Hope
Savvy January 2020

Sister missing rehearsal dinner

Hope, on January 4, 2020 at 4:07 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 27
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So my sister is a bowler. She bowls in leagues 3 nights a week. My rehearsal dinner is on a night that she has a league. She is planning on skipping the rehearsal dinner so she can still make it to bowling. Am I wrong to be upset?

27 Comments

Latest activity by Katie, on January 8, 2020 at 2:41 PM
  • Cyndy
    Rockstar May 2019
    Cyndy ·
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    Honestly I would be upset too. How important can bowling be to miss part of your sisters wedding? I consider the rehearsal dinner to be a part of the big day.
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  • Hope
    Savvy January 2020
    Hope ·
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    That's what I was thinking. I rented a cabin for the bridal party to stay in the night before as well. It has always been the plan for us to stay there and she just informed me (2 weeks before the big day) that she isn't planning on staying at the cabin either. I'm kind of hurt that she doesn't see the importance and I even explained that to her and she just said she was sorry and wished she could be two places at once.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    I would also be upset, but unfortunately attending the rehearsal isn’t a requirement.
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  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
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    Sure, you can be bothered by it. But I think it’s also something to get over so that it doesn’t become bigger than it needs to be. Nothing is being hindered by her absence and the “show” will go on. Most important is the wedding and your sister will be there for that.
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  • Hope
    Savvy January 2020
    Hope ·
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    Yea, I told her I had to be honest and that I will miss her not being there to enjoy the night with us that I wouldn't die if she's not there. I'm not gonna let it stress me out. I'll still enjoy my night with the rest of the wedding party, but I'll definitely miss her not being there with me.
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  • Rose
    Devoted August 2020
    Rose ·
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    My sister is a softball player and has missed COUNTLESS family functions to play games/ tournaments. She even missed my mother’s surprise party for her 60th birthday. My wedding is in the summer right in the middle of the season and honestly I’m just waiting for her to not show up to something because of a game. I would be so mad and hurt if she skipped my rehearsal dinner, but some people are just like that. And the only person upset about it is going to be you, other wise she wouldn’t be missing it to begin with so just try to carry on and have a good time without her.
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  • gratia01
    Devoted January 2021
    gratia01 ·
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    Is she in the wedding? I wouldn't be upset unless she's supposed to be participating. I would be very hurt if my sister missed anything for my big day because she's my MOH!

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  • Mrs. S
    Master November 2019
    Mrs. S ·
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    If it makes you feel better my husband’s brother skipped our actual wedding so he could study for a test, which he had weeks to study for and our wedding was announced a year and a half out plus he was a groomsman, but ok...then he played PS4 all weekend instead (it records the history which we can see from our account). I’m still angry but it seems I’m the only one who cares. I’d be mad too but at least she’ll be at the wedding!
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  • Hope
    Savvy January 2020
    Hope ·
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    Yes, she's a bridesmaid. Being MOH wasn't an option cuz we are very different people and I knew she'd hate having that responsibility.
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  • Hope
    Savvy January 2020
    Hope ·
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    Wow! That's crazy! I'd be so pissed.
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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    Nah I would be pissed and honestly probably would have let her have it lol. Do not listen to me though ha ha ha. One of me and my bf's friends missed the rehearsal for a stupid reason but she was the final bridesmaid so she just had to follow us and we told her what to do prior so she will be fine. She owes you a round of drinks though lol.

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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    I’d be pretty upset too... she goes 3 times a week and can’t miss one night?
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  • Taylor
    VIP October 2020
    Taylor ·
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    I'd be irritated as well. That being said, the day isn't about her. Focus on you and your FH! If she doesn't wanna come, her loss!

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  • Alexis
    Dedicated October 2020
    Alexis ·
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    I am in no way comparing my New Year’s Eve party to your wedding, but it was a lot of work. The day of I kept getting texts from people who had RSVPd yes, that they wouldn’t be able to make it after all. I was starting to get pretty down about the whole thing and decided to keep positive, knowing that the right people would show and we’d have a great time. That’s exactly what happened. I’d be upset too if my sister chose bowling over rehearsal dinner, but let it go and enjoy those there to support you.
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  • M
    Expert October 2021
    Megan ·
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    While it's definitely a little annoying, it's not something to spend too much brain power or emotional energy on. The rehearsal dinner is to thank those who attend the rehearsal, so it's entirely optional. Is she able to make it to the rehearsal itself?

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  • Dacey
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Dacey ·
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    Id be very upset if my sister did that. Bowling is a hobby, your wedding is once, and rehearsal dinners are a big part of that

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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    Yup. Few rehearsal dinners I have ever been to , of many, have even I cluded siblings of B and G unless they are in the wedding, and in an out of town hotel, the night before the wedding, with no place to go. Lots of bridal party members, not relatives, do not bother with rehearsal dinners, either. Especially if they were at a bridal shower or the bachelorette. When you ask someone to be in the bridal party, attending the wedding is required, obviously. But all parties are optional. And rehearsals themselves are rarely necessary for any but the B and G. A lot of couples just talk to the clergy or officiant and pass it on. Getting ready, rehearsal dinner, strictly their choice. As long as she is ready at least a half hour before the first pictures or the ceremony, in place, that is okay. You may want more. But in 15 years, the wedding parties, dinners, wedding party things have gone from a few hours trice, plus a 6-8 hour wedding day. To 3-5 parties and dinners and extras. The media loves it, the wedding industry loves it, some bride's do, and some BM do. But many family and BP do not want all the optional stuff. Let her go to her other commitment. Getting angry solves nothing, and just leaves a bitter feeling. Shrug and move on. RD are not necessary. Enjoy those who want to come.
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  • Stephanie
    Dedicated October 2020
    Stephanie ·
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    Okay as someone who’s in a bowling league why can’t she prebrowl? Prebowling is where you bowl before league night and they count that as your score we did that for my FH sisters wedding in September because he was in it and we didn’t want to miss her rehearsal... She has options just sounds like she’s choosing to not do it.. not trying to be mean toward her.. maybe her league doesn’t offer that but every league I’ve been in as offered prebowling..
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  • Hope
    Savvy January 2020
    Hope ·
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    Yes, she is coming to the rehearsal. For some of the other comments, I never said it was a requirement for her to be there. By being upset I guess I mean more a little hurt that celebrating with her own sister ranks lower than missing one night of bowling when she goes 3 nights a week. This entire planning process I have not asked for them to do anything as it's not their responsibility. All I asked is for them to spend the night before and day of with all of us together relaxing and yes...for once in my life...celebrating me.
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  • Hope
    Savvy January 2020
    Hope ·
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    I'm not sure about this league in particular but a lot of other leagues around here have made it a rule that you can't prebowl unless the whole team does. Not sure if this is the case or not, but my parents are also bowlers and they are missing their league night as well and it's on a position night and their team is in first place right now. Them missing could very well knock them out of the running for winning the season.
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