So my dad is getting married... (Rant!)

Don't go. Thats all.

Show up like any other guest. offer pleasantries like you would to a stranger on the street, nothing personal whatsoever. you don't have to fake nice to simply be pleasant. just attend, offer best wishes if you even care to do that for your dad, and then leave. you will only look bad if you show up with a nasty attitude, frowning and saying hateful things. this is what he has chosen. if you're not close with him, then don't worry about it. i HATE my FMIL, but i've purposed in my heart that no matter what on my wedding day, i'm going to be pleasant to her. NOT LOVING....just PLEASANT. it will make the day go smoother. i think you should do the same.

I'm sorry to hear that, what a horrible thing to say to someone's kids!

Normally I would say if you don't like the couple or support their marriage, don't go to the wedding. But since he is family, you probably should give him an explanation of why you don't want to go. Will they be invited to your wedding?

Go. Be civil. If you boycott the ceremony, it's an act you can never take back.

Well the trouble with not going is that for those 4 years we didn't talk he told his entire family that it was all us. And he said stuff like "they'd have to get on their knees and beg for forgiveness for me to talk to them again" forgiveness for being hurt that our dad rejected us?? Ok..

Anyway. If I don't go his family will be assholes. I've never been the one to pout or throw fits because I'm such a people pleaser, so if anything I'd be fake nice which is the last thing I want to be.. HE is invited. I don't want her anywhere near my wedding.

It's just really hard because I've always compromised my feelings for him to be happy and the one time I stood up for myself he kicks me out. And now he acts like nothing happened and has convinced himself and his family that it was all me so if I don't go they will just think its me being a "horrible kid" again..

Go. Or dont go. If you go, you have to fake "congrats, so happy for you" you have to fake smile & try to be as civil as your heart can allow. If you dont go, you will get crap for it. You have to choose which one is the lesser of two evils....

If your father and his family treat you like crap without even trying to hear you out or get both sides of the story, to me, it sounds like you'd be just fine without them in your life. And if that is the case, just don't go.

I'd go so I knew what NOT to do for my own wedding. I'd go to eat and drink on their dime.

Can you live with being a "horrible kid?" Why does their opinion of you matter so much?

I'm with Paris. Go. Be civil. Then move on without much concern for other people's opinions of you.

Ill be civil.. I can't live with being the horrible kid cuz I know I'm not. So I'll suck it up and try not puke at their wedding.. I wish my family were normal!!!

thanks everyone!

Your family is normal. EVERY family is screwed up in their own way.

I would not go because I do not support him or the person he is choosing to marry. The purpose of a wedding is to be surrounded by those who love you and want the best for you, but you cannot stand this woman and your Dad since he has been with her. I agree he is family and family will always be there for you no matter what- but I couldn't imagine speaking with someone again who said the things he did about you!

On a side note about your wedding: You really shouldn't invite your Dad but not his fiance. Either invite them both or not at all. A couple should be invited as a unit or left off of the list entirely. Sorry you have to deal with this and I hope you make the decision you will be most happy with.

Oh don't worry you're normal. My dad got remarried when I was 10, and I didn't go. I was invited, but when my mom brought up the logistics to my dad (the wedding was across the country--so he would have had to pick us up from the airport, had people to watch us, entertain us, etc.), my dad was basically like "um, maybe not." But things are different because you're an adult.

I agree with others--being civil is not the same thing as faking nice. Try to have fun!

I am with celia

Did you RSVP? if so, you will look like a biotch if you don't show up.

did they invite you in the last minute? if so, don't go; you are too busy planning your wonderful beautiful wedding.

If you choose to go, don't wear black & be & think positively.

You don't have to stay the entire duration, you can leave early. Good luck

They're having a super small ceremony. Just his parents and siblings and kids. Not sure about her side, last I knew her kids don't speak to her. Then the reception is his nieces and nephews so there were no rsvps they'd definitely know if I didn't show up. At least my FH will be with me! My dad and grandpa love him cuz they knew him from the hardware store before we dated so he can do all the talking! So glad I have him!!

I agree with Lady Crystal. yes, you'lll be in the hot seat if you don't go, but if you go and spoil things it will be worse.

do you think you can go and just hang out with others? you don't really have to hang out with them. if you think you can go and not do things like loose your temper or but a damper on your day then go. in not then I wouldn't!

I wouldn't go. If he chose her over me then I would wish him the best of luck with her.

Hopefully they will live a long and happy life together.