, as much as I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, I also have to think about what we both want, which is a small wedding. Right now the only definite is my sister as MOH; everything else is flexible. But I am perfectly OK with waiting a little while longer to make and finalize plans

Hi Future Mrs. Logan,

I just wasn't sure about what the typical ages for those roles are. I've only been to one wedding, and the flower girl and ring bearer were probably 5 or 6. But I do think having future stepchildren be involved is more important than whatever the "norm" is

As stated, enjoy your Engagement and step back for a while. As far as your future step daughter, she can also be a Jr. Bridesmaid. My daughter is getting married in December, and they haven't told the flower girl that she's in the bridal party yet (the mom knows) because they know it would be everyday, when is Aunt Jen's wedding?

Breath a little, and then as the time gets closer sit with her and your FH and talk about what she wants. She might not want to be in the wedding party at all, and that's fine too!

Check out the web site www.idotaketwo.com for some great advice.

Good luck

So now its been 6 years, How did everything turn out?

Hahaha I was so puzzled to see this post! what's happening!?