Small Beach Wedding Huge Family=? How do I decide what family members get to come?

I would first cut those you have not spoken to in more than a year. Then cut those ypu have not seen in a year. Then eleminate children. If this does not cut the list enough immediate family only.

HI Jessica874! First, welcome and congrats! I am also having a beach wedding and I have a large family (not immediate, but still large). We stuck to just parents, siblings, and aunts and uncles. We then went with just our close friends that we talk to all the time. All in all, we invited about 98 guests and 40ish adults and 12 kids are coming. Our immediate family is coming, but out of all the aunts and uncles, only 2 aunts are actually going to join us.Not sure if your beach wedding is a destination wedding or not, but that will play a factor in how many actually come.

So I think you have a tough choice to make. What matters more to you: the small beach wedding or having all your loved ones attend?

If you want the small beach wedding, go with parents and siblings and that's it. Maybe grandparents if they're still around. No aunts/uncles, nieces/nephews, cousins, anything. No friends. Keep it under 20 or else you need chairs for the ceremony (I would suggest chairs anyway, unless your ceremony is super choice).

If that doesn't sound appealing to you, you need to decide whether you want to sacrifice your "vision" for having more people attend.

But that's the thing, I see all my family regularly every other weekend at least. Like my aunts and uncles live not even 30 minutes from me, I eat lunch with my aunts and cousins every other day! Plus I have 5 nieces and nephews that I just cant say no too.. I thought if we have a fast ceremony and a simple breakfast afterwards we could all go to the beach and play instead of having a fancy reception I just don't know how to cut people out... also all of my grandparents from both sides of the family are alive and they all had like at least 3 kids, and their kids had at least 2 kids.. we see them all the time too..

So, it's not a destination wedding? Everyone is local?

Are you wanting to limit the number of guests because you want a small ceremony or because of the cost of the reception brunch?

I want to limit it because of the chairs for the ceremony and tables for reception...

To help keep it a small and intimate beach wedding, first think to yourselves who absolutely needs to come a.k.a. parents, siblings, grandparents if still around, and your closest of friends. No need for aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, or sort of friends, relatives children, or so and so's boyfriend/girlfriend who have only been dating for about two weeks. Remember there are NO RULES when it comes to weddings, do as you see fit. Don't feel obligated to invite everyone in both of your families, only those you feel super close with. Hope this helps you some what.

Parents, siblings, close friends. The end.

I too am having a beach destination wedding and my FH and I both agreed to keep it under 50. We are inviting immediate family close aunts and uncles and close friends. We are then having a second reception(nothing big) back home for those who didn't get the invite.

We have friends getting married in a few weeks and the groom has a HUGE FAMILY (ie. Dad is one of 10 and each of these has 10ish adult kids of their own)... They talked with their family and decided that each family would get 5 invitations each (so aunt and uncle plus 3 of their kids) and they could decide amongst themselves who would / could go... Now that being said this is a super tight family who gets along really well....no drama or hurt feeling were caused by this and they did speak with everyone before hand.

If you are limited by budget for chairs/seating, then you will have to cut your guest list. Keep your immediate family, then start to include aunts/uncles. Kids can be a maybe. However if your family is truly close knit, be prepared for hurt feelings if only some people are invited and others aren't.

I officiate a lot of destination beach weddings. Most have 20-30 guests. Some go as high as 50, but not usually more than that.

Try this!

I agree with Celia. Parents, siblings, close friends. The end. Though I'd also add grandparents to that list.

Aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, cousins are all extra and can be cut.