sister getting married right after me- help!

Nothing is more complex than a sister relationship, except the mother daughter complicated relationship. I was lobbying for my sister to get engaged during our engagement because I knew she would be happier helping my plan my wedding, if she also had one to look forward to. I was right. Now, I know that I would've been happier for her if she had gotten engaged first.But well, I know she has more of "me" complex and I totally accept that quality in her. She is my bm and I will most probably not be hers. But hey, I don't care at all. I'm sorry, I know that sister sibling relationship and "rivalry" exists and is there, even if we deny it. You can't control your sister. My sister is very secretive of her wedding too. I'm looking forward to just relaxing and not being in the spotlight at her wedding. But that is my personality. I dislike the stares and criticisms from relatives. I know that we can't change things, we are born with the sisters and mothers that we have.

My friends who don't have sisters wish that they had one! Believe that!!! Remember all the great things she's done for you in the past and how she was there for you when you needed her and how she can understand your feelings, even if just once, more so than anyone else because you're sisters and you know each other that way. My sisters and I are very different now as grownups, but of course they affected my personality and maybe that's just the way it is. This is how I turned out and if you learned something from that, even if not how to be and how to be a bigger person, then that's a wonderful life lesson in maturity, experience, and being a person of character, compassion, and empathy.

Yeah, I would sooo be upset and I totally get how some members of a family rank in priority over others. but, that is just how life happens and if you let it get to you for too long it will just ruin your day for you. and like you said, it's your day. just sit down with her and talk. don't demote her. you will regret that move. i promise!! are you going to be in her wedding?

oh, and Kari....man, I am soo sorry!!

Ok I know how you feel. Me and my fiance (now husband) got engaged around the same time as my brother did. They kept moving their date around and we moved ours up. To make a long story short, our weddings are a little more than a month apart! I just had my wedding, and theirs is in 2 weeks. At first she had some bitter feelings toward me about it. But then we worked it out. You deserve to have YOUR day, just as she deserves to have hers. We as brides get so caught up in our day that we forget what it's about. It's only about marrying our FH and having a great time with family and friends. Yes, it may be true that some family members may come to hers and not yours. But I doubt it would be due to "choosing" but most likely finances. You should instead just be happy for her, just as I am sure she is happy for you. And enjoy whatever family comes around for her wedding or for yours. Just remember, it's only a day. Talk to her and work together. Share ideas!!!

Wow.....glad I'm an only child good grief!

I agree Libragurl, I cut ties with my family a few yyears ago over family drama. Fh family has a ton of it and he only has one sibling. I have 5 total only 3 have been in my most of my life. Just recently I reunited with my family and all its been is drama. I almost afraid to tell them about the wedding.

Ok I'm so glad I found this ... I was feeling bad that I was upset about my fiances brother deciding two days ago, that him and his "girlfriend" where getting married 2 weeks!! after us... We have been engaged for awhile and have planned our wedding like normal, sent out save the dates and all that... and a few days ago his brother calls and says "well we've planned our wedding we need you to get tux fittings" so now two weeks after ours, we have to rent ANOTHER tux and his brother and "girlfriend" (I say girlfriend because nobody even knew they were engaged) .. don't have jobs and I'm afraid because most of the family can't make it theirs, our wedding will turn into a babyshower/wedding party for them.. I'm just gonna elope lol