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JJWed2018
Super June 2018

Some kids allowed at adults only wedding??

JJWed2018, on March 13, 2017 at 6:26 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 14

I need opinions! We are having an adults only wedding. However, we have 5 kids that have a role in our ceremony (flower girl, ring bearer, etc.) and it is unrealistic (to me) to ask their parents to have them leave for the reception. These kids are our close family and it is important to us to have them be a part of our big day. But we don't want to open the invitation to everyone's kids because that would be close to 20 kids and we have a guest list of only 100. And the vibe at a wedding with 20 kids is totally different than what we want. I am worried that people might be upset that our wedding website says adults only, but there will be 5 kids there.... Is it wrong for us to do it this way?

14 Comments

Latest activity by Red, on December 8, 2017 at 12:01 AM
  • Jaclyn
    Super September 2018
    Jaclyn ·
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    I am having 3 little cousins (all will be under 11) and they are the only kids allowed at the reception because they are in the wedding.

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  • Jay Farrell
    Jay Farrell ·
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    Nope, it's right as rain.

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  • Bemyguest
    Master April 2017
    Bemyguest ·
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    Melissa is right, bridal party children are the exception. You can also invite children in social circles. As in, you invite all your nieces and nephews but no other kids, etc.

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  • Elizabeth
    Master December 2016
    Elizabeth ·
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    You're fine. It would be rude to send those children home. All bridal party children have to be invited to the reception, or else it looks like you're just using them for props.

    If anyone gets offended, that's on them. Not your problem.

    ETA: make sure you also invite the siblings of bridal party children as it's not cool to split up siblings if they're minors. So if your 6-year-old flower girl has an 8-year-old brother, both should be invited even if the brother wasn't in the wedding.

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  • JJWed2018
    Super June 2018
    JJWed2018 ·
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    Elizabeth I definitely did that! my fiancé has a ton of nieces and one nephew. he is only close to his sisters 3 kids. the sisters are both too old to be flower girls so they will have special jobs so all three of the siblings are included. the oldest will be pulling her 2 year old brother in a wagon. he will have a bubble gun. and the middle daughter will walk down the aisle right before me holding a sign that says "uncle Bryce, here comes your bride." then the other set of siblings in it are my nieces. one is the flower girl. her little sister will only be about 8 months old at the time so she will sit in the wagon with my fiancés nephew who will have the bubbles. I had to get a little creative with ways to include all of the kids! haha hopefully it all looks cute!

    However, my main concern when posting this was my fiancés older brother. He can be very irrational and gets upset easily... he has 4 kids of his own and im worried that after I tell them no kids (which could piss them off) and then they find out his sisters kids are in it they will totally freak out and even threaten not to come.... my future in laws have already warned me to be prepared for that possible outcome.... I would hate for them to not show up or have an issue with us...

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  • April
    Devoted July 2018
    April ·
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    Kids in the bridal party are an exception, and so are immediate family, and it sounds like these kids are both. You're fine just inviting them.

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  • lyla
    Master July 2017
    lyla ·
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    Eek I can see your issue. How many kids would it add if you let all nephews and nieces (but no other kids) come to the wedding?

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  • A
    Dedicated April 2016
    AdiosNever ·
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    I'm glad this was asked. I was wondering the same. We're having my daughter, my niece and his niece and nephew and that's it. Feel relieved knowing it's not rude

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  • Linds
    Master March 2017
    Linds ·
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    We invited in circles. My nephews will be at the wedding (and escorting my mom and sister into the ceremony). FH's cousins are all bringing their kids. I don't have any cousins with kids coming - so that's where we drew our line. It turned out to be 10 children.

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  • GrnSubmarine
    Devoted November 2017
    GrnSubmarine ·
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    We are having adults only with the exception of "ring bearer" and "flower girl" who are FH's nieces (ages 7 and 11).

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  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
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    That is just fine. Leave it as is.

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  • Stephannie
    Super December 2017
    Stephannie ·
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    We are only inviting our neice and nephews (although two nephews won't be coming , 2 and 9 months) and the neice and newphew will be 5 but my sister is my MOH. and I also have a 13 year old brother which FH mom thinks that their cousins will be mad because their son is the same age. But we are standing firm and it's my brother - but I also just don't feel bad about it.

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  • JNav
    Devoted September 2017
    JNav ·
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    Don't send the kids in the party home for the reception. Other than that it's totally fine bc they're in the bridal party. I'm doing the same exact thing. My nephews are the only little kids invited bc they're in the party. I'm having 16 and older only because I had to fulfill my minimum at the venue hahaha

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  • R
    Just Said Yes April 2018
    Red ·
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    Im in a similiar situation, my venue counts children 2 and up so if everyone brought their kid it triples my head count and I have 60 couples and almost half have kids. Some are very close but I cant afford to feed everyones kids-how do I word it so I dont offend on my rsvp for those who cant or dont see my wedding website?

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