So a guy that I had a crush on for about 6 years of my adolescent life just professed his love for me?!

i love you. as my friend. nothing more. that is my path. and yours. you know. you are not stupid. you are smarter than you have allways been.

please, be honest. please. please. please. please. You are beautiful. you are wonderful. You are a priceless jewel. (corny i know)

But seriously. please be you.

i am sorry if i over step myself. but. i have known for such a long time. i have seen, when i was too stupid to see. You. Work is a silly time to think about, but that time was defining for you and i. My regret is not being more of a man then. if i had been, things would have been different. i am silly. I am broken. Its all i have ever been.

....SOOO yeah. Does this normally happen when you get married? Or do I just get this craziness as a special treatment..? *sigh* This is a weird situation and I really don't know how to handle it.

Wow..i would say, he was drunk and probably will not even remeber it in the morning. But, he is a long time true friend, I guess I would text back, "I love you as a friend as well." and leave it at that. the reason, one. when sober or hung over he will see your response. two, it is kind. 3. You have acknowledge him as a true friend, nothing more.4. Puts the ball back in his court and you never have to bring it up again.

And if he truly believes you are his soulmate, this would not crush him as badly as a direct WTF are you thinking approach. Good luck!

Lisa S. hit the nail right on the head.

Thanks girls. It was on facebook so I did respond with a simple, "I know you said not to respond but I want you to know that I appreciate what you said and love you as a friend as well." And he was still online so we started talking from there. He was, as you guessed, drunk but just said he wanted me to know that he always had feelings for me and apologized for not acting on them sooner. He was very gracious about it (he actually has a long time girlfriend that he lives with) and said he didn't want anything to come of it, just wanted to get it off his chest so he could resume being a better friend then one who had relationship baggage.

Your welcome, he sounds really sweet, I think you did the right and a good thing by talking gently with him. Looks like you have an amazing friend who will have your back. Enjoy the friendship

This happened to me too. Honestly, I'd tell your husband that it happened so if it comes up he won't think nothing of it. Secondly, I'd make it clear to the guy that you don't like him like that anymore. Messaging someone that's newly married something like that is not really a good friend thing to do.

Jamie has a point, let the hubby know about it, my guess, your hubby allready knows he is hung up on you and has been quietly watching the situation.

Never bring it up again and move on..if he does however (friend) I would give 1 final warning. Bluntly. 3rd time, no matter how wonderful and how long you have known him, it would be time to move on.

Good luck!!

I actually had something like this happen to me when me and my FH hit the 1 year mark. An ex of mine (and also really close fried)appoligized for being such an ass when we dated and for not taking up my offer to go out before me and my FH started dating and then he professed his love to me and that he felt like crap because he wasn't mine. Mind you all this happened in person one day after school. I ended up staring blankly at him for several seconds before I was able to respond. I ended up telling him that I was happy we were friends and while at one point I was hopelessly in love with him, I wasn't anymore. Yea it was an awkward conversation.

**and me and the FH weren't even engaged yet.

I don't know what it is with SOME men, (don't get all crazy on me guys, I am not lumping you ALL in this category), but, it seems like the very MINUTE a girl becomes unavailable whether it is a new relationship, engaged, married... men come out of the woodwork and profess their love for you! I had a guy that I went to high school with that liked me, but didn't say anything until I because engaged... he had the ENTIRE PAST 10 YEARS to say something and he didn't UNTIL I became engaged... I say that you did the right thing, but DO NOT proceed any further with it and do not let his words make you feel bad or curious... he had the chance, and he wasted it men do that. Then they want what they could've had the minute it's out of reach... ugh.... LOL! Best wishes!

You should definitely leave your husband for the other guy. He obviously loves you a lot. Most of the time when you're drunk you say things you want to say when you're sober.

Sounds like he wasn't expecting to take it this hard, and he did

I don't think there is anything wrong with professing love, etc....for some people, it's the only way they can move on.....as long as they don't do this more than once! Any more than that....it's harder to stay friends.

I agree, I would let hubby know.

Lisa's advice is excellent. Let your husband know, and if the friend mentions this sort of thing again, you may need to distance yourself from him... he's planting the seed for a really dangerous situation.

Since you know he has feelings for you, I would reccomend that you avoid talking about any relationship problems between you and your husband with this friend... I don't know if you do or don't do this, but if you did, it's asking for trouble, IMO. Be friends, but if things start feeling weird, back off.

This kind of situation, if handled improperly, can cause major problems down the line... not to scare you or overreact, but I've seen it happen. Just be careful and put you and your husband's relationship first!

Thanks everyone for your help. I talked to DH about everything, he even read everything that my friend said to me. DH was fine with it and happy with how I handled it - he even made a couple of jokes like, "I thought when I married you, I wouldn't have to compete with anyone anymore!" So we're all good and my friend woke up this morning apologizing profusely. Just glad that everything is behind us - although me and my friend have kind of 'taken a break' from hanging out until further notice just until he's sure we can move on and just be friends.

Glad it's worked out! Things like this are always weird... I have an interesting one to share:

My best guy friend (after my FH) is one of my "bridesmen". About a year ago, he and his long term gf of 3.5 years broke things off. A month or so later, a small group of us went out to dinner for his birthday and his mom came too. SHE got pretty tipsy and started talking about how she wished I were single 'cause my friend and I would have made such a nice couple. She'd have liked to have me in the family. I'm such a nice girl. Blah blah blah. He and I were friends with benefits at times, we went to prom together as friends, etc. But we never dated or anything. It was just really awkward to hear this at the dinner table with everyone else. I mean what do you say?!?

I can't help but think some of it is just that some guys really want what they can't have. Now you are married and that made you even more unavailable! Hopefully anyways

I have had guys friends in the past, some I had crushes on and some where the feelings were not at all mutual, that always called and texted me when I was dating someone and talked about how they wish I was single blah blah. When I was between relationships or something like that they were dating someone else or unavailable for one reason or another. I really think its just the grass looks greener on the other side kind of thing...even though he is a great friend, I would probably distance myself a bit from communicating 1 on 1 online with him. Call him when FH is around, or hang out with other friends. But I think some boundaries need to be set up.

I feel really bad for this guys GF too! Who would want their BF sending messages like that to other woman. Also want to mention one of my friends that use to do this all had a habit of doing this while dating other girls. Eventually I never took him seriously at all because I learned he would text me things very similar to what your friend said, but then would also send messages to some of our mutual friends too. He never cheated on his GF's, but thats walking in the red zone imo.