Sister moh surprised me with white dress, is this ok?

Did you tell her that she could pick any dress and any color she wanted? White is a slightly unusual choice - I’ve seem bridesmaids wear white, but that was a choice by the bride. Is she perhaps from a culture where bridesmaids wear white? In the US usually the bride has SOME say over what the wedding party wears, especially colors. It’s pretty common for the bride to pick the actual style, even
I would not love it for my bridesmaids to wear white, ai want some color in the palette, and you would not be out of line to ask her to choose something different.

It depends on how you feel about her standing right next to you wearing pretty much all white just like you. If you have any amount of uncomfortable feelings towards it I'd tell her she's not allowed to wear it. Stand your ground.

Does she usually do rude things for attention? Does the dress look "bridal" AKA does it have details like lace or a train that make it look like a wedding gown? Not everyone is aware of the dos and don'ts when it comes to dressing for a wedding, so maybe this was an innocent mistake. The MOH does sometimes wear a unique dress, but you would have to be OK with it and it sounds like you're not. I would talk to her about it and maybe offer to help her shop for something else.

Typically only the bride wears white, so unless you told her she could do that then I would tell her to return the dress. Do you have bridesmaids and if so, what are they wearing? If it’s just the two of you, I personally think it’s worse if she’s wearing white.

I also agree that it's weird that she would choose that color. It seems like something someone who always tries to ruin someones day for attention does. Is she usually that type who tries the steel the show?

That's completely up to you, if you don't mind her also wearing white then so be it. It seems like it isn't just white since you said it has gold hints. I personally wouldn't care if my sister (MOH) wore white as long as it wasn't an actual wedding dress or gown! But that's just me.

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She does to be honest, but tends to get away with it because she’s the youngest and it gets branded and ‘innocent’. I did show her another dress, and her mood has come completely upside down and she seems unhappy while saying ‘It’s your wedding though’.

It’s does look unique and it is a lovely dress, she also mentions how she has spent alot of money on it too.
I want everyone to be happy on the day especially the MOH. But not sure how to say something and keep her happy. Unless I just compensate on that 🤷🏻‍♀️

View Quoted Comment Bridesmaids are in a blush pink and there are 3 of them. That’s the thing she didn’t even ask, her approach was completely wrong how she wanted to ‘surprise’ me. But I don’t want to be over the top, and this might end up looking fine, want to avoid drama but don’t want regrets on the day

View Quoted Comment That looks like a wedding gown. It's your wedding, you and your SO are the only ones who really need to be happy. Trying to make sure everyone else is happy will only make you the bride miserable. Worry about your own happiness and tell her no.

Personally that dress is pretty, but definitely looks like a wedding gown. I’m am telling you this is the nicest way possible. I just learned this lesson myself. Stop people pleasing to avoid a conflict. It sounds like your not okay with it, and that is totally completely okay. It’s your day! You deserve the best, and what you want. I would break it to her gently because she is your sister. I don’t think she should of bought a dress without you saying yes or no first. However everyone does things differently. My heart goes out to you because this is an awkward situation. In the long run you have to think will you look back and be okay with her wearing that or will you think I can’t believe I let her wear that. It’s 100% you and you’re fiancé day. Do what pleases you both. I am sure no matter what your day will be absolutely beautiful. Best of luck ♥️

I know wedding customs vary, so take it with a grain of salt, but it sounds like the bridesmaids are wearing dresses you had a say in, so why would she be any different?
To me that looks very wedding dress like.

As a MOH she will often be next to you in pictures. Tell her if you both wear shades of white/ ivory, 1 of you will look dingy in comparison. She should opt for a color with better contrast. This is the nice way to appeal to her vanity and have her make her own corrections.

View Quoted Comment This is a good idea, thank you. Will try it 👍🏼

View Quoted Comment Thank you, you’re right X

View Quoted Comment That’s a good point, I guess as she bought it without discussing first I didn’t have a chance.


It is a Greek wedding so the traditions aren’t too restrictive, and we’re ‘trying’ to keep it casual as the weddings abroad (in Greece) but I guess you can’t avoid drama!
My mum has been supportive of her dress too encouraging her to buy it. Funnily enough she even mentioned whether she should wear a tiara too which I couldn’t believe.
This chat has been very helpful though and I’m just going to say what I need to say and not feel like the ‘bad guy’ for it!

View Quoted Comment Family can be so difficult at times! And traditions really do vary, so it can be hard to tell what’s customary.
Are there any older aunties who you can ask for a “sanity check?”
Like ask them “hey, I am not sure, is this usually a thing in Greek weddings, where the MOH wears a lacy white dress and a tiara?” They will have seen everything LOL

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This is brilliant! If this strategy doesn't work, then I (personally) would really encourage you to shut it down somehow. This could definitely vary by culture and customs, but if I attended a wedding (of someone in my same culture, with my same customs) where the MOH wore that white lacy dress next to the bride, I would be ASTONISHED and sooooo embarassed for the bride. I would interpret it as a hugely attention-seeking and disrespectful gesture from the MOH to the bride/wedding. I agree with one of the PPs who said that yes, sometimes BMs/MOHs wear white, but it's a) at the bride's request and b) all of the BMs/MOHs wear white, not just one. I wish you the best of luck!!

View Quoted Comment This is exactly what I was thinking, I was torn between looking like an attention freak by saying can you not wear white and, maybe it’s not as bad as I think/ am I overreacting.


But I think maybe she was playing on the fact that she knew I wouldn’t want to come across like that. I just need to be honest. Thanks

View Quoted Comment Thanks, I definitely just need to be honest now, it’s gonna be tough but for the best. Just hate looking like the attention freak for something like this which I’m really not, I just feel like it right for the wedding

View Quoted Comment Also yes, she’s the only one in the family that refuses to get vaccinated which is going to make the process so much more difficult since the wedding is abroad.