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Savvy June 2022

Small vs Large Wedding?!

Kristen, on November 14, 2020 at 3:45 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 27

Hi all! We are thinking now about the size of our wedding and are feeling quite torn. We are debating a small wedding with just immediate family and closest friends or a 100 person affair. I will start by saying am a type A personality that will want to be involved in all aspects of the planning (a...
Hi all!


We are thinking now about the size of our wedding and are feeling quite torn. We are debating a small wedding with just immediate family and closest friends or a 100 person affair.
I will start by saying am a type A personality that will want to be involved in all aspects of the planning (a bit of a control freak...)but as easily overwhelmed (great combo, right? 🙃). This has made me to romanticize a bit the smaller wedding (knowing that may not actually be the “right” choice for me). I am more of an introvert by definition but definitely social and have lots of friends and family. That being said, here are my pro and con lists:
PRO- more intimate/romantic- less money - less stressful / more relaxed- more hands-on (DIY)- the ability to be more present. This is one of my biggest priorities I think.- more quality time with my nearest and dearest who know me best- feeling more comfortable and open to recite my vows
CON- i have a big family and large friend group and will need to hurt peoples feelings who aren’t invited (I am very sensitive and it would make me feel badly to leave people out!) - I won’t have a big dance party (which are fun!) - that general feeling of love and support in the room (you only get that once, right?!)
Pretty standard pro and con list here, but wondering if those who have been in the same predicament, maybe with similar personalities as me, could let me know what choice they’ve made and their feelings about it thus far?
Thank you! ☺️



27 Comments

  • M
    Super October 2022
    Michele ·
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    I'm not close to my immediate family at all but am close to my extended family, childhood friends drifted away after high school..but have a large close friend group that I can't pick and choose without hurting feelings. Fiance is the same..plus combined close work associates we socialize with. The only way to make it small would be a true elopement with one guest/witness each and can't see doing that.
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  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
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    Based on your description, we seem to have a very similar personality! When we were planning, I initially wanted only 50-75 guests. However, when we sat down to make a list, between family and close friends, we realized around 100 guests was better for us. I would not have changed it for anything! I loved everything about our wedding and each of our 100 guests made it special!

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  • Florida Marlins
    Expert October 2017
    Florida Marlins ·
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    My second wedding was 50 people, if I could do it again I would have immediate family only. WAAAAAY less moving parts, way less stress way less money. Best wishes!

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  • SLY
    Master January 2022
    SLY ·
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    While I love the simplicity of a smaller wedding, both mine and my FH's families are quite large. He's also the baby of 4 boys and I'm an only child, plus we have a very large but loving friend group. We just couldn't see us having a wedding without everyone we love there.

    My MOH and her FH are actually eloping in Hawaii with just the two of them and having a reception style celebration with everyone when they come back! No one that I've spoken to are against their plans and the couple is very excited! So that's always an option!

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  • K
    Savvy June 2022
    Kristen ·
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    Thank you ♥️
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  • K
    Savvy June 2022
    Kristen ·
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    Thank you! I’m hoping we can get down to about 25-30... thanks 😊
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  • K
    Savvy June 2022
    Kristen ·
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    Also a great option - thanks 😊
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