Skipping first dance?

Umm what?....

That's one tradition I most definitely wouldn't skip, I think you're thinking way too much into the song selection. But ultimately it's your wedding do you!

Totally feel your pain - FS and I don't share the same taste in music at all, so we're having a really hard time finding a slow song that's meaningful to both of us. However, while I'm not super traditional - walking myself down the aisle, no FG, RB, bouquet/garter toss, no entrances or toasts - the first dance is one I can't imagine my wedding without.

That being said, this is an area that does fall under "It's your wedding, do what you want!" If the first dance isn't meaningful to you, you don't have to do it. It sounds like your guests will enjoy your wedding either way.

I didn't do any spotlight dances, including first dance. No eyebrows were raised.

You should do whatever you like. However, don't give it up because you can't think of a song, especially when your wedding is 5 months away and not something you need to focus on now.

If you need help, tell me what kind of music/eras you both like and I can give you suggestions. I'm kind of a music whisperer.

ETA: your dance does not have to be slow.

I don't think it is a big deal at all to skip a spotlight dance, however, i would make sure you and FH get out on the dance floor with the guests early in the night. we went to a wedding where the couple skipped it and people were hesitant to dance for awhile, thinking that they were supposed to wait for the "first dance." so as long as you are out there with everyone, i think it's totally fine!

If you don't want to do it then don't and I doubt anyone will think twice about it.

Thanka for all the support people.

@firstoneat56, thanks you so much! I am PM'ing you the moment I can log in to a desktop :-)

People skip it all the time, however I think it's really weird to skip it just because you want to give up on choosing a song.

I agree with other posters, if you skip any of those reception traditions, no one will really notice/care. I was at a wedding once where they forgot to do their cake cutting ceremony! I didn't realize until months later when the bride told me! Cake was served so everyone was happy.

FH and I also disagree on music. One cool tip is to pick any song that has a good wedding/love message and you both like, no matter the genre. Then search on You Tube / iTunes for an acoustic, sting quartet, or piano version. This is how we finally chose a few of our songs. Good Luck!

Some examples we picked:

First Dance: Safe and Sound performed by Ali Brustofski & Corey Gray (Original by Capitol Cities)

Processional: I Will Wait performed by Two Beats Apart (Original by Mumford and Sons)

ETA - Misspelled one of the performers

I agree that your reason for skipping it isn't maybe the ideal one, but people for sure skip it all the time. we didn't do any of the usual dances because of a combo of my anxiety and DH's inability to dance to any song other than Ginuwine's Pony (which definitely got played later on).

some nice songs i've seen as first dance choices: Heaven by Heart, Into the Mystic by Van Morrison (literally always makes me cry)

It is absolutely fine to skip spotlight dances, you'll just need to think of a different way to kick off the dancing (if you are having any). This could be as simple as your DJ or band making an announcement inviting everyone to head to the dance floor and picking a fun kick-off song that lots of people will get up for. Your guests will not be mad if you want to skip this. But I'm in total agreement with a lot of PPs, if you WANT to have a first dance don't give up on it just because you can't agree on a song. Keep searching and compromising, you can always use one of your song options for another special moment like the cake cutting, bouquet toss, recessional from the ceremony..., my DH and I have "our song" that we danced to as our first dance but used another song with special sentimental value for us as the final dance at the end of the reception and it was still very sweet and special.

Noted these suggestions- will listen to them on my way back home.

I do agree that it is silly to cancel first dance just because we can't agree on a song. But we tossed this possibility around, just because we find ourselves getting stressed just listening to each other's choices. He is heavy metal, I am jazz and a bit of 90's pop.

We had a full blown fight about picking the first song. So I wanted to skip the dance too but he refused to skip it. So I'm compromising. It's 2 min of my life. It's the one thing he can have a say on

OK - check these out (probably leaning a little more towards FH's taste but at least it's a start):

Nothing Else Matters - Metallica

More Than Words - Extreme

Song For You - Lunatica

I'll Never Let You Go - Steelheart

Change The World - Finger Eleven

Stand Inside Your Love - Smashing Pumpkins

Yellow - Coldplay (my friend used this song)

Love of My Life - Queen

Love Song - The Cure (Adele does a beautiful version of this a well)

Iris - Goo Goo Dolls

Everlong - Foo Fighters (acoustic version)

Hope this helps!

Agree that you don't "need" a first dance but you do want something, even if it's just a DJ announcement, to kick things off on the dance floor. One alternative to a traditional first couple's dance (which I'm considering for my reception) is to have a family dance instead. Either the DJ can call all of the immediate family to the dance floor, or you and your partner can start off the first 30 seconds of a song (perhaps let the parents choose a song that's meaningful to them) and then have the rest of the families join in. Or, you could have an "anniversary dance" where the DJ asks all the couples present to join the newlyweds on the dance floor., and you have people drop off the dance floor according to the number of years they've been together.

Totally was gonna suggest Goo Goo Dolls. Also, The Cure suggestionis great as well. Actually, all of @firstoneat56's suggestions are really good.

Skipping. I never wanted to, FH did.

I said if we had it choreographed, we could.

LONG story short, scheduling with us and the choreographer just wasn't happening.

So FH agreed to skip, finally.

Thank heavens.

@firstoneat56's suggestions are excellent! My FH is also into metal and thought Metallica's "Nothing Else Matters" would be great for our first dance. Since I'm not into it, we compromised and will have our string quartet play it during the pre-ceremony or cocktail hour. I love cross-genre covers, so maybe you could look for a metal song covered in a sound that you also like?

ETA: words

@Catti and @Hope - thank you. Metal is always a bit of a challenge for me but I hope one of these work for OP (Although I did go through a brief Black Sabbath period back in the 1970's).

We're dancing to "Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me" by Gladys Knight and The Pips going into "You Never Can Tell" by Chuck Berry. And yes, we are attempting to recreate the Uma Thurmann/John Travolta dance to that song from "Pulp Fiction."

We are skipping all dancing, speeches, bridesmaids and groomsmen. no showers or parties either.

so i think ill need about 10-15 songs to play on loop while people(24 max, 30 when you count FH and me and the our kids) get seated or whatever and thats it.

the only people that will care on your day are the super uber traditionalists.