Small wedding regrets, In a pickle help

While your venue is breath taking I would choose family is there any way that you can compromise? maybe push the wedding back a year and have both? just an idea,

You'll have to pick which is more important the dream venue or having more friends and family celebrate with you on your special day? Once you decide don't look back with regrets!

It is a tough decision which unfortunately you will just have to sit down with you FH and decide which you both want more. Neither option is wrong but are perfectly good!! However once you make your decision though don't look back!!

Personally, I would make my "must have" list for guests first and then find a venue that fits that number at a minimum. I can't tell whether the people you need to cut to get this venue are "must haves" or not.

I am having 40 people and we're still getting a DJ and anticipating at least some dancing.

50 people is plenty to have some dancing and other "fun wedding activities."

With 40, we'll have a first dance, too! Skipping the garter and bouquet toss because they're not my style, not because we don't have "enough" guests.

We are having approx 35 guests and they are the people we want there the most, so it is definitely worth it to me to have the smaller beautiful venue as well as to save money. We were going for an "intimate feel", so this is perfect for us.

We actually ran into a similar situation a couple months ago when we started our search for a venue. Our guest list, including all extended family + friends, was at 120 people. We came across a venue that we LOVED and could 100% see ourselves getting married there (I can't say it was our "dream" venue, because we discovered it on a whim; not something we lusted after for a long time prior), but with 120 guests, came in at $30k for venue/catering/drink (almost 2x our budget).

We tossed around the idea of cutting our guest list in half or more, but ultimately decided that: a) It seemed silly to pay for a grand, extravagant venue that wouldn't even be close filled to capacity with 30-50 guests; and b) Cutting the guest list didn't ultimately save us THAT much $, because a lot of the costs came from the venue rental fee, not the per person charge for food/drinks. We kept searching, and ended up finding a venue that we loved even more than the first we fell in love with. It's in our budget, has the amenities/etc. that we wanted, and we are able to host our entire families without cutting our guest list.

I truly think, if you keep looking, you may find something you love even more, without sacrificing family members or friends!! Good luck!

We ended up getting married at our dream venue by not inviting anyone and eloping at that venue instead. Although I don't think we would have dealt with a lot of drama by not inviting some people, we decided to just avoid all that and have no guests at all. We were going to have our wedding at a different, less expensive place that could accommodate more guests but in the end we decided to get married at our dream venue. It was perfect for us.

You have to decide if your venue is worth excluding people near and dear to you. Only you can make that call. Actually though, 50 guests is a decent sized wedding. "Very small" would be 10 guests. Small would be 20-40 or so. Many people have small, intimate weddings with no regrets.

It is really up to you. I wouldn't ask strangers for their input on this matter - only because we don't know if YOU would regret it, we can only tell if WE would regret OUR OWN decisions... even then, we are not sure until after it happens how we would feel about something.

Listen to what your inner voice is telling you - that is your answer.

eta-words

We are planning a wedding of about 30 ppl because that is what we can afford. Someone is going to be upset, hell, some already are. Do what your wallet allows. Our choice was picked because we refuse to go into debt just to give people something to talk about. Also, people on our original guest list hadn't even met FH, so we eliminated them as well. Be strict with your guest list. I agree with @HisBeauty

Can you not dance because of venue restrictions, or do you think not because of the amount of people?

After dealing with how a guest list balloons and all of the things entailed in a large wedding, I wish I'd gone with my initial plan of 50 people, yes it would have cut a lot of friends and family, but I think I would have been happier with that outcome. If you are a "what if" person you may just have to deal with it. I am a "what if" person and the grass is always greener, but I think you'll be happy no matter what. I was afraid I would have regretted it, and I am excited for my wedding, but also apprehensive from the cost, and the large party.

If we couldn't have dancing or anything like that, I wouldn't want that venue. I'm excited for the reception party! But that's your call girl, is that what you're looking forward too? Or is the dream venue the thing that excites you most?

I don't think I'm selfish for inviting 22 people to our wedding. You are not required to host everyone you know.

I chose the venue I wanted and that meant curbing the guestlist a little. FH and I (mainly him) have more "friends" we would invite if it didn't push us over our budget. I like it though because it's going to be more intimate w our closest friends and families.

That venue is gorgeous!!

I would write out your guestlist of 50 starting with your VIPs. When you get to 50, is there anyone missing from your list that you don't want to get married without? If so, maybe look for another venue.

We considered a DW until we realized FH's Gma might not be able to make it... and we didn't want to get married without her there.

We are in the same boat! We are getting married in the mountains which I'm so excited about because we are the ones paying for our wedding, not our family and with it beating a destination it's easier to cut down the guest list! We invited our parents and siblings and our closest friends. Our guest list is less then 60 and I actually feel relieved knowing we are spending the money on people we interact with on a regular basis vs Uncle Tom who lives in Texas and I've never even met... we also already have a daughter and a home together so I feel like our perspective may be a little different then others but I am happy knowing our wedding is what we want and not what everyone else wants us to have.

I think small is better. Do you honestly Believe you will have time to visit with 100-200 people? They will witness your day but you will be so busy your time with them will be very limited.

I wanted the dream wedding my sister had. Mine was $3000 total, hers was $30000. We didn't get married where we wanted it have the honeymoon we wanted. We had 150 guests and a very large wedding party. We had to cut out a lot of things I wanted to do. I found a beautiful place where we could do outdoor photos we got married at a church and had an informal reception. Yes, looking.back I would have changed some things, it on the low budget we had, it didn't leave us with any options either. We had to realize that a wedding is one day. Family and marriage are more important. I want a marriage that lasts and family and friends who wouldn't be hurt by not being invited. Those things were more important than anything else to me. You have to do what you think is best for you. Yes, it is only one day, but it is also the most important day of your life. Who would you want there? How would you feel to have the best place to be married in, but not be able to really share it with those you want there? I so wanted the best venue, but I wanted my guests there to share it.

I went to a wedding here over the summer! It is truly stunning. However, be sure that there wouldn't be a larger wedding going on elsewhere on the grounds, which, remembering the lay out, seems highly likely.