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Katie
Savvy October 2020

Small Wedding

Katie, on December 10, 2019 at 3:08 PM Posted in Planning 0 22
Hey Ladies,



Anyone have advice on how to make a small wedding just as perfect as a larger one? Our families don't know we're not inviting everyone yet. He and I decided we just want small and simple but fear our families will be upset that, you know those cousins we never see or talk to or second/third cousins or family we neevr heard of, aren't invited. We thought going to them with a plan on how to still make it "what they always dreamed of for us" would help lessen the tension.
Thoughts??? How did you do it??

22 Comments

Latest activity by Kristen, on February 26, 2020 at 7:19 AM
  • John Smith
    Expert February 2015
    John Smith ·
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    In my opinion, small weddings are better than larger ones.
    How small is small? I think a big factor in making it feel natural is the size of the venue. If you have a large venue but a small guest count, it'll make it feel empty. So definitely get a more intimate venue!

    I also think that, depending on your budget, a sit-down meal is a nice feature, and usually this is a privilege reserved for small weddings!

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  • Katie
    Savvy October 2020
    Katie ·
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    Hi!
    We are currently at 60 people but we are trying to cut down even more. We are doing a ceremony in one place, it's a garden area that is meant for no more than 70 people, followed by a dinner at our favorite restaurant's private room (it'll be buffet tho).
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  • John Smith
    Expert February 2015
    John Smith ·
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    Buffet is probably best for 60 people. When you said small I was thinking like 15-20 haha.

    That sounds like a great size! Sounds like you already have a great venue!

    Is there anything is particular that is worrying you?

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  • Katie
    Savvy October 2020
    Katie ·
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    Well, we are really trying to aim for only 30 so we have adjusting still left to do. His mom and mine, our grandparents and others have expressed how much they want us to have the "traditional" big wedding and that's just not what we want. So, we are trying to figure out a way to make them feel better I guess. Like, we have no idea if we should decorate the restaurant room for dinner, have music during the night if people want to dance or how to really do this.
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  • Jennifer
    Super March 2020
    Jennifer ·
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    I can give a somewhat of a rundown on what we are doing....


    The guest list is capped at 30 people and none of the families have met yet. We decided to rent a home along a creek in Sedona. Some of the guests will be staying at this large home and this is were we will get ready, have toasts, etc. We will have the ceremony site set up along the creek with an aisle, arch, flower petals. We are having a cocktail hour with an open bar, food and time for photography. The goal is for use to at least make 2o minutes of the cocktail hour. Also, dinner is plated, fancy flower arrangements, continued open bar and a cake. There wont be any dancing or bouquet tossing. I did hire a guitarist and violinist in order to set a vibe throughout the night. We also have lighting overhead. Keep in mind, this is all outdoors so the vibe should be refreshing and romantic anyway! I hate the idea of a large wedding but refuse to not make it special and gorgeous! This was what I came up with! The overall goal is to have an amazing dinner with great conversation! Gives the chance for the families to meet and not be bombarded with random family ww haven't seen in years!
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  • Sherry
    Master September 2019
    Sherry ·
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    We had 65 guests and it was amazing!

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  • Katie
    Savvy October 2020
    Katie ·
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    I love that idea! It sounds amazing, I so appreciate your comment! Thank you 😊❤️
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  • Katie
    Savvy October 2020
    Katie ·
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    Did you guys have dancing or just a dinner?
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  • Sherry
    Master September 2019
    Sherry ·
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    We had a buffet dinner instead of plated. We opted out of any scheduled dances, toasts, bouquet toss, garter toss, speeches etc.

    This was a second marriage for the both of us so we wanted to keep it intimate and a lot of the "traditional" wedding things weren't important to us.

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  • Katie
    Savvy October 2020
    Katie ·
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    Thank you, I appreciate your comment! Sounds amazing
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  • Angel
    Expert August 2020
    Angel ·
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    It's YOUR wedding, so it's ultimately up to the both of you. I wouldn't want to have cousins I've never met on one of the most special days of my life - and no one could make me! lol. We're also having a small wedding of about 40 people, I think it makes it a lot more special. Depending on whether they're helping or not, they may think they're entitled to an opinion about the guest list. I would just express to them that it means a lot to the both of you to only have people there that have been there from the start and involved with your relationship/life.

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  • Cyndy
    Master May 2019
    Cyndy ·
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    We had a DW in Florida with 55 people which included us. It was the perfect size. We were able to actually interact with everyone. We still had a DJ and open bar and lots of great food. Everyone had a fabulous time. Some people told us it was the best wedding they’ve ever been to because it was so much fun. Good luck.
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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    We had 15 guests at our DW (mostly family) and it was amazing. Then we had a local reception for 50 guests and it was a blast.


    I wouldn’t assume they’ll be disappointed. Show your excitement for the wedding you both are planning and hopefully they’ll be excited too.
    ... and just keep in your back pocket if they continue and continue to push, you can suggest to your parents they host a cake & punch reception a month after your wedding and invite all the family they want. 👍
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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    My personal opinion is that the happiest day of your life is just you marrying him regardless of the size. Here's my opinion if you have family members that you barely speak to while I get that they would expect an invitation you are not obligated to. And if they ask why or question why just tell them that we wanted to do a small intimate wedding and just keep it's a close family and people that we speak too often. If they have an issue with that then you don't talk to them anyway so what does it matter hahaha. I can tell you from what I've researched small intimate weddings or even just family elopement are becoming the new trend because weddings can easily get expensive. I would say do some research because there are brides that have made blog post about how do small intimate weddings on a budget. First thing is to remember that usually the reception is the most expensive part because of food and if you plan on providing alcoholic beverages. The venue can be affordable depending on where you have it. Cheaper uptime for food could be just take everyone to a restaurant (no set up por clean up) por if you book a venue that allows you to also have a reception you can either do trays of food from your local grocery store or a Sam's Club or a Costco, or you can order out for catering. Often Hispanic, barbecue and Italian food could be cost-effective and large portions.
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  • Anna
    Super April 2020
    Anna ·
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    I remember being as nervous as you. We booked the church back in march and just told our families a week ago. I had already mentioned to my mom i wasnt inviting anyone. Slowly preparing her. So now that both families know, my mom didn't fight me on it, well we did spend 11 months preparing her for it (i got engaged in dec). My fh and i are paying for everything so that helps. Plus my parents know this, so they arent pushing me to invite anyone. I literally thought it would be so bad to tell them, but no it wasnt at all.

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  • Jeanie
    Super February 2020
    Jeanie ·
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    Your wedding shouldn’t be about what they want or have dreamed of. The only thing they should want is for you to find true love and a lasting marriage. The guest list, venue, and all other details are just that, details. Those things don’t matter at the end of the day. Create the guest list you and your fiancé want. Don’t make plans just to make your family happy. That’s not really a good foot to start a marriage on. If your family is disappointed or upset, just remind them of the love you have for each other and how that’s the most important thing.
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  • W-K
    Super October 2019
    W-K ·
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    We had a small wedding buffet style at a restaurant for the reception. 28 people total. I think what made it feel just as "special" as the big weddings is we paid attention to the little details. Got corsages for the moms, professional photography, etc. We didn't do dancing after dinner but did some of the traditions like cutting the cake and a first dance. It was sweet and everyone seemed to have a good time.

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  • Katie
    Savvy October 2020
    Katie ·
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    Thanks amazing! Thank you for your comment ❤️
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  • Katie
    Savvy October 2020
    Katie ·
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    Thank you for your comment! I appreciate it ♥️ your wedding sounds amazing tho
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  • D
    Savvy June 2022
    D Ross ·
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    Were having 20-25 people. I have a LOT of cousins and aunts/uncles that assumed they were invited. All of my cousins have had big weddings. I would have loved to have them at mine, but I can't afford to feed them all. And I didn't want to play favorites. You could use that excuse.

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