Skip to main content

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

M
Master June 2017

So half my family is boycotting my wedding...

Mrs, on May 15, 2017 at 8:13 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 31

So my mom and stepdad are splitting up after 22 years. They've had serious issues for as long as I can remember, and I don't know of a time in my life that they were happy together. So this is not a surprise to me but apparently for many people it is. I called my stepdad today and he tells me he is...

So my mom and stepdad are splitting up after 22 years. They've had serious issues for as long as I can remember, and I don't know of a time in my life that they were happy together. So this is not a surprise to me but apparently for many people it is.

I called my stepdad today and he tells me he is no longer coming. I consider him to be my dad. He raised me since I was a baby and he's always been "dad" so he was supposed to be walking me down the aisle, and now he's not coming. Because he needs everyone on "his side", his entire family has also decided not to come. That's like 40 people, and a huge chunk of our guest list. The reason we decided on a large wedding is because they wanted to come.

I'm just so annoyed. Our venue is huge and I feel so stupid having only 60 people in such a large space we thought was going to be filled with people. I feel betrayed by my family and they don't even have the guts to say they aren't coming, just ignoring the invite.

31 Comments

  • MrsRushinin2018
    VIP September 2018
    MrsRushinin2018 ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I'm so sorry. I echo those who say move forward and have a kickass day! Hugs

    • Reply
  • NewlyMrsLachney
    Master September 2017
    NewlyMrsLachney ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I am so sorry to hear this. Smiley sad

    • Reply
  • Ellsy62
    Master October 2017
    Ellsy62 ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Ugh girl I'm so sorry!!! It does suck that it's all happening right before your wedding. Maybe things will calm down and he'll end up coming. If not just get your brother to walk you down and enjoy the company of the people that do come. I'm so sorry you have to deal with such drama so close to your day.

    • Reply
  • M
    Master June 2017
    Mrs ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    You guys are honestly the best, I feel so lucky to be part of this community. I haven't talked about this with many other people besides my family and one of my close friends so I really appreciate some outside support.

    I don't think anything is going to change in the next few weeks between now and the wedding. I've had a lot of time to think about it and come to terms, and just accept that is how it's going to be. It just blows my mind that he fully expects our relationship to continue as normal after this because he's not doing this because of me, but because of my mom. Like, that doesn't make it any less fucked up. Your relationship with her is already over, not use trying to hurt her any further.

    It's very conflicting when someone you love hurts you. I feel like I shouldn't be mad because he still loves me and he does feel bad, but not bad enough to actually come. On the bright side, we are saving quite a bit of money on our venue package. At least we'll be able to spoil the guests who bothered to come.

    • Reply
  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Geez. that is so childish and dickish of him, and it's an act of false bravado he can never take back. It sucks when family makes their kids' weddings a billboard for their indignation. This man was part of your family, part of your history, and it sucks that he would ignore that, even if he is in the throes of a messy divorce.

    I married a wonderful couple of women a few years ago in a very high profile ceremony, and one of the women's family refused to come. The other woman's family totally embraced her; dad walked one woman down; mom, the other. But I couldn't help but think what this imaginary line in the sand meant to the family.....was it some sort of weird victory?

    I know it's cold comfort, but enjoy and celebrate with the people who support you. It'll be a wonderful day for you.

    • Reply
  • Jessica
    Devoted May 2018
    Jessica ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I'm sorry. The situation sucks. But you bet i wouldn't be letting the family off the hook... I'd call every one and make them tell me they aren't coming. people suck sometimes, but you'll still have a wonderful, happy, memorable day!

    • Reply
  • Amandaw
    VIP April 2018
    Amandaw ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    You SHOULD be mad at him. He is not doing this cause of your mom, he is doing this because he wants to play the victim. You dont want someone like that at your wedding anyways. If he could pull this stunt what would he pull at the actual wedding? He might make a scene or tell people lies. I am so sorry you have to go through this. It is never easy. Just know the ones who will be there love you. And maybe reach out to the other family members who have not responded and tell them "i would love for you to come since no matter what you are still my family but i understand if you dont."

    • Reply
  • N
    Master December 2016
    Nancy ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    He and his family need to think about YOU, not themselves. How insensitive.

    • Reply
  • Amanda
    Master January 2017
    Amanda ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I'm so sorry he's treating you like this over something so petty. You don't deserve that and I'm sure it's not easy to deal with. He's acting immature and heartless towards someone he should love, and what's just as shocking to me is how he managed to convince 40 other people to ditch out on you. I'm really hoping all of them, especially your stepdad, will put on their big boy pants and start adulting. If you're able to get in contact with him and have a serious one-on-one conversation to express how hurt this is making you and how much it means for him to be there and how you see him as your father, I would try that. Here's hoping for the best.

    • Reply
  • Melaina
    Super November 2017
    Melaina ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I am so sorry you're dealing with this. That is so petty of their family, after all it's not your fault that they're splitting up. I hope he changes his mind at the very least and it all works out

    • Reply
  • Jamie
    Super October 2017
    Jamie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I am so sorry you have to go through this. Sending you all the hugs

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Explore how we embrace diversity

Groups

WeddingWire article topics