Sleeveless and Self-conscious

Can we see you in the dress?

I recently turned 30 and have noticed the loss of definition in my arms and it bothers me as well. I haven't chosen a dress yet but I like a lot that are sleeveless, so I've started working out 3 times a week, focusing a lot on my arms. It not only has relieved some stress about my insecurities, but it helps me burn off other nervousness and stress as well. Win, win!

I have like 99 days till my wedding. Have a sleeveless dress as well. Just doing some little work outa here and there. I’ll go walking and keep my arms moving. And doing planks are always good.

I'm right there with you about being self conscious about my arms. My dress is sleeveless and I've been trying to work out my upper arms, mainly my triceps. Do pushups, and find you tube videos to help tone your arms until the big day. It will take about 30-40 days to notice a difference. We notice our imperfections more than other people do.

My fiancé and I both use this account so I’m hesitant to post the photos of the dress :/ I have been bulking up my at home yoga practice and slowly noticing definition in my arms. I’m definitely much stronger. And if I keep it up from now to November, maybe I’ll see the definition that others see. Maybe it would help me to take a before photo so I can see the progress for myself?

I had the same complex about my arms my whole life. I'm a pretty tiny girl 5"2, but my arms have always been, I felt, disporportionately large compared to the rest of my body. No matter how much I exercised, weight lifted, etc. or how much weight I lost (I got down to 103 lbs!), my arms would still basically look them same! I was so frustrated especially after getting engaged and knowing I wanted to wear a sleeveless dress for the big day...so I took a plunge into Coolsculpting...they basically freeze your fat cells. Crazy I know! But it has been a miracle! It was expensive, but noninvasive and painless (just a little uncomfortable) but I am so so much more confident in my body and the way I look in my dress. Now I love wearing sleeveless tops. I would do it again in a heartbeat. It's truly the only thing that has worked for me. Hope this helps!

I have this insecurity too. I tried on several sleeveless and a couple off shoulders and I couldn't get past my horrible insecurty, ended up asking for long sleeve or quarter sleeve dresses only. But it really limited my options. But like you I think it's all in our heads. I promise you that you look gorgeous and no one in the world is going to think you have "arm flab". Have you considered doing weights or arm exersizes? Even if you don't have much time working on those issues usually helps me feel more confident.

I looked into cool sculpting, but it sounded expensive and painful! It sounded ideal since it was non invasive and could ease and anxiety I’ve had for a long time, but I ultimately put it out of my mind, anyone have experience to speak to it?

View Quoted Comment That's a great idea! Keep doing the yoga! I'm sure you'll look fabulous in your dress!

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Its about 500-700$ an area. and could take up to 3 times to see any results.. and you have to wait awhile before you go in again.

Keep working on yoga. It sounds like you like it and it'll make you feel strong and confident.

I'm really self conscious about my arms, but I've realized that no one but me is going to be looking at my arms. Flip the script and imagine yourself at a wedding and looking at the couple. Are you looking at her "imperfections?" Probably not, and no one will notice yours either! That's how I've overcome mine. Although I'll probably still be a bit bothered by it, I'll try not think on it.

That’s true! No one at a wedding thinks these things. I shouldn’t concern myself with them either! I need a mantra like that!

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I honestly thought it was worth it. Yes expensive...I paid about 2k for the procedure for both arms (2 treatment sessions) and I am so happy I went through with it. I have been so self consious about my arms for so long, always trying to cover them up with long sleeves or off the shoulder dresses, trying not to expose them in pictures, etc. I just couldn't shake the insecurity after years of exercise and eating healthy, etc. After going to a laser hair removal appointment, I saw my office had a special for the Coolsculpting so I talked to the provider about it and she basically said that at a certain point some people's bodies no matter how much more weight loss or spot training, that area will just continue to be a problem area like my arms were. And so I took the risk. It wasn't painful I would say, but definitely very uncomfortable like if you left an icepack on for too long! The most painful part was at the end when the technician has to massage the arms, it feels like pins and needles! and the tech says it literally feels like a "slushie" because your arms were frozen...lol it sounds crazy to even write, but honestly I am so glad I went through with it and I just feel a million times more confident now. The decision really came down to me and noone else. I highly recommend anyone interested to look more into it!

I have heard mixed reviews on cool sculpting. You definitely need more than one treatment to see significant results from those I know who have done it.

You have a while to your wedding so I would just focus on adding in more strength training for your arms. Even if you don't want to go to a gym, work out at home on push ups, planks, tricep dips.. buy a pair of 5lb weights and do bicep curls and tricep extensions or kickbacks. You can start with 3-4 sets of 10 each and work on adding more reps and more sets. You will see definition and more importantly you will feel more confident about it! Aim to eat a lot of protein every day so your body can build and tone muscles. It is very hard for women to "bulk" up so do not worry about that (especially if you use light weight). Youtube and google will have a lot of free workouts you can take tips from and create a plan that works for you!

Yes, my dream dress i thought was gonna have sleeve or a cape or just something to cover my arms but the dress i decided on is spaghetti strap so when i ordered it i said was going to work out to tone my arms...this was in january and it is now june and i think ive been to the gym about 20 times haha so this past weekend i went to the beach and took a picture in my bathing suit and the first thing i looked at was my arms and they actually looked tone in the picture. So my plan is to do that same pose in all my wedding pictures lol but you could get a cap that drops just below your arms. Etsy and davids bridal has some.

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My biggest insecurity is my arms. I'm a plus size (I fluctuate between 14-18) and I carry a lot of weight in my upper arms. It's the last place my body wants to lose weight and the skin is pretty loose from where the weight has been lost. I wound up adding sleeves to my dress, I still felt beautiful in my dress without it but I knew I would felt more comfortable with long sleeves since I would be photographed so much. No regrets.

You can also do some weight lifting to tone your arms. Target that area to tighten you arms. But i have a mermaid dress that has no straps and no sleeves and had that same problem so i been working out to tone up and that worked. I had to stop due to health reasons but have 5 pound weights at home and worked my arms 2 times a day for 15 mins. Hope that helps.

View Quoted Comment That’s so great of you! Definitely take pics so you can appreciate the progress from your hard work. You have plenty of time to feel even more confident. Now I need to follow your lead and start up yoga again!!

Haha I’ve got a list of arm exercises for toning because I had the same thought after looking at me in pics of the dress. (Low weights, lots of reps)
THAT said, I’ve always been self conscious about my arms, even when i was at my skinniest...now I look back on those pictures and it’s like...what was I thinking?! What did I see?! So we are for sure our own biggest critics.

I’ve been doing yoga with adrienne on YouTube, her true 30 program is super uplifting and easy to make time for! It’s definitely giving me strength and making me more comfortable w my body lol I may have done underwear yoga the other day just to have a self pride day haha one of the benefits of at home practice!