Some people just dont get no babies at the wedding!

We are close with one of our neighbors who does babysitting full time out of her house and also gave some other babysitting options. However, last weekend she asked if her sister and her sisters friend (who is now the nanny at their house-another story) can come to the ceremony and cocktail hour. I said yes. Then later my mom said you know that means the baby too? First of all I do not know the nanny lady - she wasnt invited. and cant she watch the baby at the hotel?????????? My mother wants the baby to be at the wedding bc its her first grandchild. we are very concerned about crying during the wedding since we made the ceremony very personal. Now i have to try and discuss it with her again- and she takes everything so personal- UGH! People!

Seriously, stand your ground.

I understand. But for family babies, I would allow them. I'm sure if the baby cries, they will take it outside. Your mom would really appreciate this. Good luck!

You need to be firm. You cannot make special arrangements in this situation. I would call SIL and make it clear that you LOVE the baby, but is NOT allowed at the ceremony nor the reception, no exceptions for reasons that you stated. That is all you need to do, the rest is up to her.

Stand up for yourself-- if you don't want kids/babies to be there, that is your decision and your guests need to respect that!

I personally feel there is a big difference between guest's babies, and babies that are immediate family. I'm all for having your nieces/nephews there and having no kids for other guests. And honestly, you're in such a bliss state that you don't notice much of the action and noise around you. And I doubt having one immediate family member who happens to be 6 months old will niether ruin the day or fall off the mountain (which I get the concern for the older kids that are mobile on their own)

You need to pick your battles carefully. If your parents are pitching any money in, and they request that their only grandchild be there, then go for it. If you don't, it could be a long and painful process until the big day, and heaven only knows how long after.

Sure they can! They can start walking and just keep walking until they are out of earshot. In other words, I agree with FMS. Is your mom helping pay for this wedding? And it's her first grandchild...pick your battles wisely.

The problem is the ceremony is outside and its in a big open area where u could not take the baby anywhere else if it starts crying! ugh!

I understand completely my sister just had a baby so by the time my wedding comes around she will be about 8 months old and I told her no babies at the wedding..... She is trying to put up a fight. I told her that her BF's dad can watch the kid for one day it will not be the end of the world but she constantly brings it up every time I see her but it isn't fair if I allow one baby to go and not all of my other baby cousins......... Just stand your ground they will understand the baby would just be too much for everything that is happening that day

Let me ask you this, will one baby who might cry a little, maybe not, actually ruin your day? Will it pysically stop you from getting married to the man of your dreams?

I have to disagree JohnAmanda, immediate children (nieces, nephews, your own) are fine at a wedding were kids aren't allowed for other guests. It's when you pick and choose what other guests can bring kids that gets to be on the rude side.

I disagree JohnAmanda. Too much for who? Certainly not the bride who is busy getting married.

I dislike when people talk about babies like they mean nothing. They are family, after all.

Sure, if every guest brought their baby, it would be chaos. But most guests will want a night off and hire a sitter. Family is different.

I disagree with some. If you state NO CHILDREN, the you must stick with NO CHILDREN. Do you know how many guests will be PO'd if you allow "special exceptions"?!?!?!!! I definitely will not be "that bride".

Being a first time parent is hard, stressful and worrying for alot of parents. Ultimately, it's your decision, just choose your battles wisely.

I would imagine they would like a night off too! But they are super attached to the baby to the point where they have it sleep in their bed with them still - which they know is unhealthy and not safe- we've told them. They also have their sister from france here who is helping and she was invited to the wedding as well. Now they hired a nanny who is going to be in town for the wedding too and is friends with the sister- i dont understand why she cant just watch the baby! I'll have to confront her- but shes from france and very super bossy and argumentative....\

Some couples are not comfortable leaving a young baby with someone else, especially if the person who would have to watch the baby is a non-family member-- which can be tough for weddings, because sometimes the family of that person is all invited and there would be nobody left to watch the baby. In that case I would consider an exception. However, this person already has some sort of nanny who wasn't actually invited to the wedding... so, I personally don't see the issue with leaving the baby with her...

No the baby wont ruin it- unless it cries during hte ceremony- but i have many cousins who have children/babies as well- and i dont want to start a huge fight over it!

But seriously, is your mom paying for some of the wedding? If you don't want to answer, you don't have to, but let me just assume she is.

If she is, not allowing her first grandchild there is akin to a slap in the face. Your cousins will understand because if they got married, they had it their way and if they aren't married yet, when they get to planning their own weddings, they will understand.

As a guest, I would never be offended if our (future) children weren't invited, yet the couple's own nieces and nephews were.

From my perspective, I'd rather have one niece there, than 2-3 people I do not know.

I'm sorry, I still don't understand the issue if the baby cries during the ceremony, it won't take away from the meaning of the ceremony, or the vows you tell your husband, it won't prevent you from getting married, sure, some guests may turn their heads to look, but the look at other random crap around them during weddings anyway. Not intentinally being mean or rude if it seems that way, I just don't understand.

@Amanda, that's the reason why I didn't allow kids at the wedding too-- because if I made an exception for some I would be afraid my other guests might be upset that they had to go through the trouble of hiring a sitter or whatever.

If I had allowed kids at my wedding, it would have been an additional 22 plates, if I remember correctly... and yeah my caterer did have a "kids'meal" price, but that still adds up with so many!!

We did have a minor issue with my husband's cousins wanting to bring their kids, but my MIL politely explained our reasons and they ultimately were okay with it.