Small wedding regrets, In a pickle help

P.S. I've been to 2 dozen weddings and I've never seen a garter thrown. I don't think you'd be missing anything.

Personally I've cut our list from 70 down to 35, and still may cut people. Lol I've always wanted a small intimate wedding.

Do what would make you and FH happy.

You will never please everyone. 10 yrs from now...when looking back on your wedding day, do you want to remember all of the guests you could have or the venue with fewer guests?!?

Which is more important to you- your dream venue? or sharing your special day with those who love you?

You can still have a first dance with a small wedding. Do a lunch time reception and hire a DJ for only 1 or 2 hours (1 hr to play nice music during dinner, 1 hr for some traditional dances, and fun mingling of your guests). Plus, a 50 person guest list is not terribly small! That's decent sized!

What does it look like?

One of the best weddings I went to was extremely small only immediate family (parents, brothers, sisters) and bride and groom each had 1 guest. I LOVED it, it was so intimate and it was all focused on them. It was my model but not in my cards. I honestly don't think a small wedding diminishes the day. You can still do a first dance!

I'd do a smaller wedding over a larger wedding any day but I'm biased because I'm having a small wedding (21 including FH and I). We don't regret anything.. everyone we love dearly will be there and it fits us so well. I think it's a very "know your crowd" situation if your families love to dance and party and that's what you want out of your night I'd go with the bigger space. If you want an intimate feel with close family and friends and your dream venue I'd go that route. Looking back I do regret one thing while planning and that was not having our wedding at my dream venue not because we couldn't afford it but because we didn't want more than 30 people at our wedding...our dream venue had a 60 person minimum.

ETA: Even though our reception space is smaller we do have room to dance and mingle. Not everyone can dance at the same time but for our families that's not a big deal at all.

This is the place. I'm so back and forth with having a small wedding but we both see each other getting married here.

What elements constitute the perfect wedding is a highly personal view (properly hosting your guests aside, which should be a given in any scenario). I don't see having the wedding in the place you love as selfish just because you can invite less people. Will you be able to invite everyone you absolutely want to have there?

We all have elements we prioritize over something else. People, location, activities, decorations, only you know which ones are vital for you and which ones might have been great to have, but you can live without.

For me, people are the key element, the rest I can compromise on. If for you the key element is location, there is nothing wrong with that. Will the location make up for any other thing you might have to miss/compromise on? Then go for it.

If you are really torn however, I would keep looking, you never know, you might just find a place that can give you the best of both worlds. Good luck

I had to cut a lot of my family out and close friends of the family and people who helped raised me that's the only thing I can deal with cutting out friends but not having all my family or the people who help raised me there makes it look like I'm choosing over people no?

In that case, would a vow renewal work in your case? Hold the wedding now somewhere you can afford to have all the people you want and have the activities you want, and have a vow renewal in your dream venue on your anniversary?

Or the other way around, have your intimate wedding in your venue (it really looks beautiful) and have a celebration of marriage later on?

I am sorry, I am not familiar with either of those things, we don't have them here, so I am not sure on the proper etiquette, but just a thought.

My family and friends mean the world to me. I would sacrifice location to have them there. Just personal preference. You just need to figure out who you would need to cut to have your dream venue.

Exactly what @shelob said. This is very subjective to you and your needs. Maybe sit down and make a list of what is most important to you down to what is least important. Then go from there.

If location is first, cut down the guest list. If family/friends are first, find a different venue. If you can swing both, what other things can you cut? Do you need elaborate florals, do you need a DJ and dancing, do you need a videographer... and so on and so forth.

At the end of the day, will you be able to look back on your wedding and remember how special it was?

Our wedding was only 55 people and it was perfect! DH has a huge family but we decided only to include ones that we see on a regular basis. We have been to the 150+ weddings and rarely saw the bride and groom. During our wedding we were able to talk to everyone and really enjoy those who were there. We felt the bigger weddings were more impersonal.

I think it depends on what is more important to you. Do you want a wedding with a larger guest list and activities more than hosting it at your dream location? I would recommend looking at a couple more venues before making your final decision.

Less people to please, and you get to marry the love of your life in a breath taking venue.

If it was not important to be married there, you would not be going back and forth so hard. You will be able to mingle and really spend time with your guests only having 50.

That place is gorgeous.

Right now I'm at 32 including FH and me. We're doing immediate family and a few close friends ... while there are some extended family members that I would love to invite, we chose not to expand the guest list. I'm really looking forward to an intimate wedding where I can spend lots of time with the people I love the most. We won't be doing any of the traditional dances, bouq toss, garter toss, etc ... those things aren't important to us.

I had maybe 60 ppl show up, and I didn't miss anyone. I thought it was perfect, but if you have a much larger family or friend count, it could be different. Maybe sit down and make a guest list of the 50 and see if you are upset about the people who didn't make the cut?

You can still dance, you can still have all the things that you'd have at a larger wedding plus you'd actually get to spend time with the people there instead of saying hello and moving on. Honestly, how many couples have more than 50 people they are REALLY close to?

The place is gorgeous.