Sister in law problems

Honestly, invite her. Things might get worse if you don't. And since she completely ignored you at the shower, she might either (a) ignore you at the wedding, which is fine since you'll want to spend time with people who love you or (b) maybe she won't go or (c) maybe she'll see this as an unselfish move and start to turn a new leaf.

She'll only bother you if you let it bother you. For the sake of the family, I'd do it. You might cause a more permanent rift if you don't.

Thats hard i would let your FH decide it is his sister after all and if he decides to invite her just ignore her

Invite her because shes family, ignore her because she chewed you out. Literally look through/around her, no eye contact.

Let FH handle it. His family, his problem.

He wants me to make the decision as she verbally attacked me and my family. And he says he has ignored her all his life so it's easy for him but doesn't want it to put a damper on our day. I sometimes feel like i should message her and just ask her is this really how it's going to be... but then again i feel like it's happened to many times that she has done this to me that i just don't think i should be the first to say something.. It's just sad and i wish there was a way to resolve it. But how do you talk to someone that tells you they Hate you and can't stand you. I'm so at a loss.

If it is really that distressing to you, I wouldn't invite her. I have a few 'family' members I am not inviting. My mother wasn't happy about one, my cousins aren't pleased about another. They ended up getting over it. Although neither of these are immediate family members. I did for a while consider not inviting my brother and my parents left the decision up to me but in the end I really did want him to be there so he got an invitation.

Although I stick by the - his family his problem, he probably just doesn't want to make the call on this one.

Honestly,if she is going to alter yours or FH's mood on YOUR big day do not invite her. As long as FH is comfortable telling his parents why she was not invited then I would not send an invitation.

If he doesnt have a problem with it then dont invite her theres no point this day isnt about anyone else except the bride and groom everyone else can get over her not being invited

I would invite her. If she really hates you that much, she won't come, and maybe she'll decide to come and play nice.

I would invite her if only to keep the piece with your FH's family. I can't imagine his parents would be okay with her not being invited to your wedding. Be the bigger person (honestly I would take a picture to show that you invited her so she can't say you didn't send her one in the future). If she doesn't come, that's on her not you or FH.

I'm going through same issue. Not so much being chewed out though. My sis in law disrespected my son and me twice by talking negatively about my then 9 year old. After a heated argument I told her she was never again invited to my household for being disrespectful. Since then and almost 2 1/2 years later we havent spoken. I advised my husb that I was not planning on sending her an invite as I dont feel comfy having her around on such a joyous day. He understood and said it was up to me because he knows I haven't forgiven her. So I debated even after the save the dates. Still now as I'm getting ready to send out invites, in my heart I feel sad for my husb but i know deep inside I'll be wondering if this witch will be saying inappropriate/negative stuff during our day. So to be on the safe side, she will not be invited. It made it easier when hubby told me he no longer cared if she was invited. See we both ended divorced early last year from all the damage she caused us. The least she could've done was offer an apology but since she hasn't I don't want to compromise our day. His siblings and father is aware that she is not invited and they are all still attending since they agree that my feelings are acceptable given the circumstances that she had created.

If it was me... I would invite her. I think its very classy to be the better person and to not sink to their level. You never know, this kind gesture could heal things. If she is still mad about what happened then she probably wouldn't even accept, but at least you extended the olive branch. Whatever decision you make, I hope it works out.

I would invite her. There will be so many people at your wedding wanting to show you love and celebrate with them that you won't need to worry about spending any time with her if you don't want to. Also, she may one day grow up and become a decent human being and if your relationship improves, you may regret not having had her at your wedding. Be the bigger person and you'll thank yourself for it later, at least in my experience.

At first I was like hell no!

But you know what...invite her...let her make the decision. You will always be the one that invited her instead of her saying "she didn't even invite me to my own brothers wedding"

Sorry doll..but let her be the ass! :-)

I decided to text her. Asking her where things went wrong between us. And Not understanding what happened. ( waiting to see how she reacts or what she says, then we as a couple will make the decision) Thanks everyone for the advice

SO. You and I are in the same boat...LOL. Seriously though, sounds like the issues we are having with FSIL..I plan to just invite her, & seat her next to her grandma because then she will be on her best behavior . Update us!!

Invite her. One day you may want a relationship, this could only make that worse. If all you said is truly how she feels, she won't come anyways.

I agree that you should invite her and put the ball in her court. she will show her true colors.

there's a lot of stunad people out there!

I am with the majority invite her. She will always use it against you if you don't and FH is letting you make the decision but I am willing to bet that deep down he wants his sister there.