So I think I fired a bridesmaid this morning...*Update in Comments*

Cont.

This morning I let her know that it was extremely inconsiderate to invite an addition person and a 6 month old to our wedding without asking me first, and that I think it would be the best decision to stay home, for the sake of her health and the health of her twins.

I told her we would skype the ceremony with her so she wouldn't miss it.

Now I feel like a bad person. wahhwaahh

I cannot deny...I lol'd at the "would he sit on the floor" part. I do agree with you that it's inconsiderate for her to just invite someone without passing it by you first. But, I think I would *allow* it (don't kill me!). This is your sister and coming from someone who doesn't have a good relationship at all with my sister, I would still want her to be there and for her and my unborn nieces/nephews to be safe and healthy (i.e. having friend come) to be with her incase she goes into labor, etc.

Is her husband/boyfriend not attending the wedding, or?

Eh....don't feel like a bad person. I remember your other post about her and I was envisioning it ending up with her not going. It probably IS the best decision for her to stay home near her doctors so close to her due date...I thought most doctors discourage travel, even by car, after a certain point in the pregnancy?

First off...WHO wears the bridesmaids dress of a wedding she has not even attended yet to a bachelorette party???

Ugh I just went through the whole someone inviting someone who I didn't even know without consulting me first on it.. I feel for you there! As far as it being your sister... I am with Ashley on this one.. (Not saying I wouldn't be peeved about her not asking first ofcourse) but I would allow it just incase of labour, etc etc.

Yea regardless of all of those other reasons she should not be traveling when she is that pregnant. She should have backed out of being your bridesmaid way before you kicked her out.

Well it is a tad more complicated.

She also is refusing to speak to any family members, charged my sister with a felony (they got into a fight) so she will actually be in jail for my wedding, and I've been blocked on Facebook since March.

Seriously, this is real life, I can't make this stuff up.

So on top of her putting her health at risk, I think she is coming to just prove a point, and I'm convinced she will start a fight with my parents, and her sister. Which honestly, I don't want to deal with.

Her husband isn't coming, and her doctors have told her not to travel.

I guess I just feel like someone had to be the realist, and I chose myself as the martyr.

@Maltese - I seriously have no idea. I was like...really???

What the hell. Typically I am against "firing" a bridesmaid, but that sounds insane. good luck.

I think it's for the best if her doctor told her not to go especially if there is family problems

Ok if she is that far along and wanted to bring someone to help her I can understand that but someone with a 6 month old? What if she did go into labor? The friend would not be much help then as they don't allow babies (other than than the ones being born) in labor and delivery. She should have asked first so I don't blame you for "firing" her.

Like, my sister has done a lot of f'd up things this process. Going behind my back and telling people I'm too young, that I'm making a mistake, planning what she would rather do for things, not being present, etc. which is fine, because that's how she is. However, I would still make every effort on my end to at least have her at my wedding regardless of anything because I know it would mean a ton to my parents and our relationship in the long run. But, this is pregnancy and labor is massively unpredictable, so. :/ If she feels comfortable just coming as a guest, I would try to make it happen.

ETA: UH, CHANGE MY TUNE. I would fire her ass in a heartbeat.

Crazy. Don't feel bad... you did the best for everyone involved.

I would have probably suggested the same. Not only does she not need to travel preggo with twins at 8 months, she doesn't need to come just to stir up shit, either. If that's what you think her motive is, boot her. You don't need that on your wedding day. Or at all, ever.

I'm going to be honest. I think she was trying to start a fight with me, so I would tell her not to come, and she wouldn't have to be the "bad guy"

I think that if you feel really bad then maybe you should just tell her she can come but the unknown friend and baby cannot. She will most likely end up dropping out due to being angry and then your conscious will be clear.

My entire relationship with my sister @Rachel. I feel ya.

Hi date twin!! 25 days !

Wow! I am sorry your going through that! I would not feel like the bad guy, you are the responsible/realistic one. and if you are concerned she will try to cause drama, there is no need for that at the wedding (and stressing out an 8-month pregnant women may not end well!)

But if you do feel badly, because she is your family, I would give it a few days for you and her to calm down. Collect your thoughts and try to have an adult conversation with her about how you are looking out for her and the babies!

Oh yeah if this ever was a case of "Thanks but no thanks" this is it. I wouldn't even put it "best for you and your babies" if she's going to start fights with people. I would be flat out saying, "I don't want you there."

Honestly I think it's best she sits the wedding out. Twins almost always come early so there's a very good chance she'll have her hands full with 2 newborns the day your wedding. If she hasn't had the babies yet it would be so risky for her to drive that far while that far along in her pregnancy. To top it all off it's extremely rude to just invite another 2 people without asking you. I think it's weird that she finds this ok. Even weirder that she wore her BM dress to a bach. party prior to the wedding (what would she do if she stained it? not a phone call i'd want to make to the bride).

I'd give her a few days to calm down and then readdress the topic. At the end of the day she needs to be worried about what's best for the kiddos. I'm glad you at least seem to be concerned with their well being.

Thanks everyone.

I'm going to be honest. After a little bit of time has past, I realized that I feel lighter. She had been causing a lot more stress than I had realized.

It feels weird saying that, but it is true. At least now I know she won't be there and I won't have to be wonder on Oct. 31st if she is actually going to make it.