Sister Sabotage

This sucks. I'd stop discussing wedding plans around her. And if your parents are excusing that behavior and asking you not to talk about it, don't talk about it with them, either. I talk to FW about wedding plans and like pp I come here to get my fix. Usually even mom, dad, sisters and brothers aren't nearly as excited as you.

I'm so sorry!!

Sister drama...you're speaking my language!

My sister and I don't get along. She got mad when I didn't post about her engagement on my social media 4 years ago (to people she doesn't know as we live in different states), told me she would try to break me and FH up (and did try), told my parents she wouldn't come to the wedding and is now upset that she might not be in the wedding because she says she was FORCED to have me in hers.

(She was also mad that I didn't tell her first about our plans to marry and now says that I won't see my nephew ever again because of it- same nephew that she asked me to be the Godmother for).

Today it was that I needed to take down any photos of me and my nephew before she called the police and reported that I was posting pictures of her son without her permission.

Gee...can't imagine why I don't want to include her in my life...

I know what you are dealing with; my sister has been a total B since summer of 2015 when my brother got engaged. During that wedding, my sister tried to manufacture drama between me and the new SIL. Thank goodness SIL and I talked to each other and stopped relying on any information from my sister as being credible.

Since my engagement, my sister has found a million excuses to not go dress shopping, not come to the showers, and pretty much avoid as many wedding related events as possible. I told my dad I would still send her mailed invitations to events, but I have zero expectation she'll be there. Dad guilted her into coming to our engagement party in December. That was the only time I've seen her since October- she didn't even come to the extended family Thanksgiving or Christmas.

She did RSVP to my wedding this weekend, which is good. But I have no idea if she'll actually come. Her daughter is supposed to be one of my flower girls.

Hopefully my sister will grow up for the one day and hopefully your sister will do the same for you.

Thank you for your opinions everyone. My family historically has always been close, and never treated each other like this until my sister moved back home. Maybe that's why I'm having such a hard time pulling away, because it was never like this before. I always dreamed of having my sisters there with me, celebrating and embracing the new side of their family, but I know things don't always go as we hope. I know my fiancé and I will still make this an incredible day, it's just hard accepting my family will not play the role I always thought they would ??

@OG Katherine sorry it was just to show another example of FH brother wanting what his brother had at first but she didn't end up being pregnant.

As someone who has a sister who has ruined every event in my life, just move on. Because you can't remove her as a bridesmaid, just tell her the dress to buy and where to be when. Yes, your family will enable her craziness, nothing you can do. You can't control how others behave, you can only control yourself. I'm 50 and still struggle with it and still hurt. My sister isn't changing. Trust me, let it go.

I also have a sister who has never been anything but a toxic person in my life. It has caused me to lose my relationship with her children and cause countless hours of pain and crying. I recently decided no more, with the support of my FH, and she is not invited to our wedding. I am the last one in the family to still be talking to her, so with this she is completely estranged from everyone and she brought it all on herself. It sucks, but it is what it is. Good luck, and I hope she figures her stuff out before that happens to your family too.

If I were in that situation I wouldn't talk about anything wedding related with her and if she asks why then you tell her the way she's behaving isn't making any of the planning fun for you.

Will someone help me

My matrons of honor were trash talking me in a group message after bridesmaid dress shopping yesterday

One is my sister. So I can relate here