Some Family Members Want Me to Move the Wedding Date... But I Don't Want To!

First rule of wedding planning: you can't make everyone happy.

I'd say stick to your date. In the end you're the one that will be celebrating this anniversary for years to come, you're the one who is going to care about the significance. I'm sure your cousin will be bummed to miss it but you can never please everyone. Say you move the date and all of a sudden your friend from high school can't make it, or your FH's cousin can't make it. There will always be people that can't make it. If it was like your close sister or something I could see it being an issue, but you're not that close to the cousin anyway.

I missed a cousin's wedding because I was studying for an exam for my masters. I couldn't change the date of my exam and I never would have asked her to change it for me. Another cousin won't be coming to my wedding because she has a close friend getting married the same day. Things come up that aren't anticipated. Who knows, you may change your date then your cousin comes down with a cold. Anything can happen, stick to the day YOU want.

HiH nailed it. There's always going to be some reason some people won't be able to make your wedding. You can't change your date to make everyone happy because it's virtually impossible. If it was a close family member MAYBE, but not a cousin that you're not that close to. If your date works for you and the majority of your guests, stick to your guns.

Happy In Hawaii did nail it in saying that you could change the date for a person and that person could come down with an emergency and not even make your wedding after all, and you went through all that trouble. And yes, if I've learned anything this past year of wedding planning, it is that we will never be able to please everyone. Just like not everyone is going to like the vibe of my wedding. I'm more old fashioned and vintage, some people hate vintage and prefer more contemporary styles. Put bluntly, I've learned to grow some pretty thick skin during this wedding planning process. I can totally relate to your dilemma (date twin). It is my brother's 5th year wedding anniversary. His wife (my SIL) was pis@ed that I chose 10/17 and texted me a nasty message about me choosing her wedding date! I didn't realize it was their wedding anniversary. I attended their wedding years ago, yes, and knew that the date I chose was close to their anniversary, and I remember asking my mom when their anniversary date was, that I needed to know because I was in discussions with the venue about dates, and my mom couldn't quite remember, so we decided it was probably the same week, but I wasn't going to arrange my life over my brother's anniversary. Its just ridiculous. There are also a few of my guests who have birthdays on 10/17. Its not as if I were stealing her thunder by taking the same date, so we booked it. The date worked for us financially. It was the 1st Saturday wedding available under the new off-season rates, yet still a beautiful time of the year weather-wise, the venue really pushed this on us and used it as an enticing selling point to get us to commit to the date. It worked for us. I LOVE FALL and October is my favorite month. Our 1st date was the 1st Saturday in October. AND FH's b-day is the next day! He wanted it that way for honeymoon, and work obligation purposes. He said the wedding and then birthday the next day makes it that much more exciting. He gets to go away on vacation, take leave from work, to celebrate his marriage and his birthday. The date worked for US!! And who is paying for this wedding? In our case, WE are. So, therefore, nobody should tell us when to get married. I would do what is best for you and FH. For us, this date worked best for us, so much so that another date would not work better, and it came down to watching out for our well-being. Really, for us, ultimately, it was financial and convenience.

Stick to your date. Everyone isn't going to make it. Wouldn't you be mad if you moved it and they still didn't come? It's your day, not theirs.

Yup! HiH nailed it, you can't make everyone happy, and moving the date because one person can't attend might mean that two others can't attend - and then you'll have to move the date again, repeat.

Hey date twin, i agree with HIH. I think that i would only move the wedding for a sibling/ or a very close friend that would be in the wedding party.

other than that people are going to miss this kind of stuff if they are going on a trip of that length.

You're not wrong at all for wanting to stick to your date. All 7 of FH ' S first cousin and his aunt and uncle can't make ours. When FMIL started hinting that we should consider changing our date to accommodate them he made it clear that was not going to happen. Stick to your date, it's yours and you're happy with it.

Stick to your guns and your date. As long as your VIP's can make the date then refer to HIH's post.... you can't a make everyone happy nor should you have to!

Do not move your date. No matter what date you choose, someone will not be able to attend. Your wedding date is a personal decision.

Stick with your date. You wont please everyone and everyone may not come regardless of what day it is.

Stick to it. Someone will have a problem no matter when you have it and the date is significant to you. Hey, I miss everyone's everything unless it's on a Tuesday, lol.....

I agree about sticking with date. The girl with the same wedding date can get over it, and family with other plans...oh well. If the contract is signed, then you probably cannot change it.

You are not wrong.

I don't know where you are in wedding planning. But, our wedding is 5/7/16 and moving our wedding date is not an option. First off, we would lose out on our $2,000 deposit to the venue.

Those relatives will just have to find a way or make one. Plus, you said yourself you are not close to them. They will be okay.

There's no such thing as a date when ALL your guests can make it. You seem really happy with the date you've selected. Let's say you change it and select another date. Well, then one of your FH's closest friends says that's the day he's taking the Bar exam. So you pick another date, but that's the week your sister is in Atlanta for training on the new system at work. And so on and so on and so on.

You've got to call it somewhere, and you seem happy with where it is.

I totally agree with everything that everyone else said. Stick with your date, date twin! You can't change every single detail of your wedding to please everyone else. If this was an extremely close cousin of yours and you chose on your own to change the date, that'd be one thing. You mentioned you're not even very close, so too bad for them!

Stick to your date. I'd only *consider* changing my date if an immediate family member had a conflict.

Stick to your date. We're getting married July 4th, in Canada though so it's not technically a holiday for us, but some are still saying its a long weekend since Canada Day is just 3 days before. FHs aunt works at a hospital and is planning a trip to Toronto that weekend so won't be attending, oh well, she's known the date since November 2013. Same thing with my cousin, his wife who I'm really close with took on the roll of MOH for one of her friends weddings which is the same day as mine, again she's known our wedding date since nov/dec 2013, her friend announced her wedding date June 2014, as much as it sucks that a few of our loved ones won't be there, it's the day we want to get married on.

It depends on how much you care about them being there. Will your cousin not being there matter that much? Then move it.

Sounds like it doesn't. So I endorse you stick with it and say you will miss you cousin's presence.

My cousins son, who I claim as a nephew, found out about the time my father died that he was deploying with the reserves to California for desert training. I found out at the funeral and he would miss the wedding. I looked at him and said " Well dude at least it is California and not some other hellhole like Afganistan or Syria." He ended up not going due to paperwork and was at the wedding (a wonderful surprise!!!!) You just can't change the date once contracts are signed.

Stick with your date. I almost had a similar situation - one of FH's cousins who I am very close with (I knew her for years before FH and I met) thought she might not make our wedding due to a trip to Europe with her daughter. It turns out that she will be back just a few days before our wedding, but when we were discussing it, she said she would never ask that we change our date. And I wouldn't have changed our date anyway because, for one thing, we like our date, and even if we did decide to change it, there will always end up being someone who can't make it for some reason.