Sister missing rehearsal dinner

It's understandable, but even so, the rehearsal isn't technically required.

SIL missed our rehearsal dinner because she had committed to a work thing... and claimed she couldn't get out of it. (I remain skeptical, given her behavior during the planning process.)

Look at it this way: you'll be having a blast relaxing and getting ready for the wedding with your FS, your friends, and your family. And your sister will not be.

I think you're very justified to be upset. From her point of view this is a team commitment, and maybe more fun than sitting at a dinner making small talk with grandma and aunt Jenny etc. etc. but at the end of the day, she participates in this league 3x per week, X weeks per year and the rehearsal dinner is once in her (and your!) entire life. I would be shocked if others in the league haven't let the team know in advance that they will be missing ONE day for a sickness, graduation, kid ballet recital/sport game, wedding, etc.

Talk to her and let her know that this is hurting your feelings and you want her there to celebrate with you in this very special, sentimental and meaningful time for you! But try and keep the tone neutral and don't go in guns blazing otherwise this won't be a productive convo good luck girl!

I would definitely be upset. You're getting married once (maybe, even if this is a second, third, or fourth marriage, getting married is for most still a pretty infrequent event as far as a lifetime goes) and she bowls 3x/week? She should absolutely be there.

Does she have a role in your wedding at all? If so, I'd probably tell her you need her there so she knows what she is supposed to do. If not, I'd probably just convey my disappointment but there isn't much you can do if she is choosing bowling over being at your rehearsal.

View Quoted Comment She is a bridesmaid. She is coming to the rehearsal she is just skipping out for the dinner after. I know it's not required or anything but it's my first (God willing, my only) wedding. If it were the other way around it wouldnt even be a question to skip bowling to be there and celebrate with her through all of it.

View Quoted Comment I explained to her that I wish she wouldn't go and that I will definitely miss her not being there, but it didn't make a difference to her. Our mother tried talking to her and asking what was so important that she couldn't miss one night and immediately got pissed and sent me a message saying not to worry about her missing half of the night she would be there. I could tell she was pissed and being passive aggressive about it. So at this point I've decided to tell her to just go bowling cuz I'd rather her not be there than to be there and be hateful and in a bad mood.

I would be upset. This is a special event for you and she should want to be apart of it all

View Quoted Comment

I've had my sister act the EXACT. SAME. WAY. before and I am so sorry! At this point, it'll be more fun for you to have her at her bowling league than spending the night trying to get her to stop sulking. It's easier said than done, but focus on the people who are there and enjoying the time with them and your future husband!!