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Alyssa
Dedicated August 2013

sitting or standing?

Alyssa, on April 25, 2013 at 12:48 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 18

So the ceremony and reception will happen all at one place. We are doing the ceremony outside by a beautiful creek and the reception inside. However due to money issues and everything else going on I never budgeted seating during the ceremony. Not mention, chair rental prices are insane!! The ceremony is going to be short, sweet and to the point. Is it rude not have a place for guests to sit? and is it weird to have everyone stand during it?

18 Comments

Latest activity by Alyssa, on April 25, 2013 at 11:11 PM
  • Trena
    Master July 2013
    Trena ·
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    It's not unheard of, but I wouldn't do it. Is it possible to use the same chairs as your reception? And hire someone to move them over during the cocktail hour?

    The reasons I'm not a fan of forcing people to stand:

    1. Short people getting stuck behind tall people. I'd hate to stand there and not even be able to see.

    2. Elderly and those with disabilities cannot stand for long periods of time. Not to mention children.

    3. Even if your ceremony is 10 minutes long, most people get there up to a half hour early, which suddenly turns the time standing to 40 minutes to an hour. Not fun in heels, or heck, at all.

    4. I've heard if you don't have designated spaces, sometimes people won't form an aisle for the bride to walk down. Yes, I have heard that, and brides have to basically announce themselves to get through.

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  • JMedd
    Super May 2013
    JMedd ·
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    At my cousin's wedding, the officiant never asked the guests to be seated after she came up the isle so everyone stood through the 15 minute ceremony. I really hope she didn't pay for chairs.

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  • Alyssa
    Dedicated August 2013
    Alyssa ·
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    Lol..that's horrible! I guess I'll have to work something out for seating. 2.50 plus per chair plus set up and take down seems completely crazy to me! we are having around 150 people...that ends up being a lot of money...for chairs..lol

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  • T
    Expert August 2013
    ToBMrs.V ·
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    I reallly think you need chairs to set the scene and make your guests comfortable. Especially if you expect that many people. I'm getting charged about $3 to $4 for chairs for my reception.

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  • DlovesD
    Master June 2014
    DlovesD ·
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    I think it would be worth it to find the money for chairs. Older relatives will complain about it, girls in heels will be restless to get off the grass, and the photographs will come out better. Exception is if it is a small ceremony (20 or less) I'd say standing is fine.

    Edit: sorry just saw your response about getting seating!

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  • Nancy Taussig
    Nancy Taussig ·
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    ^ I agree!

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  • MissB
    VIP May 2013
    MissB ·
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    150 people standing up, more than half would not see anything. I would try to find some way to do seating.

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  • JC
    VIP May 2013
    JC ·
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    I agree you do need some kind of seating, the ladies above has great thoughts, I like Trena's advice, is there any way you can use the reception chairs for the ceremony? ask a few friends to set them up and them bring them back during cocktail hour for the reception. also having chairs would set up a atmosphere for the ceremony.

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  • We'llAlwaysHaveParis
    Master November 2013
    We'llAlwaysHaveParis ·
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    I've gone to one outdoor wedding that sounds exactly what you describe. For the life of me I cannot remember if there was seating or not.

    I just saw the guest count - the wedding I went to was significantly smaller.

    150 people need chairs, otherwise it's going to be crowded chaos.

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  • Almost Mrs. P
    Super June 2013
    Almost Mrs. P ·
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    If you can't use the reception chairs for the ceremony, what about just getting some chairs and only seat elderly, immediately family, etc. And then have everyone stand behind them. This allows you to create and aisle with the few rows of chairs you do have and seats the people who need the seats? Sort of like in this photo I found online...


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  • Forever (a) Young
    Expert September 2012
    Forever (a) Young ·
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    I went to a wedding with no seats, and I remember thinking through the whole ceremony, "seriously, we don't even get chairs??" I thought it was awful. If there's any way to get chairs, even taking them from the reception and then bringing them back, do it.

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  • MinD
    VIP June 2013
    MinD ·
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    I would provide chairs for the same reasons pop listed. Also, your wedding is listed as being in August and the heat alone could make standing very uncomfortable.

    As a guest, if I had to stand in heat for the ceremony, unless the rest of the event was really low-key, I would wonder why other things (ie: the flowers, etc) took priority over the comfort of invited guests.

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  • M2H
    Master September 2013
    M2H ·
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    I am short and i can tell you i am usually the one stuck behind somebody of average height not being able to see and i hate it.

    You also have to think even though your ceremony will be short and sweet, what about the time they will be standing to wait for it to start? Most women will be in heels fo a wedding and in a grassy part it is not easy to stand too long. You could also price out other options like benches or some sort of make shift seating that will still be cost effective.

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  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
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    If it's short, you can get away with renting chairs for a few rows of the elderly and infirm (like me, lol), and having the others stand. I do that all the time.....Most 'off premise' weddings are 15-20 minutes (and in August? If they're not, they should be....) and most people can stand that long.

    Is there a cheaper chair you can rent for the ceremony? We used to rent white samsonites for about 1.50.....outside of NYC.....

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  • FutureMrsL
    Master July 2014
    FutureMrsL ·
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    Yup, go with the chairs if you can fit it into your budget. You don't want to be remembered as having the wedding where people had to stand the whole time. Remember they will be standing for a long time as guests arrive. Chairs will also help to keep the place organized and then people will have an easier time seeing the ceremony. I would try shopping around for chairs, or there are always other options -- folding chairs, benches, even big things of hay! Maybe a church or community center could lend you chairs?

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  • mrsg
    Master September 2017
    mrsg ·
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    I'd cut flowers, favors, ANYTHING to find some money so guests don't have to stand. 15 minutes in heels feels like a long time.

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  • Alyssa
    Dedicated August 2013
    Alyssa ·
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    Thanks for the input everyone. I will be getting chairs for everyone.lol

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